Are you shy?

Don’t be shy. Go ahead and vote.

Nope. I’m quiet, not shy. There is actually a difference.


I’m a little slow to start a conversation with someone I don’t know. But once the ice gets broken, I’ll talk their ear off.

Not shy.

Not and have my job, no.

To illustrate the difference, I am not quiet but am extremely shy. If this message board were an in-person conversation I would not talk to any of you, and would probably be hiding in a corner someplace.

Shyness does affect my online interactions too, but since y’all are not privy to my body language and such, it is much easier than “real life”. It takes me literally years to come forward; as an example, I have been lurking here (well not here exactly but since I have been able to lurk here) for years and years…since back when was the only forum and the creation of misc.facts.straight-dope (or something like that) was being debated and voted on…and I only just got the courage to start participating recently.

Oh wow, this poll surprises me. I don’t consider myself shy, but I thought that most people considered themselves shy even if they didn’t come across that way to other people.

Yes, I’m very shy, but very good at pretending I’m not.

Not so much shy as introverted in situations I find awkward. If I’m with people I know, I’m rather outgoing.

Overall, I’d have to say no.

I was shy until college. Joining a fraternity was a great move for me if for no other reason than because I learned to be much more comfortable talking to strangers. Between recruitment and socials you couldn’t help but learn how.

I’m a little shy, but no one who knows me would believe that. I’ve gotten moreso this way as I’ve gotten older. I don’t really understand why this is so.

Just a little bit. Mostly I’m pretty outgoing.

Pretty much my answer too. Just last night I was chatting up three strangers and mentioned that I was shy. They said there was no way, since I was pretty much the most social one in the conversation. I had to explain that I’ve been working really hard on overcoming it.

The reason I started the poll is that I’ve heard a lot of people say pretty much the same thing. It got me to wondering if everyone thinks they’re shy whether they are or not, kind of like everyone thinks that they have a great sense of humor and are of above average intelligence.

The funniest case is my father. He hates how shy he is and how he can’t just start conversations with strangers. My mother will no longer send him out to the store to get something as simple as a bag of ice. Invariably, somewhere between his car and the ice chest, he’ll strike up a conversation with strangers, talk their ears off, take them out for drinks and a round of golf, and arrive home six hours later – sans ice. My Mother accepts this as normal behavior for him.

Extremely. I am flat terrified of new people. But I don’t allow that to stop me from socializing. Most people are shocked if they find out.

But yeah, any day I don’t have to leave home or meet someone new is a good day. . . It’s hard to explain, because I really like people, I’d just prefer to keep them in small groups (even one-on-one) interactions, and strongly prefer the ones I already know.

I thought most people didn’t think of themselves as shy. Shows what I know, or I could just be caught in the Doperalternareality again.

When I was young they used to say I was “painfully shy”. I remember my sister talking to strangers and it terrifying me. I’d try to hide in Mother’s skirt.

I’ve learned how to be social, and can chat folks up with the best of them. I am still quite shy though.

TruCelt, I agree with you about the ‘good day’. I am most at ease when I’m alone.

I’m extremely, painfully shy. In real life as well as online. Pretty much any interaction makes me nervous.

(Here’s the point in the post where I pause and think that I should think better of posting this, but I continue on and admit more.)

In fact, I am going to have to force myself to click “submit” - normally I just type up a post, then I say, “Hmm, that sounds dumb! I should not post.”

I’ll be posting soon, after another minute or two of deliberating on whether or not I should post this.

deliberate, ponder


I’m not quiet OR shy.

I used to be, though. I got over it by pretending I wasn’t shy. Weirdly, it worked.

I also have a great sense of humour and above average intelligence. :slight_smile:

ETA: I forgot my modesty. I have lots of modesty.

How does one learn this? I am shy, and I accept that but would like to overcome it, as it does create some problems in my life. For example I will wait for my husband to come home to make phone calls for me- even to schedule doctor’s appointments and what-not so that I do not have to talk to “strangers”.

Oddly, I have no problems doing this for my children, or talking to people on their behalf or talking to people in service jobs, and to a lesser extent talking to people necessary to do my own job back when I had one (and that did involve lots of new people on a daily bases, none of whom would have guessed I am as shy as I am). But being social, chatting, etc. is beyond me.

I have lived in my current location for 3 years or so (and I moved to this state not knowing a soul) and I have not made a single friend (outside of the parents of my children’s friends) or met any of my neighbors (except for one who is what I call “aggressively friendly”) and I have no idea how to do those things or even how to chat with someone in a social situation (which I avoid).