The problems of gettting from floor to floor

The BBQ Pit
1

Why can’t people learn how to use elevators. Actually, it’s not so much of an operation issue, as it is one of general awareness. People ride in elevators. We all know this. People get in and out of those stupid things all day long, don’t they? In fact, if you are standing in front of an elevator, you are probably planning to get on the thing. And (and here’s the key), unless you are a sad, strange little man, you intend to get out of the elevator fairly shortly after you enter it. That said, why, oh why, people, do you stand right there in front of the elevator doors in the hallway and acted shocked and baffled when the doors open and someone is trying to get out? Granted, perhaps the elevator in question is not in a particularly busy building. Fine. But surely you’ve got to expect that you are not the only person in the vicinity that wants to travel between floors using one of the miracles of modern technology.

When I’m in the elevator and it stops at my floor, and the door opens (this is the general pattern, mind you), I step forward to get off. That is the point of this whole procedure. Get in, get off. In, out. On, off. Simple. I step forward to get off, and the door is opening and there is some schmuck already in mid-stride to get on the elevator. It is to the point where, if the elevator door had not opened properly, this bozo would have smacked his forehead right into the still-closed door. No need for this haste, in my opinion. So I’m trying to get off, and he is already getting on, and the door opens fully and then he notices me and starts, as if another human being getting off the elevator is the last thing on God’s green earth he ever expected to encounter today. Sometimes, he’ll say, “You scared me.” I scared you, did I, you dumb fuck? Well, that’s just great, now how about you step back and let me off this thing, huh? I scared you? Was my disembarking so threatening, the way I took a step to get off the fucking elevator? Maybe you’re just a little jumpy, or mentally retarded or something. And STEP BACK, fertheluvofgod!! I don’t want to do a little dance with a fucking jackass, bobbing and weaving to get off the elevator. Get out of the way. Go home. Have some soup. Shoot yourself in the face. Thank you.

Don’t even get me started about escalators. They are steps. You can walk up steps can’t ya? Huh? If these stairs weren’t moving, would you just stand there on the bottom step with your stupid mouth hanging open, waiting? You probably would, wouldn’t you? Don’t stand on the fucking escalator, relishing the fact that there’s another task in your day that your lazy ass doesn’t actually have to do, like walk up the fucking stairs!! Get out of the way!!! MOVE!!!

2

On a semi-related note, When I get on the elevator at the ground floor and go up to 10 or 12 or wherever it is that I am going, It annoys the shit sticks out of me when the elevator stops on 5, someone gets on, and then promtply gets off on 6. YOU CAN’T CLIMB ONE FUCKING FLIGHT OF STAIRS?

3

Hoo yeah. It’s easy, folks. Stand on the right, walk on the left. This is so universal, it even applies in England of all places (contrary to the way they drive, I mean). Most of the times (at airports, subway stations and the like) it’s even indicated in 25 languages.

So what the FUCK is the problem with these people who:

  1. Stand on the left;
  2. Stand with 2 people on one step, making even the slalom manoeuvre impossible;
  3. Put suitcases down SIDEWAYS on escalators.

I’m using only one word when walking up the escalators, folks: “Sorry!”. You have roughly 2 seconds to react. Failure to do so will result in a body check.

Aaaaahhh… much better now. Sure, it’s a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things. But it could be avoided so easily, if it weren’t for all these stupid assholes that just DON’T THINK about where the fuck they are.

4

I’ll answer this for myself…no, because they FUCKING LOCK THE DOORS FROM THE STAIRWAY IN MY OFFICE! Our admin offices are on the 9th floor. I work on the 10th. I would MUCH prefer to just take the stairs. However, once you get in the stairwell, the ONLY place you can get off is on a parking level or the ground floor. They lock all other doors from the inside.

5

Actually, no, I can’t. I have congestive heart failure, arthritis, and a trick knee. None of this is visible when you just look at me…but believe me, I can’t use the stairs. I can’t even climb DOWN stairs. If a fire breaks out, I’ll just have to burn.

Lynn the Gimp

6

i would not mind climbing the one flight of stairs, but the staircase in our building is at opposite end of the entrance. the elevator on the other hand is right at the entrance. so it is actually quicker to take the elevator, rather than walk to the end of the hall to use the stairs.

7

Vandal and Falcon, I understand that your office might lock stairwell doors, or it might be a hike to get to the staircase. Not so in my office.

Now, of course, I respect that some people have physical limtiations on what they can and can’t do. And sure, for all I know, every person that I have seen do this could feasibly have a situation that would prevent them from taking the stairs.

But I bet the odds are with me (I see enough people do this) when I say there’s a fair share of lazy fuckers in my building.

8

mouthbreather - I agree with you 100%

I read once in an etiquette book that taking the elevator one floor is considered rude. And I agree, because I hate to wait on a fucking elevator and then have to stop at every floor on my 10 floor journey as lazy fuck after lazy fuck gets in on one floor and off on the next. It delays me and everyone else unnecessarily and ties up the elevator for all of the people waiting to use it to make a real trip. I understand that a few people might not be physically able to climb the stairs, but in a vast majority of cases it’s just good 'ole laziness.

Now I also understand that some offices lock the the stairway doors - mine does too. I don’t understand this. I feel like an utterly rude asshole fuck when I have to take an elevator to get from my office down to the mailroom. In fact, they’re renovating our office right now and have an excellent opportunity to add an internal stairway that could connect all of our 6 floors from top to bottom. This would save everyone time and effort by providing an alternative to the elevator. Instead, guess what they’ve done? Those idiots went through and have eliminated the one (2 floor) internal stairway that we already did have. Ridiculous!

9

Another thing that makes me nuts, that no one has mentioned yet, is the following scenario. I’m on a semi-crowded elevator, not standing right in front. The elevator stops at my floor, and several people need to get off it. Some misguidedly polite, usually older, gentleman, who is also getting off at my floor, steps aside to let me off first.

Excuse me, but I can’t get off the elevator until you do! You’re in the way, you’re standing between me and the door, and the elevator is full of people. The only way for me to get off the elevator before you is to push a lot of folks out of the way.

I understand the whole “ladies first” impulse, but even Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners) says that this is ridiculous.

10

Sorry Cat, it’s an ingrained impulse to let women on and off the elevator first. I understand that most women really don’t care and even consider it a nuisance, but negative reinforcement when I was very young (i.e. a swift slap on the back of the head from my grandfather) has caused me to do this and not even think twice about it. I dunno, I need to find a nice twelve-step group. :slight_smile:

11

johnnyharvard, do you seriously mean that there will be no stairway in your building? Most places I’ve been, that is against the fire code. Bad juju, man.

12

Hey Coldfire–

Here in the U.S., it is not the custom the stand on the right, walk on the left on escalators. The custom is to arrange yourself such that nobody can possibly get by you.

I went to London (where they have those astoundingly long escalators) and was shocked and amazed to see people standing on the right only. It seemed like such a simple solution to a seemingly intractable problem. I can’t for the life of me figure out why we don’t do that here!

I register my small protest by always standing to the right if I am going to stand, and walking to the left if I am going to walk.
With regard to the elevator thing–Much new construction seems to be designed to discourage stair use! I can’t figure out why.

13

You won’t find long open stairwells in high rise buildings because they act like chimneys in a fire, and they spread lethal smoke fumes from floor to floor. You need fire doors at a stairwell that is more than one (or two?) floors long.

They lock the doors in the fire escape stairwell for security reasons. Most high rise buildings are multi-tenant arrangements, and people who work for one company generally have no business in another company’s area. They want you to have to at least sneak past the receptionist. It’s also another line of locked doors between your desk and the street door.

They don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling donut if your ulcers get aggrevated by elevators. They’ve got liability lawyers (pardon my language) to deal with.

I take the Neanderthal approach myself. When the elevator doors open I step out briskly. If there is a moron in the way, he accidentally collects the elbow of death right in the breadbasket. Oooh, sorry, that had to hurt. You OK? Here, let me give you a hand. Didn’t you know you’re supposed to let people off before you try to barge in like that? Small or delicate people are exempt because I’m not quite that much of an asshole. How hard can it be?

14

Speak - I guess that explanation makes sense as far as internal stairwells. I still think it would be efficient but I can see that there might be liability problems.

And I can also understand why the fire doors on our stairwells (yes, we do have stairs in the building - it’s not a firetrap) have to be locked in multi-tenant arrangements. What I don’t understand is why they just can’t configure the locks on those doors to accept our access passes if we want to move from floor to floor. It doesn’t seem like it would be that hard to do and it would really eliminate the idiocy of taking an elevator 1 floor.

**And I’m still reserving the right to flame folks who take the damn elevator when they have unfettered access to stairways. That’s just damn annoying and inconsiderate and for 9 out of 10 people, damn lazy, too. :wink: **

15

[Devil’s Advocate Hat On]

Aren’t escalators there for people who do not want to walk up stairs? If you’re in that much of a hurry, can’t you run up a flight of regular ol’ stairs just as easily?

[Devil’s Advocate Hat Off]

16

You’ve hit on one of my pet peeves. I have put some energy into the edification of strangers thusly: I stand to the side of the elevator doors with my children and remind them in a conversational tone that we must give people room to get out before we step in. My kids, of course, need no reminder, because they have always done so, but I have caused more than one person to step back guiltily.