Okay, so today’s my boss’s birthday. He’s a great boss…best I’ve ever had. So I and the rest of the team decided we wanted to do a little something to recognize this on his birthday.
Last night after he left, we decorated his cube. Nothing outrageous: a small “Happy Birthday” banner, a few balloons, a tiny sprinkling of confetti. I confess I was the driving force behind this, mainly because I’m the “assistant” to the group, plus the only girl, so I guess I felt in was sort of my responsibility. But the others did pitch in a little.
This morning, my boss is obviously uncomfortable with the attention the banner is drawing. By 9:30 it was down, because “Everybody who was going to see it already had.”
I feel awful. I thought he would enjoy the attention and the inevitable ribbing he’d get from the rest of the office. He certainly gives-and-takes on a regular basis, normally. And I know he’s not sensitive about his age…he’s brought it up voluntarily on a number of different occasions. I guess he just doesn’t like being the center of attention.
Worst part is, I should have known better. I myself hate it when people make a fuss about these things for me. My own birthday is approaching shortly and I’m planning on keeping it secret if at all possible. So I should have respected that for him. I guess I just got carried away.
And now I’ve got to decide whether to go ahead with the cake we had planned for this afternoon after lunch. We weren’t going to have the whole plant over to sing Happy Birthday or anything, but now I’m wondering if even a private little cake-party back in the computer room for our group of 5 people would be over-stepping.
Gah. I hate this. I have a huge stone in the pit of my stomach, and feeling incredibly foolish and guilty. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad, but it appears I have.
Awwww don’t feel TOO bad. Everything was done with the best of intentions, right? It sounds like you’re pretty comfortable with and around your boss, so why not just pull him to the side and say “I apologize if my little celebration has made you uncomfortable; there’s a cake and stuff, but please let me know if you’d rather not deal with it – I completely understand.”
I’m sure he’d appreciate your consideration and you’d avoid any further second-guessing.
And there’s no way you should have known he wouldn’t like the attention. Just because you don’t doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t either. Some people actually love the attention. So it was certainly a nice gesture on your part.
And if he doesn’t want the cake, well, I’ll be a team player and choke down a piece or two…
I think your boss is a bit over sensitive, part of being a boss is that you are the center of attention for the people who work under you where work is concerned.
You have done nothing wrong, but as Quazzz says ask the boss if he would like the cake and stuff. If he doesn’t, then save the cake and have it with the same people on you Birthday! I know you don’t like the idea, but you also clearly want to make the buisness relationship within your group more ‘homely’ and that would be the way to start. If it works out on your Birthday then the Boss will likely be happy with the idea next year, if it falls flat on your birthday, then you wont feel you’ve spoilt someone elses day.
Be careful not to make the act of Birthday=Cake become an office rule though, that just doesn’t work.
An English office tradition, which works well, is that on your Birthday you are expected to bring a selection of cakes or similar food items to be shared by the people you work with. It works well, because it’s the person at the center of attention who is being generous. It makes it necessary to celibrate your birthday as to not do so makes you look cheap, and gives each person a way to show off their individuality in what food they bring (home made, foreign food, cream cakes, chocolate cakes,…).
Cheers, Bippy
He could just as easily been hurt if no one made a big deal over his birthday. You just never know with these things. It sounds like you were very thoughtful and sweet. I’m sure he knows that and isn’t angry at you.
Tell him to get over it and recognise that his staff obviously think a lot of him.
It could be worse, no-one could have mentioned it and I’m sure he would have felt worse.
Eat the cake without him and tell him to, as we say in OZ ‘Pull ya head in’!!
It’s Friday! Be happy! Let us know what happens.