Fellow tenants: New rule for elevator usage

[BiblioCat]

I’m all for taking the stairs when possible, but unless you know the state of the stairwells, hold your judgement.
In college, I lived on the second floor of a 10-story building. I would have loved to have been able to take the stairs, rather than wait for the elevator, but the stairway didn’t open out into the lobby on the first floor - the doorway opened directly to the outside and was hooked into the fire alarm. We could use them to move between floors, but not to get to the lobby.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@ivn1188

I have decided that I need to amend my ways. Apparently, it is not polite of me to make fun of people who sweat after taking a flight of stairs. Nor is it appropriate to castigate those who try to contribute but fail (though the inappropriateness is more in the Mark Twain pig reading sense).

Thus, I have started on my SDMB reconciliation program. My first step will be to set up an account at the local KFC. I have also contacted the apartment complex management to make them install an elevator in my building, because those stairs will undo all of my hard work. If they do not, I will certainly start a thread here about my discriminatory landlords.

I’ve also traded in my bicycle for a Ford F-150, which I hope will soon give me the opportunity to engage in fisticuffs against random passers-by in the parking lot of the Sirloin Stockade. The truck will be essential in transporting my newly arriving medicaid-benefit Rascal scooter, with which I shall cruise the aisles of the Wal-Mart, hunting for that last XXXL shirt with the Looney Tunes characters on it.

I humbly apologize to those who I have called worthless or who I accused of being unable to attain added value when posting. As part of my program, I have started watching more reality shows and reading nothing but Dragonlance books, and I feel this step will allow me to understand the difficulty some other posters have with being entertaining. I also sincerely hope that my new diet and lifestyle choices (I’ve sworn off sex with attractive people too) will allow me to generate the misplaced outrage and lack of perspective that I have so sorely been lacking.

I think I like you.

[Mr_Happy]

Can’t you just wait the extra minute it takes to get to your floor?
"

[Zeriel]

Screw THAT, dude, I walk several miles to work, and I will damn well take a nice breather in the elevator after that even if I only work on the 4th floor.

Anyone punches me in an elevator for not taking the stairs a short distance is gonna end up with their head held in the door while it closes repeatedly. (You have to imagine this with three stooges sound effects and wildly exaggerated facial expressions for the best benefit. You can imagine me as the Brawny guy (the old one with facial hair, not the new metro-looking one) in business casual, and our theoretical elevator-puncher looks like, say, Milton from Office Space.). That’s not really addressed to Chessic Sense, since he’s never given me the impression he’d have the balls to actually follow through on something like this.

ivn1188, you’re too cute as always. Give us a kiss.

[Chessic_Sense]

Wanna hear something funny? So today I get on the elevator at P1. I walk in with this really cute girl but no one else. As soon as we board, I look at the buttons and think “Damn. I need to get my mail [on 1]. Shoulda taken the stairs. Well, I won’t inconveniece this girl.” She, of course, just hits 1. I, sorta passive-aggressively, say to her “I was going to do that, but I didn’t want you to get mad because I took the elevator just to go one floor. Haha…”

She giggles, totally oblivious to what I’m implying, and says “I never really thought about it. But I don’t even know where the stairs are.” My brain explodes. She doesn’t even know?!?! Not even after the fire alarm went off yesterday? How is that possible?

But she’s cute, so instead of saying this out loud, I grab her hand and spin her around. “See that white door? Yeah…stairs.” We both have our mail by now and go back to call the elevator, which is still there where we left it. We board, along with two other tenants. I hit 20. She hits…

3!! :smack:

@Zeriel

That’s not really addressed to Chessic Sense, since he’s never given me the impression he’d have the balls to actually follow through on something like this.

Did you just “Internet Tough Guy” me?

[Small_Hen]

@Chessic_Sense

But she’s cute, so instead of saying this out loud, I grab her hand and spin her around. “See that white door? Yeah…stairs.”

“If she’d been ugly, I’d have just punched her in the ovaries.”

[Gangster_Octopus]

You sir have inconvenienced me! I challenge you to pistols at dawn!

[Zeriel]

@Chessic_Sense

Did you just “Internet Tough Guy” me?

I prefer to think of it as “ridiculously over-the-top ironic response to your ridiculous OP”.

[Chessic_Sense]

@Small_Hen

“If she’d been ugly, I’d have just punched her in the ovaries.”

Well, if she’s got ovaries and she’s not old or handicapped, then obviously she’s at least cute. Duh.

[El_Kabong]

For close to ten years I lived on the top floor of a Paris walkup. 114 friggin’ stairsteps, sometimes several times a day. I figure after that, if I happen to want to take an elevator one floor, I’ll do it. If Chessic Sense happens to be aboard when I do, well, that’s a bonus.

[MovieMogul]

When I lived on the first floor of my building (which was actually 2 flights of stairs up from the lobby), I would always take the elevator but hit Floor 3, since if I was going to take the stairs, I’d rather descend two flights than go up them.

[MrSquishy]

I don’t really care about the elevator. Do what you want. If you get on the elevator for only one floor, especially down, I will scoff at your laziness after you get off.

Escalators are usually pretty short, and I’ll be somewhat annoyed if you stand and block it, but I’ll probably just wait behind you because I know it’s only going to save me about one second if I try to get past you.

However, if you’re going to just stand on the moving sidewalk at the airport like it’s some kind of amusement park ride, kindly get yourself and your luggage the FUCK out of the way when somebody comes up behind you. Thanks.

[SteveG1]

@Mr.Moto

I generally take the stairs as much as I can - but last year when I was dealing with an awful lung infection, I didn’t.

Now, silly me, I figured the elevators and escalators in public buildings were there for just this kind of purpose. If I happened by some unbelievable coincidence to have inconvenienced you when I was dealing with this, then I hope you got over it okay, Chessic Sense.

I wouldn’t want an individual of your sterling character to be inconvenienced so.

:rolleyes:

BTW, what were you doing on the elevator yourself? Get off of there and start hauling ass up the stairs. After all, any floors you travel will inconvenience somebody, however slightly, and we know how you hate that.

This.

If the OP is such a big strapping tough guy, WTF is HE doing riding the elevator?
Use the stairs ya lazy cuss.

[Kimmy_Gibbler]

@SteveG1

This.

If the OP is such a big strapping tough guy, WTF is HE doing riding the elevator?
Use the stairs ya lazy cuss.

As I recall, he is but a slip of girl at something like 5’6’’ and, I dunno, 9½ stone or something like that.

I remember because it was so incongruous given his internet persona (of course, not that incongruous upon further reflection).

[SteveG1]

@Kimmy_Gibbler

As I recall, he is but a slip of girl at something like 5’6’’ and, I dunno, 9½ stone or something like that.

I remember because it was so incongruous given his internet persona (of course, not that incongruous upon further reflection).

In that case …
I iz in ur elevator pushin ur buttonz!

[The_Tao_s_Revenge]

I wanna ride an elevator with the OP, from the first to the second floor, then push all the buttons for the other floors on my way out so I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth as the elevator door closes.

[furt]

@robby

Back when I was in college, you took all kinds of shit if you took the dorm elevator up or down by less than two floors, unless you were handicapped.

There were seven floors. One year, I lived on the second floor. I think I used the elevator twice that year.

I lived in an 18 story dorm … adjacent floors were out. If you lived on 8, and someone hit 7 first, you were walking up one.

[Guinastasia]

@Guinastasia

Either that or find out where the OP lives, follow him into the elevator, and push EVERY SINGLE FLOOR.

@The_Tao_s_Revenge

I wanna ride an elevator with the OP, from the first to the second floor, then push all the buttons for the other floors on my way out so I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth as the elevator door closes.

Dammit, you stole my idea!!!

[The_Tao_s_Revenge]

@Guinastasia

Dammit, you stole my idea!!!

Now see I go blissfully off thinking I’m original, then you go and ruin it simply because you thought of it and posted it first. I hope your happy.

[TBG]

If people weren’t supposed to ride the elevator up one floor, it would be programmed not to allow such behavior. If it bugs you so much YOU take the stairs.

NEWER RULE: Anyone making a fuss out of someone riding an elevator for only one or two floors gets punched in the face FOUR times when the rider gets off.