Fedex can kiss my hairy yellow butt

All the sending people have to do is check a box on the form to waive signature. My mom has this problem with a company who sends a lot of work to her (she does transcription at home) because they forget to do that about half the time, and when they DO forget, we’re invariably out on an errand or something.

Now UPS is the spawn of the Devil. You can’t even CALL them to find out WHERE your package is, and it wouldn’t do you any good because they close at something like 4 PM anyway…

Peter: Like you, missing the same package more than once would irritate me very much. I wish I was your driver, as you and I would have a great working relationship once you complained to my boss and I understood the problem. Your packages would be discreetly delivered to your backdoor, or garage, or whatever you and I agreed on. Hopefully your driver will do this after he hears that there is a problem.

Scout1222: Sometimes, the really cool packages just have to go home with me. Sorry.

Harmonix: If there was a package that was for sure at our terminal, and didn’t get loaded on the delivery truck in the morning (honestly, that is very hard to do, as they only travel about 150 feet from semi-trailer to delivery vehicle), and IF you called our terminal inquiring about it, then yes, we would get it to you somehow. Obviously, we couldn’t do anything for you in California if the package is still loading in, say, Kansas City.

Thunder: Ground drivers, as well as the new Home Delivery drivers, are contractors. We own our own vehicles, pay for fuel, maintenance, etc.

Stuffy: I read your post. Yikes.

When you get a large collective of people anywhere, such as thousands of Fed Ex employees, you will invariably have a few halfwits. You’ve met two of them already, and I’m sorry.

Others: Thanks for the warm welcome. It’s all downhill from here.

Wow, Fedex drivers are hot? That’s cool. Never noticed.

I know our UPS guy is crabby, though; I noticed that! :eek:

Oh, please, Creaky!

Of course, I may just be biased, since it isn’t often that a man rings my doorbell and offers me his package.


I’m gonna add my 2 cents here - but it’s about DHL.

My company paid $8.88 to “overnight” an envelope from here to a small town outside of Knoxville, TN, on a Friday. Now, we understand that sometimes a rural address takes an extra day. The guy got it on WEDNESDAY from his USPS MAIL MAN!!!

Apparently, the DHL facility in Knoxville uses Mail Boxes Etc. as a “courier” for deliveries that are “out of thier area,” and once MBE has it, they have total discretion as to how to get it there. Including PUTTING A FUCKING 60 CENT STAMP ON IT AND PUTTING IT IN THE MAIL WHICH WE COULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! And, it would’ve gotten there faster.

And there are days (usually Saturdays) when my mailman doesn’t even come to my house!!!

What does DHL mean?

There’s probably a pretty funny joke in there, Opal!

See, I’m annoyed with FedEx right now for the exact opposite reason as you. They left my newly repaired Sony Playstation 2 on my porch, in a gigantic apartment community where absolutely any yahoo can come right up and take it home. What’s even more infuriating is that we have an office, which, funny thing this, is where UPS drops packages when the recipients aren’t home. Then they can easily go collect it at the end of the day, they don’t have to drive out to the middle of nowhere, their possessions are safe, the delivery is made, everyone’s happy as a pig in shit.

So I’m curious Tragically Dip: I mean, I know that the FedEx guy couldn’t have possibly known what was inside, but still, is it customary for a FedEx employee to drop off a package outside an apartment in the middle of a complex with probably 300 units, in full view, with no note and no authorization to do so? I’m not trying to be snarky, I’m honestly curious, because luckily nothing happened to it, but I’m still thinking of raising a little ruckus. I saved up for that damn thing for months!

“…hairy yellow butt?” Springfield is really part of Quahog, RI?

scout, seriously, I never noticed, except for the UPS Crabby Guy.

Anyhow, I got a Fedex delivery today, as a matter of fact, so I really checked the guy out, and he was okay, I guess, but not hot (sigh!). He was a chubby dude with a crewcut. He was nice, though!!

And that was funny about “offers me his package”. That kind of humor is one of the many things I love about this place! :smiley:

Just for you, OpalCat:

From the DHL website.

Perhaps the smiley means that the preceding sentence was a joke, but either way, the customer is assuredly not always right. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want anything left on my doorstep. I live at the intersection of the busiest street in San Francisco and the approach to the Golden Gate Bridge. There’s people out there, and they ain’t all nice.

Bummer about the rest of the rant, though.

There have been a few instances where members of my family have gotten shipments from Airborne that were clearly marked with the day-glo “Signature Required” sticker, and it was left on our back door step.

I always suggested that we wait a few days, call the mail order company that it came from, and ask why we hadn’t gotten a package yet. They’d probably pull the tracking number and say it’d been delivered, to which the obvious reply is “Who signed for it then?”

Since no one in my family ever took me up on the suggestion, I’ve always wondered, what would happen next?

<slight hijack>
It took me a while, but I just figured out why this guy’s name sounded SO familiar… (and his yellow butt too)

Peter Griffin lives in Quahog , RI with his lovely wife Lois, children Chris, Meg and Stewie, and his dog Brian on the “miss” Fox show, The Family Guy . Although, I believe they are not yellow but more of a pinkish color.
<now back to our rant>

I have not been having luck with the USPS lately, as i find it takes them sweet almighty forever to dliver anything that has to go a distance. In October I had won at Ebay auctions from two guys in Great Britain. Those letters I sent them From Indiana, to Britain took five weeks to arrive, one turned up after he wrote me and said it must have gotten lost.

I heard from him two days later, after emails had been exchanged. Five weeks. I kind of think it would have been quicker for me to go over with it in a leaky boat.

My BIL sent oranges to his grandparents back in Indiana, via USPS Priority mail. Three weeks later, we got a boxtop, from his grandparents, USPS said it was “damaged in shipping” --but it had had a boxcutter or knife taken to it. I have a boxcutter and know what a cut made with it looks like. At least they gave the BIL back his money, but no apology was made.

I can answer that one!

Nothing happens!

You get a big “we’re sorry, but…”.

This happened to us once:

mom mailed a package via fed ex. we waited and waited and waited for it. Called Fed Ex.

“Says here that it was signed for”
by whom?
“uhhhh I can’t read it, sorry.”

So what happened is that they came up to our apartment and asked someone in the lobby if they were one of us. The person said yes and signed for it and took our box!
you’ll just get the big run around when the package disapears.

i honestly don’t know why they bother with signing for shipments. It’s always their word against yours any way. sigh

Um, can we please get a cite for the “hairy yellow butt”…

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

If somebody says their ass is hairy and yellow, I’ll be delighted to take that word on it. No further investigation needed. No cite required here.

Sure thing. It’s a quote from the Simpsons, episode 9F08, “Lisa’s First Word”. When Marge is pregnant with Lisa she reads some motherhood literature and tells Homer, “It says here that Bart might be jealous of [the new baby].” Homer answers with “Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.”

Always happy to enlighten the masses in the ways of America’s favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family.


Oooh, FedEx.

Yeah. I ordered some printer cartridges. Two weeks later, I hadn’t gotten them. Called the company. Company said they’d been delivered, and referred me to FedEx. Called FedEx. They said they had delivered the package on a particular date and time. I said, not they had not. The date was on a Monday, which my mother and I both had off at the time. I was, in fact, at home at the time that the package was allegedly delivered. There was no knock at the door, and no door hanger left on said door. I was informed that the package had been signed for by an E. Peebles. I had no idea who E. Peebles was. After I got off the phone, it occurred to me to call the apartment complex office. E. Peebles was a new employee. The FedEx guy had simply taken my package to the office without so much as attempting delivery to my apartment. The office had compounded the problem by not informing me that a package had been left at the office (they would hold them for a month, then send a nasty note to the tenant saying that if they didn’t come get their package pronto, it would be sent back, but that’s another rant.) The complex manager said that the FedEx driver who had that route was notorious for doing this, and there had been many complaints about him…

I called FedEx and told them their driver had dropped the package at the office without making any attempt to deliver it to my apartment. The customer non-service guy said, “I don’t know why he would do that. We’ll look into it.”

Gee, maybe it’s because the guy was lazy?