I’m still trying to picture in my mind what this means.
It’s a pulling back, while hugging, so that her boobs make less contact. And your arms aren’t really hugging, and pulling her tighter towards you. They’re around her back, barely making contact, just patting her on the back.
And what it does is make it obvious you are trying to avoid touching her boobs, which just brings the whole subject to the fore and make it more embarrassing, where if you didn’t do it, no one would think about it for a heartbeat.
Again, I’ve been there, not judging anyone. But my life has been easier since I got past it.
The OP did specify “females you are not close to”. I am perfectly happy to hug my family members and close friends, but I find it intrusive and uncomfortable with people I don’t/barely know. I definitely pull the “stick out my hand for a handshake” move when I see someone I’ve just met going in for a hug.
I’m a hugger, so it doesn’t bother me. The main issue is when I am starting to get to know someone, and figuring out if hugging is ok or not, so I generally let the woman initiate the first hug. I’ve generally never had a problem with the bro hug. Of course that’s in a casual setting. In an office setting, it’s handshakes (or whatever we are doing now… we’ve been working at home since covid started).
My wife’s friends tend to be huggers and it’s fine. Once upon a time I belonged to a church where it was all hugs all the time and, if I was ever apprehensive about it, it was long ago burned out of me via exposure. A couple of the husbands go in for the hand clasp turned bro hug and that’s fine as well. Guess I’m just not very selective about that sort of contact although I don’t really initiate it myself.
My wife’s family is Peruvian and the first time I met her sister, she gave me some amusing warning that “Ok, so in our culture we kiss on the cheek so I’m going to do that, ok?” as though she was explaining things to a child. I guess I appreciated the warning (though I knew from my wife anyway) and didn’t hold it against her but the tone made me laugh. It’s really the air-kiss thing these days though that first time was an actual kiss – I only remember because I was mildly surprised it wasn’t an air kiss. I suppose that’s what the warning was for!
I’m not super comfortable with it in some situations.
Middle school dancing, I suspect.
I heard those referred to as an A frame hug.
This illustration, from a Wall Street Journal article on “Corporate Hugging: A Field Guide” illustrates both the “side-hug” (left) and the “A-frame hug” (right):
Well, it’s not hard if you deliberately de-emphasize the few years gap between the warning signs and the full-on psycho
This thread is reminding me of that preacher that would preach to his youth ministry about the evils of hugging.
And then he wrote a song about “the side hug” to promote that instead of hugging.
Does anybody remember that? Lol
(This post does not mean to imply non huggers are as douchey as the above mentioned preacher. It’s one thing to just not like hugs. Quite another thing to imply hugs are the devil’s playground)
Huh, so corporate hugging is to hugging just like corporate music is to music, and both have the same reasons for existing.
@kenobi_65 's illustration does resemble a nightmare version of actual dance figures…
I’m fine with physical contact almost all the time from people of either sex, so it doesn’t bother me. I work in the wedding industry, and at the end of the day when I say goodbye to the bride and groom, it is not unusual for the bride to give me a hug. Certainly not most of the time, but it’s common enough that it doesn’t raise an eyebrow from me. You can usually tell who is the huggy type – some will go into it full force, others will say something like “Aw…I do hugs” to my outstretched hand before hugging, or something like that. I’m fine with that, but I have sometimes wondered how awkard it must be for those who are not into hugs. From my end, I play it conservatively and don’t initiate the hug, but I’m more than happy to oblige.
Among long term co-workers, the hug seems to be a thing for highly special occasions: engagement, pregnancy, birth, promotions, awards, meeting a really big professional goal, good-bye dinners. Sometimes losses. I’ve hugged co-workers, male and female, for all of those things, and it felt good to have some very concrete way to acknowledge that this was a Big Deal for them. But there were always cues it was welcome.
ETA: and, as a teacher, graduation. Graduation is a hug fest, no doubt. I bet I hug 100 people at a graduation.
Yes agree to all you said. If you are female, have you hugged another woman who seems to prominently thrust her breasts against you and into the hug? Why do some women do that? It’s a bit awkward.
I am a woman. I don’t pay attention to my breasts at all when I hug. I suppose someone might think I am “thrusting” them, if they are really hung up on breasts. I mean, I imagine my breast are touching cloth that is touching cloth that is touching cloth that is touching someone else’s skin, but it’s a lot of cloth. Are you particularly aware of specific body parts when you hug people?
Women who have large breasts have large breasts. We can’t exactly take them off because you find them awkward.
I have certainly hugged women whose breasts made contact with me, and I have certainly hugged people, male and female, in such a way that my breasts made contact with them; because unless I do an A-frame hug my breasts are going to touch you if I hug you. This is not because I’m trying to shove them at anyone. It’s just because they exist.
With all due respect: Are you absolutely certain that she wasn’t perfectly normal, and your family drove her psycho?
Breasts aren’t exactly a random body part. It might be analogous if you could feel a man’s genitals. Obviously that doesn’t happen with a typical hug, but it could happen in a situation like a packed train. Because of the sexual aspect of certain body parts, feeling them pressed against you, especially firmly, isn’t the same as feeling as an arm or something. The few times I’ve noticed it is the odd times when the woman hugs firmly and her breasts press into my chest. Most hugs there is light or no contact, so it’s not anything noticeable.