They’ve really wrapped their arms around it, and given it a good long squeeze.
There appears to be some ass fondling going on as well. I won’t name names. You know who you are.
Really.
I don’t mind hugs. But I don’t initiate them. If someone initiates then I will return the hug.
I have a couple of close guy friends and they’ll do the half hug thing where we’ll clasp the right hand and do a half hug, body to the left, chests bump (more a bump of right shoulders), left hand gives two firm back thumps, then we part and release the right hand. It probably has a name but I’ll call it the “bro hug”.it’s awkward until you know what’s being initiated, and then the next time it’s, oh it’s John and we’re doing the bro hug.
I do handshakes and I do initiate them.
Now for women (I’m a guy) I won’t initiate a handshake unless she extends her hand. That’s from old military etiquette at social settings where I was taught that practice, in the 1980s-1990s. It may sound outdated but it still works. A small percentage of ladies when you meet them do not extend a hand. There, you smile, maintain eye contact, bow my head just a little, and extend or return a verbal greeting. It still happens even today.
Except in a business setting, where I always extend a hand.
That was pre-covid. Now it’s elbow bump, not handshake for the rules above.
Complex rules!
And for those women who will overly shove their boobs on me, yeah that’s quite awkward.
I have no problem at all if a woman or girl hugs me. I do sometimes feel a bit of initial discomfort when a guy hugs me. But I’m pretty sure that’s cultural, as it goes away if it becomes a thing.
If I had my way, physical contact would be the norm. It would still become more frequent the closer you got to someone, but it would start at a higher level. I’ve just always enjoyed physical affection.
Sure, someone grabbing things I wouldn’t want them to would be offputting, but boobs touching is fine. They’re soft pillows. And softer people can make for better hugs.
I’m a non-hugger in a hugging family and am largely regarded as standoffish because of it. Sy, fams, I just find it more awkward than bonding. I bond in other ways.
If physical contact were the norm, would there be less depression, stress, and anxiety in the world? These things seem to have been on the rise, and I wonder if that’s at least a little but due to touch starvation.
Come’ere, you.
A proper cheek kiss doesn’t put saliva on your cheek. Rather, in a cheek kiss greeting, the two people touch their cheeks while miming a kiss. (I once greeted a Cuban by actually kissing her cheek - I thought I was reflecting her Latin culture - and the awkwardness was palpable).
…
Meanwhile, count me as another guy who doesn’t mind getting a hug from a woman. I consider it a bonus if she mashes her boobs into my chest.
Get one of these hugs
Next time do this
Just watch out for "il bacio della morte " :
Touch starvation can indeed be an issue. But while wanted physical contact is important, unwanted physical contact is itself a source of stress and anxiety. And it doesn’t have to be sexual to be unwanted.
I am not a huggy person. It’s never caused all that much trouble for me, except with the wife of a friend of mine, who hugs just about everyone for any reason at all. The biggest problem I had with it was not the hugging itself, but the fact that she simply would not accept a polite refusal. Oh, no, we’re going to hug, whether I like it or not.
There was a definite undercurrent that not being a hugger meant that there was something deeply wrong with me, and/or my upbringing. I got a lot of questions from her along the lines of “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” and “Didn’t your parents love you?” and like that. Very distasteful.
No one has mentioned the age thing. There are many things that older men (>50) do that are judged as “creepy” when the same behavior is acceptable in younger men. At 70, I never initiate a hug with anyone but my spouse, but I’m comfortable hugging an older woman or a man of any age if they initiate it. I’m very uncomfortable hugging a younger woman even if she initiates it because I assume she’s doing it more because it’s socially expected than anything else.
I actually think a lot of behavior is creepier from men 30-50 than from older men.
In St Martin, a French Caribbean woman we know there “check kissed” me. At the time I was a cheek kiss virgin. Afterwards, as I smoked a cigarette, she explained how what I did was wrong. She showed me how to do it, then kissed me hard on the lips and said, “not like that, oui?”
Was there tongue?
I came from a non hugging family and 30 + years of living in Asia just made it all that much more so.
I guess I’m fortunate to have married into fellow nonhoggers. I had no idea of the bullet I dodged.
Around 1990 (just to set the era) we had a female secretary. It was “policy” to bring treats on your birthday, so she came in to my office to get one. She said “Happy Birthday!” and gave me a big hug. She was quite busty, and it was quite surprising (but not unpleasant).
She came up to me a week later and was told by management that she needed to stop hugging, but that’s how she was raised. (She left shortly after.) It was just her style, but not really appropriate to a business environment.
I didn’t really “need” her hug; my wife is a better hugger.
Wait, I’m confused. You told her to stop? She told you that she’d been instructed to stop? Something else?
I’m not a hugger, but it’s okay since the only female who ever wants to hug me is my sister, who I see a few times a year. And that’s less “boobs!” and more “Okay, I guess I’m being hugged, what am I supposed to do with my hands again?”
And yes, I’m probably a psycho.