I’ve always liked this one:
“He lost a few tiles on re-entry.”
A bit less humorous since the Columbia disaster, unfortunately.
Here’s one I came up with on my own:
“He went out to lunch and stayed for Happy Hour.”
Feel free to spread this one around.
Somebody shot him with their phaser set to “stupid”.
–HIJACK–
One of the most popular events at Mensa gatherings is “Dumb things smart people do,” at which people stand up and tell how they’ve outwitted themselves by overthinking problems and thereby maiming, destroying, and otherwise contraindicating their IQ.
My personal favorite is the Mensa lady who went to a picnic and took a six-pack of soda. It didn’t all get consumed, and in fact got quite muddy at the picnic site. Instead of rinsing the cans off in the kitchen sink like most of us would have done before replacing them in the refrigerator, she thought she’d take the easy way – the Mensa way – and put them in the dishwasher. Easy! Smart!
So she sat down in the other room to read some nuclear physics, and BANG! a can exploded. She rushed back into the kitchen. Dare she open the dishwasher? No! Another might blow! And it did! Bang! She turned off the switch, but had no option but to wait until the whole thing cooled down before she could retrieve the cans. At least they were clean.
This one made me laugh myself sick. *I know what you’re thinking, punk. Did I load four cans of root beer, or only three? * She wasn’t the sharpest spork at the picnic.
Weird Al’s “Genius in France” has a few good ones. A sampling:
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
A few buttons missing on my remote control
I couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
I’m not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
The room temperature’s higher than my IQ
I’m not even welcome at the Star Trek convention
Hey, now! The Trekker stereotype is that they’re social misfits/losers/nerds, not that they’re dumb.
I just thought I’d say that reading a post about what is popular in India, from a user named indian, with a location in Mumbai, India (on a board where so many omit their location or plug it in with a joke), tickled me in pretty much the same way as when I found out that a man named Wolfgang Wolf was the coach of a football club in Wolfburg, Germany (for a while, anyway).
Yeah, I like that one.
Ah and the classic: “he couldn’t organise a root in a brothel with $100 in his hand”
His IQ doesn’t quite reach room temperature.
She’s two jurors short of a verdict.
When God gave out brains, he was polite enough to hold the door for everybody.
What does it mean to “organise a root”?
root is an Aussie-ism for fuck, sex, intercourse etc. Therefore, for one to have $100 in his hand whilst standing in a house of ill repute and still being unable to organise paid intercourse means … "well, you’re really fucking hopeless!"
Ah, I see. Thanks. In the U.S., “root” (depending upon context) usually either means to cheer for a sports team, to dig around to find something, or (less common) slang for the penis.
Half bubble off plumb