Should be clear enough. I’ll start in the next post.
As I am waiting in line to pick up my dog’s Prozac refill, there is a clearly deranged guy behind me pitifully mumbling to himself* in Spanish. I feel there’s some kind of healthcare inequity related symbolism being written here, but I can’t quite parse it.
*Actually it’s only an assumption he’s talking to himself. He might be talking to somebody who isn’t there. I can’t really tell since
1- I can’t speak Spanish
2- It’s rude to eavesdrop on somebody else’s conversation
“I wish people would stop commenting on vocal fry.”
I really do.
I like subdued Fry. (posted just for this joke).
Lately, I’ve found myself perusing my subscribed threads, and when I find something I wrote here that I found particularly amusing, I’ve just ported over to my Facebook.
I call it Recycled Wit.
My last two Facebook statuses are thisand this, pretty much verbatim.
Posted yesterday and not changed yet: “Half way to work, I realized I hadn’t shaved or brushed my teeth. Think I had a problem getting the kid around this morning?”
Comment added by me a few hours later: “Took a bit to manifest, but add deodorant to that list.”
If you had asked on Monday, it would have been: “Boy, does my butt hurt. Pretty tough weekend, apparently. Better take it easy for a couple days.”
“Neat geekery.” followed by a link.
I’m sure the fact that I’m exhausted and overslept has nothing to do with being awakened twice by wild barking during the witching hour…
I have a mama’s boy of a “puggle” who gets attention-whorey on evenings when my Scottish group meets and I come home smelling like another dog.
Responding to sugar craving with unlimited baby carrots.
“Habemus Papam.”
Haven’t changed my status since March 7:
Just posted: “And the winner of Catholicism’s Next Top Bishop challenge is …(drumroll)”
To which a friend responded: “ME!”
I liked and responded to him “New Pope [Friend’s Name] I shocks world by Okay-ing gay marriage, female clerics and birth control! And better yet marriage between gay female clerics who use birth control!”
The new pope is soon going to emerge.
He is from Argentina.
And he’ll be standing on a balcony.
Addressing a cheering mob.
And he’ll be wearing a gown.
Did I mention the Argentinian in a gown addressing a mob on a balcony party?
I think a song is in order. Maybe one where he tells his people not to weep for him.
“I know you’re all assuming I’m the new pope, but it’s spelled different.”
"I saw my book on the local library shelves for the very first time today. I swear I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon in the corner kvelling. This is one of the very best things that’s ever happened to me after my husband, our kids and the day I realized I wasn’t allergic to cats.
Oh such sublime happiness to see a glorious dream come true!"
From last week. I admit I’m still smiling when I think about it. My book on the local library shelves! Twirls around and around and around and lets dream I had as a little come out.
Tonight I really felt the passage of time. While I was at dinner, I noticed than an older man kept glancing at me as he ate. A few years ago I would have thought, “That old guy is checking me out!” But tonight I just wondered, "Did I go to school with him or something? "
Yay! Congrats! That is huge!
Hey Congrats! That must be awesome.
Mine’s been the same for a long time because I never think to change it.
“Alive…probably.”
"I just almost had to physically remove an AT&T U-verse salesman from my front doorstep.
Me: “I am tired of you guys coming around.”
Guy: “Really? When was the last person here?”
Me: “I don’t know, a couple of months, maybe? How often do you think you should go between visits? Because I’ll tell you, I have Internet and I have phone and I feel fully capable of finding out how to contact AT&T and get set up with U-verse and all of its MANY WONDERFUL FEATURES any time I like. Do you guys really think, gosh, maybe people JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO SIGN UP, so maybe we should stop by every couple of months or so in case they FORGOT HOW TO USE A PHONE? I am not interested. I am never interested. Don’t come here anymore. Tell whoever is in charge of you to stop sending you out here.”
Guy: “So what is it about AT&T U-Verse specifically that you’re not interested in?”
Me: “DOOR TO DOOR SALESMEN IS WHAT I’M NOT INTERESTED IN. LEAVE MY PROPERTY.”
Which he did. Don’t bother telling me to just not answer the door. I get packages a lot. Also don’t tell me that I shouldn’t engage these guys because I know. I am just going to lose my shit (I mean, more than it has clearly already been lost) if I get more more G-D pitch for AT&T freaking U-verse, which at this point I would not sign up for if it were the only cable package on the planet. God."
Photo of comet Pan Starrs