“Dove for Men” shampoo works because of its “Micromoisture serum.”
Maybe he doesn’t do installations that are ecclesiastical, charitable or governmental?
When I was growing up in the 40s there was a health supplement called “Serutan” (Do they still sell it?) which was widely advertised on the radio with the slogan "Serutan…Remember, it’s “Natures” spelled backwards. Even as kids we said “So what?” And we used to go around saying things like “Eat Cherios, it’s Soirehc spelled backwards.”
My all-time favorite meaningless ad line was from a local AOR radio station. They had a fictional sponsor called Brute Force Cybernetics, whose slogan was, “We create a need. Then fill it.”
This is from so long ago I can’t remember the brand. But there was a tire commercial that said (and I swear this is true) “It’s metric so it holds more air.”
Say what???
It was still advertised on TV well into the 60’s with that slogan. It was a laxative. And even as an idiot kid (I was ten in 1960) I too found the phrase a bit silly. “Natures” spelled backwards?? WTF?"
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Allstate brags that they have accident forgiveness and that they send you a refund check each year if you don’t have an accident. Separately those would be good things for your customers but when you do both, it basically means you are precharging your customers for an accident and then giving them the money back if they don’t have one.
And so the lawyers can point to the text after the fact and say “We told you so–so it wasn’t OUR fault!”
Or run through a brush chipper…
Suppose you have a no-leak warranty on a coffin/casket.
Does anyone ever collect if the thing springs a leak?
Good question. Locally, there are actually a couple of cemeteries being relocated. I assume that if any of the families bought such a warranty (and the warranty company is still in business) that they could now collect.
Any ad where the advertiser claims to “care about you”.
I understand that organic is a method of cultivation, but we amuse ourselves by adding after commercials that flaunt their “organicness” by saying, “So is arsenic! So is dogshit!” 
Those are good examples of the cosmetic industry idiocy.
They missed a beat - the last line should have been, “Whether you want us to or not.”
Actually, arsenic isn’t organic. Cyanide, strychnine, and curare are, though; you might want to use one of them instead.
I remember a genuine ad for Diet Coke, and I’ve googled it and searched on youtube with no luck. Maybe someone else remembers this, or can find it.
The line in question is a male yuppie type who tries to convince us to try Diet Coke because, “It’s conducive to my own personal lifestyle!”
It does in drug books. I’m thinking the reason it’s not mentioned in the ad is because it’s OTC, so it doesn’t have to be mentioned at all. OTC advertising and Rx advertising have different FDA rules about what they need to reveal in advertising, like side effects and proposed or actual mechanism of action.
I’m trying to catch up on threads (been out of town w/no internet for almost a week), so I’m not going to take the time to look it up at the moment, but I would not be at all surprised if 1 and 2 were true of Tylenol (and ibuprofen and naproxen sodium). Docs routinely recommend trying one of the three and switching if you don’t find adequate relief. No one really knows why, but some people are “Tylenol” people and some are “ibuprofen” people. Me, I’m a naproxen gal; Tylenol and ibuprofen at OTC doses just don’t do it for me.
And, of course, 3 is true of OTC pain meds, too, if you include stomach upset and gastric erosion as “increased pain”. They may not make your headache worse, but they may give you a nice ulcerated stomach to go with your headache!
Okay, new one that’s been driving me nuts. It’s for some cereal bar or something with whole grain in it. It features some dipshit throwing her clothes into a charity bin because she’s lost enough weight that she can’t fit them anymore. When asked how she lost the weight, she comments that she’s eating these cereal bars, or whatever they are.
The announcer comes on and says something along the lines of “People who choose to eat whole grains tend to weigh less than those who don’t.” Oh god…
I’ve been puzzled about a restaurant ad on the radio this week. They are talking about ribs, and how slow-cooked they are, and then mention the price of a half rack, and then a full rack. And then, the disclaimer comes on “Price is for dine-in or take-out only.”
What other option is there? Am I missing something? 
Delivery?
By golly, you’re probably correct. Although it’s a restaurant and not a pizza-type joint.