Female Breasts

(I did a search to see if I could find an answer to my question, but so many responses came back that I gave up after about 100.)

Last night during a hypothetical question and answer with my SO about what it would take to convince either one of us to pose for Playboy/Playgirl, she mentioned that her breasts probably aren’t “perky” enough to be featured in Playboy. She had been a little chubby in high school and although she lost the weight, apparently the skin stuck around to cause her breasts to sag.

So the question came up: Is there anyway to reverse the sagging? Neither one of us could answer, so I put the question to the SDMB.

If anything, we figured maybe there were some excercises that might tighten the muscles behind the breast, but we have no idea.

(And no, surgery isn’t one of the options, nor is taking that potion from “Death Becomes Her”.)

Thanks,

Scott

Options to make the breasts look like they aren’t sagging:

  1. Lie on back for all photographs.
  2. Hang upside down for all photographs.
  3. Have pictures taken in zero gravity environment.
  4. Cross arms under breasts to make “boobie shelf”.

The sagging is not from stretched skin so much as it is from stretched ligaments. See, there are tiny sinewy (how often does one get to use that word?) ligaments that sort of “hold” the breast up. As gravity takes it’s toll, the ligaments stretch. They aren’t elastic; they don’t return to original length. I seem to recall that there is a surgical procedure that can shorten these ligaments but I’m not sure. I know you said that surgery was OOTQ, but I don’t know if you meant Boob job or ALL surgical stuff.

The breast firming creams are shams. They basically tighten the skin which has no effect on “perkiness”.

What, as opposed to male breasts?

“3) Have pictures taken in zero gravity environment.” This need not mean on MIR or in a 747 in a sustained dive from 15,000 m. You can simulate a zero gravity environment in a swimming pool.

Another approach is to get pregnant. Both breasts will fill out very nicely so the sagging should be less apparent. Of course, after stopping nursing…

** STOP??? WHY STOP??? **. :stuck_out_tongue:

Cartooniverse

Well, unless you’re a supermodel or someone who regularly poses nude, spending a couple thousand dollars just restore ligaments seems like a little bit of a stretch, especially if your a middle-class guy who would prefer to have his future kids going to college than to have his future wife have perkier breasts.

Oh, and Nukeman? My breasts are perky enough, thank you!

Scott

Well, if surgery isn’t an option, then no, there isn’t anything you can do about it.

FWIW, tell your girlfriend that that perfect cone-shaped perky breast is actually the breast of an adolescent (read: immature) female, and to Real Men it looks aberrant on anybody over the age of about 16.

A Real Woman’s breast should look like it’s been places and done things, not like it came off a Barbie doll. :wink:

Signed,

TWO BREASTS WHO’VE BEEN PLACES AND DONE THINGS YOU CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE

:smiley:

har de har har.

Mmmm… squeezies!

This is pretty off topic, but there are… other magazines for “softer” women.

Perhaps, would she consider posing for Score or Voluptuous instead?


Pete
Long time RGMWer and ardent AOLer

Sure, to get firmer/bigger breasts: 1. Gain a lot of weight or 2. get pregnant.

But I like the way 16 year olds’ breasts look! I like them ALOT!

–Tim

Hmmm… wife’s perky breasts… kids in college…

JUST WAIT A MINUTE!! I’m thinking!!!

God bless you, DDG. My lover just turned 40. She’s had two babies, and is large busted anyway. She’s got Real Woman’s breasts. To say I’m fond of them is an extension of saying I’m fond of her. Barbie Doll’s are horrific. Give me someone who’s LIVED some !

And, what places?? Done what things?? Give us a cite ! :wink:

Cartooniverse

Don’t let anyone fool you! ALL men like 16 yr old breasts!! Thats why they have laws…! :eek:

“But I like the way 16 year olds’ breasts look! I like them ALOT!”

I have seen 40+ years old women with more perky breasts than a 16 year old’s…

Don’t forget the pencil test. Sitting up, a woman puts a pencil under her breast. If the pencil stays=drooping breasts, if it falls=perky breasts :slight_smile:

“I can imagine a fair bit” – Han Solo :smiley:

<----elbowing Scruff out of the way, " Heeeyyyy, I FLIRTED FIRST ! ". :smiley: ( All of a sudden, I’m in the 5th grade again…).

( DDG, you are admired and respected, this debate over your breastages notwithstanding ).

Cartooniverse

She could try a bit of weight lifting. An increase in the underlying pectoral muscles could provide a little lift.

It’s “I can imagine quite a bit”!!! Get your facts straight!!!

Why, I oughtta open a Pit thread just for that misquote… ::grumble grumble::