OK, this weekend I was at a party where I saw this amazing guy that I was completely into. One problem though, I’m shy as hell and didn’t dare making a move towards him. Stupid me, this is always the case, and I always think I’m an idiot afterwards. Even though I have the best intentions, I never have the nerve to go for it.
My friend on the other hand has no problem whatsoever walking up to a girl he fancies and starts chatting away. Now this might have something to do that it is OK for a guy to walk up to a girl, but not for me (a guy too) to walk up to another guy, but it must be more than that.
My mother is depressed quite often and quite badly, but she gets medicines to get over it. This fear for refusal must be a chemical in the brain as well that is more present in mine than in my friend’s. Any chemists out there that know of it and can tell me if this available in one form or another (preferably a pill ;))?
There’s quite a difference between depression and social anxiety. I don’t think it’s appropriate to assume they have similar causes and treatments.
Social anxieties can be controlled with medication, but is there any real reason to think that you have a disorder? Why can’t it be ordinary jitters? The same jitters that the rest of us underconfident, insecure wimps suffer from? To me, it just sounds like you beat yourself up over your shyness more than you should.
I know my message was a bit over the top. I didn’t really mean it that way though. What I meant that basically everything you do or feel is steered by some chemical process in you brain, right? I was just wondering what chemical would result in me being so overshy while my friend is just so secure that he walks up to anyone he likes and ‘do his thing’. I also wonder if it would be possible to remedy this underconfidence by means of medication (althoug I probably would never take it).
Also, on a side note, why is it that alcohol makes these shyness chemicals almost dormant, but make the I-want-to-make-a-fool-out-of-myself-chemical almost completely dominant?
Yes, sorta. I’ve forgotten a lot of my psychobiology, so I can’t talk about neurons and neurotransmitters and have it come out soundng making sense. But you can’t say that psychological disorders are the result of chemical processes, or that certain traits (in this case, shyness) are the result of chemical processes-- they’re a lot more complicated than that.
I doubt there’s a chemical that specifically makes one more or less shy. I think your friend is just not like you. He’s more aggressive and not shy at all when it comes to introducing himself to people; you are not so aggressive, and you are shy in those same situations. It’s just a matter of your two opposite personality traits.
One of the effects of alcohol is that it dulls your inhibitions. You become much more likely to dance topless atop tables, or to dangle yourself off a fifth story balcony. (Not that I’d know anything about those personally, mind you. 
) You become more ballsy, more likely to say all those suggestive things to that cute guy or girl.
Have we met by any chance? It sounds like you know me…
Well, maybe not a chemical, but basically everything you are is in your head (more specifically the brain. I’m not religious, so I don’t go for the ‘soul’ myself). So is ‘enzime’ a better word?
But personality is also just some neurotransmitters passing on enzimes to other neurotranceivers, isn’t it? (This is as far as my knowledge on the subject goes, so I can be completely of the mark). So, if it’s all in the head, there must be something in there that is making me do these things (or not do these thing is probably better). So, in stead of doing it the hard way like just go for it, can’t I just take the easy way out and get a shot?
What I am probably more getting at is that if feeling, behaviour, thought, etc. is all just some reaction in your head, than given enough research, we can probably say in the future ‘hey, I think I’d like to be Brad Pitt for today, let’s get a shot at the neurosurgeon’ and really be him. Or is this too inconceivable?
Well…
The brain is a chemical system. However, it’s a phenomenally complicated chemical system. It’s all too easy to over simplify it.
Imagine that Chemical X is found to have an effect on lowering social inhibition. You get yourself a bunch of Chem X pills and down one.
Imagine that social inhibition is actually moderated by a complex interaction between Chemical U, Chemical V, Chemical W, Chemical X, Chemical Y and Chemical Z. You’ve just thrown a load of chemical X into the system, and thrown the equilibrium right off kilter. The result that you get isn’t likely to be the one you’re looking for.
The problem is that the brain is so complicated that we’re nowhere near identifying all the relationships between the different neurotransmitters.
I would say that the complexity of the system makes it highly unlikely that we’ll ever have it completely mapped out and be able to moderate it with precision. That is just my opinion, and some neuroscientists may disagree.
Damn! And I thought I would finally get a chance for a date this weekend… A well, time to get intoxicated I think. 
Thanks guys.
God, then that makes me scared to think of the things you may know about me!
Your personality isn’t directly a funtion of your brain processes. Different personalities aren’t the result of different chemical processes. All brains work the same. What makes personalities different is simply that people are different.
(Sorry if that’s a little slim on detail; it’s 7:20 am and I’m kinda out of it…)
Yes.
I have seen on a couple of occasions an ad on TV for some sort of drug that would " treat " what you describe. I wish I could remember what they called it. The thing I found sort of sick about it was that a) it was on TV and b) they implied that unless you easily made friends and were " popular " there was something wrong with you that should be treated with drugs. Better living through chemistry! I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with you that isn’t wrong with almost everybody else.
There are a number of researchers (e.g., Jerome Kagan–a Harvard developmental psychologist) who believe that certain broad aspects of personality may have a genetic basis. Kagan believes that “shyness” may be one of these. He’s done a number of studies looking at children across different ages, and has generally found that if a child is cautious around others and slow to warm up as a baby, he/she is likely to be the same way years later.
Now, he specifically says that this isn’t written in stone. Different experiences or even a conscious decision on the individual’s part can go a long way towards changing behavior, but he does believe that there are some people who are just born less outgoing than others and vice versa.
Aghris, was the info you got after typing “anxiety” into the address bar, helpful?
We’ve had this discussion before, but there is a difference between shyness and a phobia about interacting with other people (social anxiety disorder, leading to social isolation) that keeps you from living life. When there is a chemical reason for it, an SSRI can help to allow people to have a more normal life. Being popular isn’t the goal; sometimes being abel to leave the house is.
Damn computer, crashed and lost my post…
I know what drug you’re talking about, and I’m beating my brains out trying to remember the name of it, too. Knowing me, it’ll pop into my head at 3am as I’m trying to fall asleep, and I’ll then be afraid to fall asleep lest I forget the name of the drug again. sigh
Anyway,… there are other problems with advertising medication like this. Some people will diagnose themselves based on the scant information given in the commercial. They’ll hear that disorder A has symptoms X, Y, and Z, and they’ll think, “Hot damn! That’s me!” It doesn’t help that those ads often say, “If this sounds like it’s happening to you…” or words to that effect. You can see how easily someone could convince themselves that they have a real psychological disorder, one that requires pharmaceuticals to control, so that they can once again lead “normal” lives.
Also, as in the case of ortho-trycyclin, the birth control pill that improves your skin (insert happy, fresh-faced model here for advertising purposes), people will try to medicate themselves. My prof discussed how many women will go to their doctors, asking specifically for ortho. They saw it in an ad on TV or in a magazine, and it appealed to them. The whole two birds, one stone thing. When they were told by their doctors that contraceptives cannot be prescribed like that, that they must find which type of contraceptive is right for them (and it probably won’t be ortho), a lot of these women declined the pill altogether, and had sex without ANY birth control at all.
In these examples, the person is at fault for believing what the ads told them and being ignorant about things, but you can see how the ads (which I think are unnecessary) share the blame as well.
Whoops, went off there a bit. Sorry for the hijack.