With all the sniping and and pissing we do at each other here, I like to think that we’re all in it together and in the end are still human. It’s nice to see so many folks pitch in. Keep smiling!
John-
I could not agree more. Like I said previously, I am used to a certain standard of living that was supported by my success at my job(s) over the course of my adult lifetime. This is uncharted territory for me, being needy. It sucks, I hate it, but I had reached a point of no return, like the band Kansas (my first record I found in someone else’s trash). It’s extremely fitting that the tables have turned and now I am relying upon the pity and sufferance of others. It’s even more amazing because of the anonymity.
I mean shit…whom helps out people they don’t know? Dopers, that’s who!
The support has been beyond my wildest imagining.
FGiE - Did you see my post on the first page? I was wondering if you’d gotten your license back yet? If not, what’s required?
StG
I’m sorry I missed that. I’ve had my license the entire time, although limited to work. They tried to force me to install a breathalyzer in my car in order to start it but they couldn’t figure it out due to the push button start so I had a seperate court hearing to abolish that provision.
My probation should be over by now but I still owe a few community service hours (which I have been serving in the genealogy department of my local library) so it’s been extended. Once I finish my community service and pay my community service and probation fees (roughly $482), my probation will be automatically over.
It’s been a rough ride. My insurance, which is through USAA with whom I’ve been a member since I was 16, tripled to about $177/month. It’s pretty outrageous but…I got a DUI. So I figured I deserved it. I have to provide SR-22 statements to my local BMV to keep driving, and that’s been a pain in the butt too.
This whole episode has been equal parts humiliating, enlightening, life-saving and infuriating. But at the end of the day, I did this to myself. Nobody forced me to get into my car that night and try to go get gas ahead of an early morning meeting whils my sons slept at home on a school night. That was all my doing.
But I’m ready to be done with this. I feel like a ward of the state and I am done feeling this way. I cannot wait until my (extended) probation is finally over.
I feel like such a loser, but I deserved this…I did it to myself.
Yes +2
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
FG…I feel you on the sleep thing. I don’t sleep. The only reason I ever drank alcohol was to sleep. As I said before I have been around drinkers my whole life and I quickly realized the addiction danger and decided not to self medicate to sleep. It was a conscience decision. I knew drunken sleep was not restorative sleep. So I stopped. My sleep was even worse than it was before the time I was drinking. It was so hard NOT to go out and buy the alcohol just to sleep. Somehow I pulled up the strength from somewhere. I got through it. I still don’t sleep . I have all kinda boring, tedious things I do to make myself sleepy. It rarely works. So I live with it. If you need someone to talk to or commiserate with, I am but a pm away. Feel free. I am always awake at night. I can sleep about 4am to about 8am. So I’m not real communicative at that time. Anywhoo, I am here.
When your probation is done, any chance you’ll be able to get your car sales job back?
StG
I doubt it. I probably won’t get back into car sales again. The hours are brutal and not conducive to parenting. The commission pressure is unreal. When I was in it before, for most of it, I had a live in girlfriend and her son, and she could account for parental duties like meals, homework, baths and bedtimes while I worked until 9PM every day except Sundays.
I actually loved my job because I love cars and I really enjoyed being able to help people with their car buying decisions. I know, honesty from a car salesman, shocking. Some of my favorite memories are when I managed to get an approval for someone with awful credit, people that just didn’t think they would be able to finance a car. I’ve had elderly women clutch me in tears telling me I was an angel. I know it sounds crazy but I loved those moments.
Car salespeople are in fact, people too. The minority of sleazy, backhanded douchebags help perpetuate the myth that they are all the same when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
So no, probably not, although I’m not really in a position to be choosy right now.
I wish I had gotten a degree in journalism and latched onto an automotive publication like Motor Trend. My true passion lies with cars. I love them.
Why don’t you go back to school?
FoieGrasIsEvil, did you speak? If so, how’d it go?
Ask for anyone to be your sponsor? IAWTK*.
Slee
*Inquiring Alkies Want To Know.
checking in- how are you?
Checking in too.
???
So go and say it. They’ve been there, you’re not the first one who isn’t sure how to go on, in more than one meaning of “go on”.
I did in fact speak at my last AA meeting Thursday night. Fortunately it’s a pretty small group of longtimers that were pretty understanding. I muddled my way through it without too many tears. It was somewhat liberating to finally take that step.
Now I feel emboldened to speak again, if I feel the need. I have also finally gotten over the (to me) awkward nature of holding hands with strangers at the end of each meeting.
I have not yet asked for a sponsor, nor has anyone offered to be one for me. I will at some point, even if just to have a lifeline to reach out to if I feel a strong urge to drink that I don’t feel I can overcome on my own. I’ve been doing pretty well, not too many bad urges…when a doctor looks you in the eye and says “If you drink, you will DIE” is pretty strong motivation not to.
This is also affecting my sons, especially my oldest. He gets pretty emotional when he hears about my condition with my liver when I’m on the phone, or if I mention anything about it.
That’s my update. Thank you again for your generosity, fellow Dopers. The money raised so far will provide living expenses for me for awhile. Living in poverty has given me thousands of experience points, and I am proud to say I have now leveled up to a level 25 Wizard Of The Arts Of Frugality.
God, I hope your liver is ok. Keep us posted.
FGIE — check your PMs. If I can quote a verse from one of may favorite songs,
“Now I’m back in the ring
to take another swing”
Keep getting back in the ring, keep taking another swing.
Good luck to you and your boys.
Is that AC/DC?
Yes — You Shook Me All Night Long.
Sounds like you are starting on a good path.
You mention finding motivation to not drink when your doctor provides health warning or when you think about the consequences for your sons. I hope you can find one more motivation, something positive and internal to you.
Find a reason not to drink today that is all about you. Don’t drink today because you feel better sober. Don’t drink today because you like to see yourself achieving something and it’s so much easier getting things down when you are sober. Don’t drink today because not spending money on booze will help you get yourself out of this economic pinch. And so on.