Today I saw not one but two young women, early to mid-20s, who were so luminously, soulfully beautiful I quite literally ached as I gazed at them.
I am a happily married man aged 45. My wife is beautiful inside and out. I have never had any courage where women are concerned, and plus most certainly couldn’t possibly have an affair, even if I wanted to, which I don’t, which is good, because my wife would look at me and know within two seconds if I did. Which is bad.
Here’s my dilemma: I love Beauty, with a capital B, in all its many shapes and guises. And I long to tell these young women how damn beautiful they are, with no doggery intended. But I do not want to irritate them or make them feel I am coming on to them. So I never do. But I burn with it sometimes.
The question: would it/does it bother you if a man 20 years your senior stopped you to tell you how damn beautiful you are, if he wasn’t obviously drooling or trying to get your number? Is it a drag or does it make your day? Threatening? Empowering? What say you, Dopers of the female persuasion?
Lastly, is there a way for me to do it that would work better than other ways? Or should I keep my observations to myself? Oh yeah, I wish to do it for two reasons. One, to give them a spark of cheer in this dank world we inhabit, as gazing upon their beauteous visage has given me. Two, to bask in their smiling beauty for an instant longer.
I feel the same as the OP and I’m even older than he. There are women out there who are unbelievably beautiful; they draw me as a magnet draws tacks. Except I don’t approach them and I doubt I ever will. I hope I never will, anyway; being committed to the ward for the criminally insane doesn’t appeal to me. But I know exactly what the OP means.
I should add that the attraction I feel for those women is not sexual in the least; it is simply admiration for a beauty that I have seen in my youth and will never see again except in pictures.
SWB is pretty cute. You could just tell her, and then not have to worry about getting arrested. I suspect the “Ick.” thing means you probably shouldn’t, though.
I’m a *girl *and wish sometimes I could tell other girls - strangers, mind you - how beautiful they are. But there is no way that will not come off as weird. I’m straight, I’m not interested in them, but I feel everybody likes to hear they’re pretty, right? I am sad sometimes that’s what this society is like.
If I were their age it would come across as creepy to me no matter how well intentioned you are. Just smile nicely and keep going. If they’re that beautiful they already know it and will know that you’re appreciating it in a nice, non-threatening way.
I sometimes give other women compliments if I find them beautiful (I’m female). Yes, sometimes I feel weird, but the solution for that is to exit quickly, like just in passing in the supermarket, or to add " I just wish my (physical feature) was as gorgeous as yours". I truly mean it and you can just see some people beam. I just appreciate classic beauty. Think how everyone expects women to be catty, and how refreshing it is not to be.
As for older men, yeah, it’s got to be much the same situation, but it’s next to impossible not to come off like you’re coming on to them. It can happen, but I couldn’t articulate what the difference is.
A long wolf whistle is the traditional way to express a platonic appreciation of a woman’s beauty. Occasionally they’ll respond with a gentle tap across the jaw to express their thanks.
I hope that I didn’t sound like I was saying that you’re creepy or that wanting to acknowledge them is creepy. It’s just how they’re likely to perceive it because of the age difference.
