Well, Pluto says it all with “diffidence.”
It’s all about confidence. But confidence is relative. I believe confidence is inversely proportional to intelligence. The more you know, the more you fear, and more the less confident you are.
Of course, there are few who derive their confidence from the physical, i.e. “if I can’t win the argument, then I can always resort to physical force.” This is one aspect of confidence. Sometimes, I wish I was dumb enough to use it.
Another aspect of confidence is mental force, the ability to ridicule people with impunity. I was never a “smooth talker” and whenever I met up with someone who was, I could never seem to get a word in edgewise, so I would just disengage.
Most of my shyness is, I believe, the unwillingness to dispute. I, for some reason, can’t summon the energy to fight. But I do have the energy, I just don’t know what I’m saving it for.
This is well known in bars with the statement: “Don’t ever pick on the quiet guy.”
I do not like to be shy. I am always trying to improve myself. I often try to rid myself of my fears, but it is not easy.
Don’t get me wrong, I have the ability to exhibit extreme confidence. But it takes so much energy for me. I’ve bluffed my way through many tangles, although I was very scared. I envy people who make it seem so natural.