Fictional universes you wouldn't last a minute in

Cafe Society
1

Or rather, that you’d last an unusually short time in. And by “last” I don’t mean “give up and want to go home”, I mean die, cease to exist, or otherwise become non-functional in some way (e.g. get mind controlled, turned to stone, shapeshifted into a useless critter). If, like in my example, you’re in a universe that’s inevitably fucked, only list it if you’d be fucked rather quicker than most people.

I’d also prefer if it’s because of an aspect of your personality, no stuff like “I would be killed because they hate black people in this universe” or “my wheelchair would cause the peasants to accuse me of witchcraft.” Maybe if it’s some exceptionally odd prejudice in your given universe you can list it (e.g. a universe where people with scars on their left arm are hanged).

The Cthulhu Mythos (or any similar mythos) I wouldn’t last a day in. The absolute second I found out there was an entire cadre of secrets man just Was Not Meant To Know™, especially secrets that I could gain access relatively easily, without needing to rub elbows with the Illuminati or whatever, my life’s goal would instantly become to know that stuff. Oh sure, I might TELL myself “no, it’s fine. You know what happens to people who research this stuff.” But I know myself too well, and I know I’d give in eventually. Sooner rather than later too.

Any universe where magic is liable to blow up in your face if you experiment with it would probably get me too.

So what universes would you not last a day in? I suspect I’m nowhere near unique in my example, especially on this board, but it’ll be interesting to see what else comes up.

2

The one the Buick 8 came from.

3

I’m fairly adaptable in cultural terms, but would be in serious trouble in any universe in which vision correction was not available (at last exam, I’m about -8 in each eye).

4

Yeah, I don’t think their atmosphere is compatible with survival for Earth creatures.

5

I don’t think I could survive in Bedford Falls, but I’d probably do okay in Pottersville.

6

The Homeric alternate universe depicted in Dan Simmons’ *Illium *and Olympus; everyone there is essentially a beautiful, physically perfect, superhuman violent sociopath, including the women; *especially *the women. They’d hunt me for sport.

7

Any of the universes that have supers in them.

8

The *Gor *universe. I’d get killed in five minutes for saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.

9

Not sure I’d do well in Derry, Maine.

10

There was an episode of Sliders where they slid into a world that was burning, and had to get out POST HASTE. I wouldn’t last a minute in a burning world!

11

Any world that did not have insulin and the rest of the drugs that keep me alive. I can deal without painkillers, but the stuff that makes my heart behave is pretty essential :stuck_out_tongue:

Hm, if I were healthy - I would have issues in the Cthulu universe - again I would poke my nose into the unknowable and get slabbed by something, or sent to the giggle factory in a hug me jacket. The Paranoia universe - the computer would assign me as reactor shielding for possibly being part of a conspiracy, I am a bit of a mouthy bitch and would probably say something where I could be overheard, as I am also not into blindly obeying authority. Anywhere that would burn me for being a witch, or heretic of some sort as I am an agnostic and dislike mindless authority especially if it is religious based.

12

While if a Zombie Apocalypse ever happened, My wife said she wouldn’t bother trying to survive and would end it early. I would try to survive, however.

Resident Evil zombies though? Forget it. Game over man…game over!

13

I dunno…I’d do alright in the Lovecraft universe, I think. Within the context of the stories, all the Cosmic Stuff is pretty far from being common knowledge. The main characters, as far as I remember, aren’t some schlub in the street like me who gets drawn into Forbidden Things. They are people who, through extraordinary circumstances, come to grief. For me, living in the Lovecraft universe would most likely be exactly like living in this one.

14

… And nobody ever heard of Scumpup again…

15

If I recall correctly though, a lot of them are things like folklorists, historians or researchers. I’m not formally any of those things (well, maybe a “researcher” in comp sci/AI), but I have a tendency to look up a lot of stuff, especially occult stuff and folklore because I like it. As soon as I saw a single hint of this stuff I’d be all over it and die.

I’m not worried about it finding me, I’m worried about the inevitability of me finding it.

16

I don’t think I’d do very well in Poul Anderson’s Operation Chaos / Operation Luna universe. I’d probably either be impaled by a teenager joyriding on a broomstick, or trip someone’s burglar alarm and get turned into a toad.

17

Commorragha city/pocket universe in the grimdark-to-selfparody Warhammer 40K setting.

[SPOILER]
What can one say of Commorragh, the Dark City of the Eldar? It is the embodiment of anarchy and terror. It is fear, hatred and desperation incarnate. How long I was enslaved in that timeless city, I cannot say. There is no day or night, just an eternal twilight, an ever-present ruddy glow that bathes all living things in blood light. The air is filled with screams and cruel laughter. When they put out my eyes, my ears alone still conveyed that omnipresent aura of dread and loathing."

“They took great delight in telling us what tortures and agonies they had prepared, using dread-ridden anticipation as another means to increase our suffering. When the Masters deigned to speak to us, they bought arcane machines to translate their words; they would not sully their tongues with the language of others. Most of my fellow slaves fell beneath the blades and poisons of those tortures beyond compare; the Haemonculi. Sometimes a Succubus of the Wyches would come and take the fittest to battle against brutal creatures and skilled fighters in the death of arenas. Ten men at a time, great warriors amongst humanity, would face a lone gladiator. They stood no chance against the Wyches; who delighted in toying with their foe, slashing and cutting, darting to and fro, leaving a trickle of blood with every pass. No-one dies quickly in the Dark City.”

“They prey upon each other as much as their captives. The great Kabals may hold power, but in the twisting alleys and dusk-shrouding corridors, allegiance is secondary to martial skill. To stray into the wrong territory is tantamount to suicide, running battles are fought every day, blood is spilt constantly. The ghastly Mandrakes are the worst, one wizened old slave told us. They stalk the shadows at will, plucking their victims from their homes, ambushing the unwary and slicing them to death with their claws. We were never truly imprisoned in the slave quarters, but it was clear that if we left, we would be at the mercy of the Dark City – a barrier more effective than any amount of walls, fences and razorwire.”

“They made no attempt to hide their deceitful ways, actually glorifying in treachery and betrayal. Assassination, murder and double-dealing are established ways of life to these decadents. Ownership of myself changed hands so many times that I was unsure who were my masters and who were their enemies. Some times I was stolen, other times I was traded for raw souls, given as a prize in the arena, or simply taken as a right of conquest.”

“Life is worthless in the Dark City, only pain, misery and death have value. Others I saw, humans amongst them, who took to this depraved life with natural empathy. They bowed down to the Eldar and treated them as lords, in return for favours. It is claimed that the most promising are taken as apprentices by the Haemonculi. Most end up as twisted creatures in permanent agony, but others survive and learn, to be let free again into the outside world to spread their corrupt ways.”[/SPOILER]

18

Hey guys, these worlds you’re listing are cool and all, but I think the thread would be more interesting if you stuck to what I said in the OP: If it’s a world where you’re fucked, why you’d be fucked faster than the average Joe. In addition, physical aspects are discouraged – this thread is more about what would you do that would screw you over, not just talk about why you wouldn’t survive the zombie apocalypse because you can’t run a mile without running out of breath.

(Now read that again and dial back the condescension about 900% because I cannot find a way to word that without sounding like an asshole – I mean this all in a friendly way)

19

I wouldn’t last long at all in Westeros. The moment some highborn person demanded I show them respect because of their lineage I would most likely dismissively mouth off to them and get my head chopped off for it. I’m not really good at affording people special consideration to people just because their ancestors were better at murdering than my own.

20

The question in the OP is surprisingly hard.
Personal attributes - I’m actively anti-religious and anti-monarchy. I also don’t like people much.

Universes where survival is highly correlated with religion, monarchy and people skills?

In most parts of Wheel-of-Time Randland I’d offend someone’s notion of honour/rules of the great game/sense of entitlement and get a dagger through the ribs pretty quickly.

In Anne McCaffrey’s Pern the world is just so sociable. Madness awaits there, particularly during winter or threadfall with everyone cooped up together.

Any King-Arthur centred fantasy/dark and gritty fantasy. I’d refuse to show the required respect and be beheaded or killed by a twist of fate pretty instantaneously.