As I live in an inconvenient timezone and I’m rarely home during the day anymore, I don’t get to see these as often as I’d like.
I think my favourite was from around five years ago: the ESPN staff were talking about a “Big Brother” program they were involved in with disadadvantaged children. Over audio of them talking about how great it was to be involved in the local community, giving something back to society, helping kids learn valuable lessons, there was footage of them playing basketball against young kids, with the old guys taking it way too seriously: cheating, fouling the kids, trash-talking them etc etc.
A vague recollection of the “This is Sportcenter…” promos, from several years ago:
The ESPN studios are under attack, camera has a bunch of rapid cuts of hectic action and flashing red lights. Camera breifly holds on a bat-wielding Mark McGwire, wearing a maniacal look, preparing for the assault. The last shot shows one of the geekier Sportscenter readers (whose name escapes me), wearing his tie as a warrior headband and shouting “Follow me…to Freedom!”
There were a number of good ones in that series, that one stuck in my mind because it was so weird.
I remember that one; it was bizarre in a Terry Gilliam kind of way. I think my favorite was the Dan Patrick/Mark McGwire one:
Dan and Mark are talking. Mark gives Dan the ball with which he hit his record-breaking home run (this was before Bonds broke his record, I think).
Mark: Dan, You’ve been such a great guy, I’d like you to have this.
Dan (choking up): Why, Mark… I don’t know what to say! I’m overwhelmed! I’ll treasure this forever!
Cut to the next morning. Dan Patrick pulls into his parking spot at the office in a Lamborghini or a Ferrari or something. The license plate says, “HOMER.”
I popped in to mention the Y2K one. That’s No. 1 in my book.
Other favorites include, putting down natural grass in the office after a rash of knee injuries, the Star Wars one (R2 as Sportscenter co-anchor playing the Leia hologram), and the young phenom anchor who just wasn’t ready for the big leagues.
Oh, yeah, that one was classic. Another favorite of mine featured Charlie Steiner, after he’d talked some smack about Evander Holyfield, and the end of the ad showed Charlie hiding under a desk, while Holyfield was walking around the studio yelling “Charlie! Come on out and get your whuppin’!”
Trey Wingo and an althete (can’t remember which one) are sitting in Trey’s cubicle. The jock is laughing and keeps laughing for about 10 seconds before saying though laughs, “No, really. What’s your name?”
“Trey Wingo,” says Trey. Laughter continues.
Its’ definately a “you have to watch it” commerical.
I also enjoy the one where one of the Sportcenter anchors is working late at night when the lights start to flicker, then go out. The anchor walks down to the basement, opens a door, and there’s Lance Armstrong about to get off a stationary bike.
“Oh, sorry,” says Lance. “I thought everyone was done.” He then starts pedaling again and the lights come back on.
I like the new one with the Nathan’s hot dog eating champ. The scene is the ESPN cafeteria and one of the anchors is sitting there having a leisurely lunch while reading the paper. The kid comes along, politely nods as he puts down his tray, then sits down and scarfs down a hotdog in about 8 seconds. He gets up, nods politely again, and walks off camera.
I enjoyed the one (forget the actual premise) where a bunch of ESPN execs and anchors are sitting around a large table… one suit walks in with Roger Clemens, saying to the group, “so Bob here doesn’t think Clemens can still throw 90mph?” Clemens picks up the guy and chucks him out of the window, another guy holding up a radar gun, showing 95mph…
The ESPN entry in the corporate basketball league had players like Pooh Richardson and Cherokee Parks pounding the snot out of regular joes.
The Sportscenter benefit song to raise awareness of traveling in the NBA was great. “Big men, you know who you aaaaare” “Don’t walk!”.
Charley Steiner getting traded to the cast of Melrose Place for Andrew Shue. Shue comes in and does a first rate job while Charley meets Heather Locklear. “I’m Bill, the new poool boy. Want to put sunscreen on my back?”
“2 words, pizza delivery.”
“That must be a homer, Simpson because the pitcher just went D’oh.” “That blows”.
There’s also one with Dan Patrick in a towel in the locker room and he is nothing but attitude. Something like, “I do it for the fans. That’s what I tell you guys.”
A recent one I thought was hilarious involved SportCenter anchors getting to the desk and seeing two Jets fans sitting in the seats, eating hotdogs and popcorn. The anchors say “That’s our seats”. The fans are defiant for a second, but then leave saying “Well if you want to be jerks about it”!
