So, I’m one of the lucky people who had a birthday w/i the last 30 days (hey, beats the dirt-nap alternative, right?). So, today is the day they have the communal celebration. They make people with birthdays wear funny cone hats and the entire office sings ‘Happy Birthday’ before they proceed to gobble down all of that cake.
But I never told anyone it was my birthday. Sure they had other people up there and the celebration went on, but I really felt skittish and snuck out before they even cut the cake (I always do). Its not like I’m allowed to eat cake (I’m really not supposed to have any). And its not like any of these people have any sincerety beyond the last piece of cake on the tray. Heck, if anyone was that close to me, they’d have known when my birthday was.
So why does it bother me so much? Why do I feel an uncomfortable anxiety for this social custom, this bakery welfare system?
I sympathize with you, Count Blucher. One of my co-workers wants to start up a birthday party thing and has in fact already had one - for our supervisor. I get additional “guilt trips” because as the officie administrative asst., I guess I’m expected to run things like this. I don’t have any problems with celebrating birthdays but there may be others in the office who don’t really want to do so; plus, if you do it for one (especially if that one is the boss!), you’ve got to do it for everyone, and if you skip someone accidentally, hurt feelings are certain. 
Last year, they tried a “birthday club” where those who wanted to participate kicked in $, then they were supposed to have one party every quarter (covering the birthdays in the quarter). Well, they had -one- party for the first quarter, then nothing. The person who was in charge left the agency and apparently no-one else wanted to take it over. laughs I don’t know what happened to the party committee; apparently none of them wanted to run things either. It’s all a can of peas, imho–certain people end up doing all the work and getting no credit and some who are uncomfortable with celebrating personal things are still made to feel uncomfortable or worse yet guilt tripped.
I don’t know if this is a viable option for you, but maybe you could suggest that it be handled like a club, where those who wanted to participate could contribute money and then they’d just have the parties, same as always. Of course, this would require that someone run the thing (hah, not me! LOL) and (probably more important) that the boss was okay with it. I hope that these parties aren’t considered “mandatory participation” for everyone in the office.
The same person in my office who wants to do birthdays also wants to organize pot-lucks; they’ve only had one so far, though.
Well, thats the kicker. They are paid for out of the office fund, so its not $$ out of any particular person’s pocket. Because of that, however, all the little elves are expected to show up, sing, dance, and wiggle their ears (even those who want to be Dentists). I feel like I have no ‘out’ re: this dog & pony show…
For the first few years at my work, everyone did the Birthday thing, and though I would attend others’ celebrations, I was resolute in not telling them it was mine. To throw off the badgering, I did make a simple promise. If you ask me (in person; not on the phone or via e-mail) whether it was my Birthday that day, I would give an honest answer. Predictably, the only time anyone would remember to ask was on someone else’ birthday, so I was always safe.
One year, our supervisor passed a calendar around and had everyone write in their birthday. I abstained, and when she noticed my name wasn’t there, she asked me for it. I asked if I could write in my wedding anniversary instead, since that’s a date that’s more important to me than my birthday, and if they insisted on celebrating something for me, I would rather it be that day. Predictable, she backed down.
When half my colleagues moved to another location (much farther away from us), I had mixed feelings. The birthdays were often the only time I actually had direct contact with them, so I did miss seeing them. But it also meant an end to the Fundatories. Whew!
I should also add that while we never had hats or music, almost all my colleagues were women, so the conversations always ended up being about cheese and candles and how cute the animal on the card is. Terrific ladies, but the mob mentality girlified them quite a bit, and I definitely felt more like an outsider then than at any other time I’d interact with them.
I’m the admin for my department and am in charge of scheduling the monthly birthday celebration. An email invite is sent out to everyone in the department (80+ employees) to let them know that for an hour on such and such a date cake and ice cream will be available. I also email the birthday honorees for that month and ask them what type of cake they would like. The first four to respond get their choice. When the day comes I put out 4 cakes and 4 gallons of ice cream.
I’ve been less than amused at how childish some of my fellow employees are. If the event is scheduled for 3:30 pm, they begin lining up at 3:15 pm offering to “help” me so they can be first in line. They make ridiculous messes and do not clean up after themselves. More times than not I end up scraping dried chocolate ice cream off of conference tables. Manners people! What really burns me are those who have the audacity to complain about the type of cake available. Yes, they complain (loudly) about free cake when it’s not their birthday. You would have thought I had presented them with dead kitten cakes the way they made poo faces when there was not a Red Velvet Cake one month.
I hate office birthday parties, mine or anyone else’s. The worst was when I was starting a long temping assignment (planned to run a month or so) and on the first day there was a birthday party for one of the regular employees. I had to join in the festivities and felt very stupid – but I had to grit my teeth and make nice because I knew I was going to be working with the same people for a month.
But if I was really being pestered to reveal my birthday so that the office could celebrate it, I would give up the date after a modest effort to hold out. Too much protest, and the effect is exactly the opposite of what I want, which is to not be the center of attention.
I will admit though, that I organized a birthday party for a friend at the office last year, because I knew it would mean a lot to her.
What ticks me off is that a list with everyones birthday is sent out to our building. (day/month only, year of birth isn’t shown) I’ve asked for there to not be anything done for mine, but no one will freaking listen to me.