I copied and pasted today on FaceBook. If you are NOT in the 3-7% of those who practice slacktivism, what are some of your favorite “copy & paste” posts? Here are a few of mine:
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[li]Please copy & paste this to your status if you are constantly being asked to copy & paste something to your status by friends who copy & paste things to their status. Many people won’t copy & paste this but my true sarcastic friends will copy & paste it because they know this was copied & pasted from a dear friend in need of more stuff to copy & paste. Thank you! Please don’t forget the heart… [/li][li]BREAKING NEWS: The Pity Train has derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Heck Over It. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waaa. If you don’t like this …suck it up cupcake, Life doesn’t revolve around YOU!!! [/li][li]Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone that may know someone who knows anyone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone who doesn’t know anyone that doesn’t know someone, then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message. Oh, and the hearts. For crap’s sake, don’t forget the hearts. … [/li][li]Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone who doesn’t know anyone, then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message even if no-one knows anything about anyone and it won’t make any difference to anything whatsoever. Oh, and the hearts. For Pete’s sake, don’t forget the hearts.!!! [/li][li]URGENT WARNING! Facebook now automatically scans your brain through your monitor. To block, go to kitchen, get aluminum foil, and wrap it around your head. Stay calm, and breathe through your left nostril ONLY. This is a serious problem and has been confirmed by a friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s neighbor’s son’s baby’s mama and her pet chihuahua. Copy and paste as your status to SAVE YOUR FRIENDS! [/li][li]PLEASE put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn’t know, they can breathe fire. 93% of people won’t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers, and the remaining 1% are awesome and will repost.[/li][/ul]
Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a kick up the arse. People who need a kick up the arse affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who requires a kick up the arse, except a kick up the arse, but with your help we can raise awareness.
That hobbit you just called fat? He’s skipping 2nd breakfast. The dwarf woman you called ugly? She spends hours braiding her beard so you can differentiate her from a dwarf man. The Uruk-Hai you just killed? He’s been abused by Saruman. See that Gollum creature with the gangly limbs & large eyes? For 500 years the Ring poisoned his mind. The Elf you just made fun of for crying? She just lost her wizard friend to a Balrog. Repost this if you’re against bullying in Middle-Earth.
Side rant: What’s with that all-caps one with a black man being told “colored” people aren’t allowed in a restaurant, and him enumerating the ways that white people’s skin changes color while his doesn’t (noticeably)? Do black people honestly get called “colored people” by anyone in the US under the age of 80? Did a “hand-copy this and pass around” note from the 1950s slip through a time warp?
Now you made me think. I did read the Wilt series (Tom Sharpe) but if you discount reference books I haven’t read much of anything written since 1940. I have lost any credibility.
(And you are welcome to stay on my lawn. you may squash the burs )
I’ve done this one, but with more hearts, because, ya know, more hearts means I care more than you. Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone who doesn’t know anyone, then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message even if no one knows anything about anyone and it won’t make any difference to anything whatsoever. Oh, and the hearts. For Pete’s sake, don’t forget the hearts!!!
I usually just skip on past all those “Copy this to your status” things, but the one that bugs me, for no real reason, are the ones that ask you to C&P it to your status for one hour. Really? You think I want to put something up as my status and then have to remember to go back and remove it? And what’s the point of posting something for an hour?
And don’t forget (for Pete’s sake don’t forget!) the “I’ll be watching to see who does” part. FaceBook did start out as a college thing, correct? Perhaps the old competitive spirit is still hanging around.
Please copy & paste this to your status in support of [insert cause here] because, with the singular exception of doing absolutely nothing, it’s literally the very least you could do, and we must all at least outwardly appear to care about [insert cause here] lest we be publicly shamed by everyone else on Facebook who’s also not actually doing anything to help with [insert cause here], aside from this pointless, self-serving, completely empty gesture. And don’t forget the hearts.
A few weeks ago I ranted about this on my Facebook and said that if any of my ‘friends’ posted any more Slacktivist posts, I’m deleting them. I think I lost one friend and I haven’t seen any of these posts since. Either people have stopped lately, or they’re blocking me when they do post them, which is fine with me!
What a coincidence - five minutes ago, I just posted this as my FB status:
It’s that last bit that really pisses me off - you’re going to try to guilt me into re-posting some badly spelled screed that looks written by a 12-year-old, that I don’t even agree with, by essentially double-dog-daring me? Well I triple-dog-dare you to eat a bag of ::checks forum I’m in:: donuts! Stale, old donuts.
[/li][li]BREAKING NEWS: The Pity Train has derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Heck Over It. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waaa. If you don’t like this …suck it up cupcake, Life doesn’t revolve around YOU!!! [/li][li]Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone that may know someone who knows anyone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone who doesn’t know anyone that doesn’t know someone, then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message. Oh, and the hearts. 
gets off your lawn