Guys' opinions on getting compliments from strange women?

In My Humble Opinion
1

(Not really sure which forum is right for this, so move it if it’s better somewhere else)

Do guys generally like it when strange women tell them they’re drop-dead gorgeous? I was tempted to do that tonight. I stopped by a fast-food place for a burger, and this guy came in behind me. He seemed nice, easy-going, unassuming, very polite, and asked if I had already ordered because he didn’t want to jump in front of me. OMG I just wanted to blurt it out and say “Man oh man, you are seriously very nice to look at.” But oh, I restrained myself, acted very cool and calm on the outside. I just wondered how he would have reacted if I had blurted it out. I didn’t know if he’d feel flattered, or creeped out. I’m not really creepy, but ya never know how someone else will feel. BTW I’m 50ish, and he seemed 20ish. I’m often told I look 40ish, or 30ish, even 20ish, but I’m also sure many people do realize I’m much older, so I wouldn’t assume a 20ish guy would be flattered by an old woman’s attention.

It was also weird because I was trying to nonchalantly steal glances at him while he seemed to be trying to steal glances at me. I just wanted to drool, and stare at him to my heart’s content, but didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Gosh, what a hunky, hunky guy. He had a gorgeous face, and also had the body of a weight-lifter. But he wasn’t at all bulky, just a lean body that definitely worked out quite a lot. Geez, I’m such a shy dork. I just stood there looking off into space while I really just wanted to look only at him. Forever. I didn’t speak up because I always hated it when strange men would suddenly blurt out that they found me attractive. They acted like I should be grateful, but I wasn’t. I just wanted them to stop grinning at me as if they had done me a huge favor by complimenting me, and leave me the heck alone.

But I always kick myself after moments like this, because I think there’s probably no harm in giving a guy a compliment, right? I mean, maybe he would have appreciated being admired, right? And if I had asked, “do you work out? cause it definitely shows,” would that be a bad thing that a female noticed his obvious hard body? Aww damn, I used to be better at this but now I just freeze up. Argh!!

So guys, what do you think? Do you like random compliments from strange women? Or do you hate them?

2

If some 50 yo woman walked up to me and started telling me how beautiful a man I was, I’d probably be a bit unnerved. But if she turned around and upon seeing me, immediately blurted out the same statement before she could control herself, I’d probably be bemused and pleased.

That said, this hasn’t been a worry, to date.

3

I don’t like it much, because the women who compliment me are really strange.

4

I am NOT drop dead gorgeous, but I do (or used to) get the occasional compliment. I fluster at that pretty easily, but I still enjoy the ego stroke. It’s been a few years, but I was shopping at a Krogers in northern Cincinnati suburbs once, with both of my kids in tow. There were a pair of black women, dressed as if they might have just come from church. One made a comment along the lines of “Aren’t you fine?” and I literally turned all the way around to see who they were talking about. Both of them laughed and the other added “Hey baby, just because you’re a daddy doesn’t mean you can’t be hot”. I blushed deep red and tried to mumble thanks. Fortunately neither of my kids was really old enough to pick up on the moment and report back to mom.

After the years I’m sure I’m misquoting somehow, but that was the gist.

Now, I could see if you were model good looking and it happened all the time it might be weird, but every few years it’s nice to hear.

5

It’s not like I have some problem with mysterious women running up and complimenting me, but if you really want to ego-stroke, be cute and flirt with me. Some kind of blunt comment, a propos of nothing, would strike a wrong chord and I’d probably want nothing more than to get away from you.

6

I’m ugly, so it’s never been an issue.

7

I almost blurted it out, and then caught myself, thinking, “OMG, you can’t just blurt that out to total stranger!” So maybe I shouldn’t listen to myself? LOL

Thinking about it now I’m pretty sure he would have been just fine with it. Overall I did get solid friendly vibes from him. It’s just too bad my brain sorta froze this time. Darn.

Well, I hope you get that “worry” real soon. :wink:

Haha. I should also add that while I think the worst and imagine myself to be creepy, in reality I’m very NOT creepy, in fact probably the exact opposite. Still, I do like to know what various guys would think about it if it happened to them. For instance, when guys work out do they like when strange women comment on it? Whenever I comment on my platonic guy-friends toning up their bodies they always grin from ear to ear, stand a little taller, and FLEX. LOL. But I’m never sure if a complete stranger would feel the same way.

ShibbOleth, I’m also black, (and this guy was white), so I do know how the urge to speak in a bold way just naturally bubbles up. Unfortunately I also have a very prominent shyness core, so I’m also capable of squelching these bold impulses. Definitely gotta work on that.

And Ryan, you’re breaking my heart. Geez, some guys I find incredibly attractive would be considered ugly by many standards. In fact, I don’t usually look twice at the typically handsome men, so I’m not sure why I did this time.

8

I don’t mind it at all. I’ve heard a lot of strange compliments. The three that stick out most are:

“If I was 30 years younger I’d show you a good time” - Mid 60’s woman.
“If you were a girl, I’d hook you up with my son” - Woman in her 40’s
“You were the type of guy I went for in the 70’s, back when I was your age” - Woman in her 40’s

All three were said by somewhat regular customers at work, and it doesn’t bother me at all. The only one I think was a little strange was the second one.

9

23 year old guy here, and I’ve had compliments from women from time to time. I certainly love it. Hell, I’d be even more flattered if it came from a 50-ish woman - that takes some guts!

The closest I’ve come is when I was a server, waiting on a table of two women around that age who were drinking wine and having a grand old time. One of them asked me suggestively what time I got off work… I told her it’s hard to say since it depends on business (which is true), and it didn’t go anywhere from there. She was actually quite a charming lady and I would have flirted back and attempted to take her up on the implied offer if I wasn’t intimidated myself!

10

Go ahead and say it. Most likely you will never see each other again, and he will have a story to tell. And if he doesn’t like it, it will be a slightly different story than if he does.

11

Posted this elsewhere but: I was leaving the supermarket, aware that someone was behind me. She went to her car, which was to my left. As I started my car, I looked over and she was staring at me, licking her lips. Whoa! But that was a turnoff.

I think guys often amplify what women say because women usually drop little hints that we’re supposed to get. Many of us know we’re dense in that way. A bolder, clearer signal is appreciated. But that can be overdone.

I would have amplified your signal three to five times. More than that and you’ll run the risk that he thinks you’re a hooker, scamming him somehow, whatever—it would be too good to be true, too much of a good thing. That’s what I thought about the girl/woman in the parking lot. Simply maintaining eye contact is a biggie. Being bold enough to speak—compliment him on something if you can’t think of small talk—is another.

12

Wow, not the responses that I had expected.

My own opinion? Bring it on! A compliment, even from someone who is clearly not my type, is always welcome.

13

It’s nowhere near as awkward as when I get the compliment from gay men.

14

I would agree that in the case of a total stranger, in practice, she’s likely to be really strange. I don`t, on the other hand, believe that necessarily precludes one from doing it without being really strange.

15

I’m with tdn here–I love getting compliments and frankly I need some validation at times. (I’m in a place in my life where people I know who are non-single/non-poly will remark on how good I look, but I never hear it from anyone who might actually be interested. =P)

If there’s a line that can be crossed to make it creepy, it’s in the publicness of the declaration modified by the intent of it–“Hey, you’re really handsome.” is nearly always acceptable. “I would shag you until you begged for mercy”, not so much in a line at the fast food place (but whispered in a nightclub while dancing? Hmm.)

16

I agree. I can’t wrap my brain around someone feeling in any way uncomfortable about interest, no matter how expressed, from the opposite sex.

17

How do I feel about getting compliments from women unknown to me? I’d be flattered. I’m not sure it’s ever happened, though.

18

I’ll take a compliment wherever I can get it. Strange woman, gay male, post office employee, friend’s grandmother, whatever.

19

People - men - have bitched that it’s akin to flirting, that it’s like leading men on.

Myself, it’s one of my New Year’s resolutions. Compliment people, genuinely, whenever I feel they deserve it. And I have been keeping to it. It’s a little more difficult with men, actually, but I plan to keep doing it.

20

I will gladly accept compliments from anyone, even though it turns me several deep shades of red when it happens. :o

Actually, I’ve had some real lulus because I’m the lead singer / guitar player in a rock band. I’m not all that good looking (though I’ve been told I have a nice ass and a leading-man chin), but I’ve had a couple of women come up to me and say some really forward stuff.

However, I don’t see these sorts of compliments as very flattering…it seems like they’d be saying that stuff to the lead singer anyway, whomever he was, just because.