I used to have a poster that said, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no class.”
And a piece of advice my dad gave me: Don’t get into an asshole contest with a professional.
I once saw a button that said, “I cried because I had no shoes, and then I met someone with no taste.”
Friends do not let friends drive drunk.
More recently, Dean Sluyter in his book Natural Meditation: A Guide to Effortless Meditative Practice said:
I don’t know the origin of this one, but I learned it from a former boss, and then passed it on to others that worked for or with me:
“It’s easier to apologize than to get permission.”
I use that advice whenever a job that I really know needs to get done can come into potential conflict with someone else’s turf. If something is that important, just do it, and then apologize if necessary.
Also, this advice was given to me by the best boss I’ve ever had: I was struggling with a project at work and was becoming frustrated and disheartened. I was starting to doubt that a particular task might not be possible. He told me “The only people who never fail are those who never try.” And I just thought of another way of putting it: “The road to success is paved with failure.” It enabled me to move ahead, and finally make a cognitive breakthrough that allowed me to actually succeed.
From my Dad - Better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
From dog training. Don’t pick a fight with a dog that loves to fight.
“Life is like baseball. Seventy percent of the time you are going to fail. Keep that up, and you wind up in the Hall of Fame.” ~~Mike Barnicle, paraphrasing Ted Williams.
Reminds me of:
“Church is like baseball, many attend, few understand!”
One a friend of mine told me (he may or may not have invented it; I don’t know, and make no claim):
“It is easier to knock someone off of their pedestal when they’re leaning back, laughing at you.”
Advice from my father:
“Either listen to the whole conversation, or stay the fuck out of it.”
I picked this up in boot camp many years ago: never stand up when you can sit; never sit when you can lie down and never stay awake when you can sleep.
“A little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing.” I heard this said many years
ago by someone who was asked why he took the trouble to pick a penny up off the
ground.
“If people would just leave each other alone half the world’s troubles would
disappear.” Saw this attributed to Abe Lincoln but don’t know if he actually
said that. I’ve never been able to find it anywhere on the 'net.
A couple more:
When I was a kid some old guy gave me the following advice: “Son, what
ever you do, don’t get old!” I regret to say that I did not follow his advice.
“Never stick your elbow in your ear.” While I never tried it I didn’t understand
this advice until I was nearly fifty. Felt like an idiot when I finally got it.
Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Then you’ll be a mile from him, and have his shoes.
You’d be amazed at what you can do if you don’t think about doing it.
Everybody’s life has problems all the time.
You don’t have to live a life. You have to live today.
One day as I cashiered, several problems came up at once, and it seemed like there was nobody around who could deal with them. When things finally quieted down, my next customer said “It seems like you are having a bad day.”
I replied, without thinking about it: No, I had some bad moments. But bad moments do not make a bad day.
She repeated what I had said, was quiet for a minute, and then said “That is so wise. I am going to use that line.”
It’s true. A bad moment does not make a whole day bad.
“On the last day of your life, you will look around and ask, ‘why did I take so many days like this one for granted?’”
I have three:
1.Resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.
- Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be any different.
and my sig…
A lack of planning on your part, DOES NOT constitute an emergency on my part
Murphy’s statement on the power of negative thinking; it is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised
The art of Accurate Observation is often called “Cynicism” by those who do not possess it
From Looking Out For #1 by Robert Ringer: The Iceball Theorem: One hundred million years from now, when the Sun is burned out and the Earth is a frozen ice ball, none of this will matter.
Or, as Walt Kelly of Pogo fame put it: Don’t take life so serious, son – it ain’t no how permanent.
From House of God, by Dr. Samuel Shem (an excellent book).
Life is like a penis; when it’s soft you can’t beat it. When it’s hard, you get screwed.