A Note To Liberal:
That attack on Eddy was completely overboard and damned near obscene both in how personal and how vicious and how damned near unhinged it was.
If you ever plan on being in Alabama the drinks are on me! 
I’m hoping to opt for the “hoodie” style myself.
It’s not angst that made me post about you to this thread, alice. It was a negative reaction to hypocrisy. I felt it ought to be noted, considering that Lissa is obviously feeling angst about things you said to her, and a contrasting opinion should be offered. You’re really not one to talk, is the bottom line.
I thought it was very nice of you to wish me well in my engagement. I certainly don’t wish you ill; I do wish you’d recognize that you should look not to the mote in Lissa’s eye until you look to the beam in your own. I’m glad that you realize this. That’s all I wanted to get across-- the irony. You recognize it. Cool.
wring: Take alice up on her offer to me and Ignore us both. Or go fuck yourself, whichever is easier. 
Ruby I get that you want to support yourfriend. goodfor you.
but this back and forth between you and alice ,make both of you look like idiots. you, like ** Lessa** are free to ignore advice suggesting you may be less than perfect.
but really, this latest exchange between you and alice is one of the more pathetic I’ve ever seen. and I’ve been around for years.
in any event, everyone is free to change, or not, read or not read.
My contribution to this proto-trainwreck:
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I never knew of the existence of the “other place” until this thread and I’m frightened by the concept because it makes me think of scary basements where monsters live and parallel universes. Sounds like something that Stephen King would be writing about. Or M. Night Shalaman.
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I like Lissa, but I think some good points have been made in this thread. Personally, the only thing that bothers me is “hubby” but I admit that is a petty complaint. So petty that I probably shouldn’t even be bringing it up, but I dunno. Some things can’t be said enough and I guess that’s one of them. “Hubby” grates.
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I’m enjoying the fight between Rubystreak and alice a little bit too much.
hijack/
I don’t get the ignore function. Oh, sure I get the tech part of it, but I can’t understand why some people are so sensitive that they need to ignore some other poster, because their delicate sensibilities will be offended. Sure there are assholes on this board, I can be one of them (Well, maybe if I’d just try a little harder I could be one when I grow up.) Just skim or don’t read 'em. There have been posters that have made me pissed, but I wouldn’t want to ignore them forever, a stopped clock and all that. It just seems childish, or a sign of the inability to deal with others.
/hijack over
I’m ashamed to say that, as a Southerner, I’ve never been to Alabama. (…thinking a moment… …have I?.. …no…) But it is must-do, and at some point, hopefully we will. We’ll give you a heads up. 
Then you probably wouldn’t find the “other place” so frightening after all. Although alice and Rubystreak are a lot more articulate than what you’d find over there, the maturity level (as demonstrated by their exchange in this thread) is about the same.
Oh, and Lissa, you’re OK with me, mostly, but I agree you should learn to speak with less “authority” about things you are not an authority on.
How could “Hubby” bother me, when I refer to mine as “Mr. Cee.?”
I should, with sincere and deserved apologies to Eddie, elaborate to say that this offer of The Diplomacy of Bibulation is not in any way because I feel the attack was deserved or merited- I haven’t read enough of the thread to choose sides- but strictly as a salute from “One Doper With A History of Personal, Vicious and Unhinged meltdowns [due in large part to “The Other Site”] to another” (or in the Pattonian sense, “From one son-of-a-bitch to a nother, skoal!”).
Eeeeewww, now I’ve got cooooooooties.
I really don’t have a problem with you, I was just looking for examples for a trio of complaints. 'Cuz I like things that come in threes.
I do find the guys that demand pics in boobie threads ruthlessly annoying, though.
You’re right, of course.
I appologize to everyone. It’s about time that I take my own advice.
Yeah, me too. Hopefully, the old bastard can take a mild and friendly ribbing.
Yeah, it did get a bit stupid there. This is the Pit, though, and this is where immature animosity gets vented. Better to do it here than hijack some other thread, as alice and I have done before. AFAIC, there’s a cease-fire between me and alice, and I’ve said all I have to say.
I do feel bad for Lissa here, though. Sure, she has her annoying quirks, but who doesn’t? Certainly many, if not most of the posters getting on her for her “tone” and perseveration on a few topics have similar issues. Her treatment in this thread just strikes me as kind of an overreaction. She obviously feels bad about the whole thing and I wanted her to know that there is a different perspective on this. Turned into a derailment a bit, though, which I apologize for.
Contrariwise, Lissa did open this thread, so I guess she shouldn’t expect otherwise. That’s the way the Pit tends to go…
Ooooh-do they come in baby tee-style?
“A mild and friendly ribbing”? Jesus. :rolleyes:
I rarely get involved in ‘personality’ threads but I’ll chuck out my $.02 this time because I’m surprised at the mystery really. This is the Dope, it’s very predictable in these matters.
I’ve been aware of Lissa for a while and my take on her is pretty much what’s being debated though it doesn’t bother me. Her “hubby” comments do make me think of plush animals on the bed. I understand that she has her pride in her husband but her ‘it’s right because hubby says so’ attitute does wear a bit thin sometimes. Again, meh.
What this place doesn’t suffer well is pity. People here also have long memories. My suggestion to you ** Lissa** (since you’ve called this meeting) is to take some of these comments to heart and carry on. I’ve seen similar situations many times in the past. You will never change minds by argument, actions are your best course.
I think the issue is, indeed, tone, and people’s long memories.
In a thread I read earlier, you mentioned that you didn’t have time to write the tome it would take to make your reader understand all the issues involved (I paraphrase, but you get the gist). That’s the same authoritativeness creeping in there. I am sure you meant it as an apology for oversimplifying, but it came across (at least to me) as carrying that all-too-typical whiff of arrogance.
I think you’re proud of your husband, and that’s great. And it’s neat that he works in a field that a lot of people know little about (save what they see in fictional movies). That’s why a lot of your contributions, especially when they are taken together with others who work in corrections, can be useful.
But how you impart that knowledge, and how you handle questions and differences of opinion, make a big impact on how much people will respect your contributions and find them credible.
I say this as someone who would probably have the same problem as you (likely worse)–the only thing that saves me is that no one gives a rat’s ass about the things I have much knowledge of.
By god, get me a thread about predicting freshman yield at elite public universities and I will lord it over ALL OF YOU.
Ok, but if you ladies post things like “my boobs are the best evar, so big and firm” you have to expect some dude posting “cite?” 
Well, yeh, but that’s only because the rest of us would have nodded off and fallen face down, snoring, on our keyboards before we got halfway through your exegesis on such a thrilling topic.
Seriously, we all here have some expertise to offer. What we have to keep in mind – or I try to, anyway – is no matter how expert we may believe ourselves to be on any topic, there’s always another Doper who can blow us away.
about 23 years ago, I learned an important lesson about “tone”. The issue wasn’t as much what I intended my tone to be but how it was heard by my audience. I learned it the hard way, nearly getting injured in the process. I believe Lessa does not intend to come across as authoritarian, however, she’s been told often enough, sometimes nicely, sometimes not, that a reasonably prudent person would consider that a change may be considered.
By opening the thread, she’ s stated that she’s bothered by the negative comments. future postings will demonstrate if it bothers her enough to consider the possability that her tone does not come out as she intends. Or not.