Kramer: “Well, I’ve got gonorrhea.”
Elaine: “That seems about right.”
"You call that “the tractor story?”
SERENITY NOW!
Vile weed!
Elaine: It had no face, no personality!
See if you can place this line from Elaine, it’s one of my favorites. Especially her delivery:
“Oh, it be.”
Because of that episode, I’ll always know that Myanmar was Burma.
Probably my favorite exchange :
ELAINE: Andrea Doria? Isn’t that the one they did the song about?
JERRY: Edmund Fitzgerald.
ELIANE: I love Edmund Fitzgerald’s voice.
JERRY: Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
ELAINE: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
JERRY: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.
KRAMER: The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 21 miles off the coast of Nantucket.
GEORGE: How do you know?
KRAMER: it’s in my book - “Astonishing Tales of the Sea” 51 people died.
GEORGE: 51 people?! That’s it?! I thought it was, like, a thousand!
KRAMER: There were 1,650 survivors.
GEORGE: That’s no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book?
KRAMER: Oh yeah. I also got “Astounding Bear Attacks”
Jerry-I lost my keys.
george-what do they look like?
Jerry-they look like keys, they look exactly like keys! …what do they look like…
Yeah, I stole ‘em right off your stinkin’ feet.
Why’d you tell her?!!
That would follow Jerry’s lilne “How can it be?”
I love the whole “It. Out” exchange. Especially Elaine cleaning her glasses.
George: “Will I see you again?” (YouTube, 41 sec).
The thing that always cracks me up about this scene is that while George and the Bubble Boy are arguing about “Moors” vs “Moops”, Susan is looking through the game rules, as if there might be a rule in there about what to do if an answer has a typo.
Another George & Susan scene that always makes me laugh is when George starts smoking in an effort to get Susan to break up with him. The way he can barely cough out lines like “I’m hooked” and “Well I can’t stop now!” is just hilarious.
The Library cop!
“The sea was angry that day, my friends: like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.”
“I choose not to run!”
Classic. I love how you can see Jerry struggling not to crack up in that scene.
The one that always cracks me up.
George: Shrinkage! SHRINKAGE!!!
Speaking of holding in laughter, It seems to me that George was struggling when Jerry said “Because they like to say salsa.”
In each case, they were supposed to find what the other person said funny. Maybe that makes it even harder to lose control completely. With Jerry, though, Bookman wasn’t supposed to be trying to be funny, and was clearly a buffoon.
Of course, the greatest number of out-takes had to be with Elaine struggling not to crack up as George’s father challenged with "You want a piece of me?"
The mock disdain in his delivery makes it perfect.
For me:
“It didn’t take.”
George, upon finding out that Jerry’s girlfriend is “into it” (menage a trois)
This is like discovering plutonium on accident!
And of course Kramer’s “I’m out there Jerry, and I’m lovin’ every minute of it” (complete with eye rolls)
The outtakes of this were great but I can’t find them on youtube. Jerry would take one look at Kramer’s brown teeth and crack up. Richards never seemed to break character, though.
The Pony Remark cracks me up, always. The gist:
HELEN: I hear the fella owns a couple of racehorses. You know, trotters, like at Yonkers.
JERRY: Horses. They’re like big riding dogs.
ELAINE: What about ponies? What kind of abnormal animal is that? And those kids who had their own ponies…
JERRY: I know, I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up.
MANYA: …I had a pony.
(The room is dead quiet)
JERRY: …Well, I didn’t really mean a pony, per se.
MANYA: (Angry) When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony, …So, what’s wrong with that?
JERRY: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just merely expressing.