Whilst at work today I did my usual mind wandering bit and put some serious thought into which fictional universe I would want to live in. I came up with the following ones and a list of pros and cons for each.
The Tarintinoverse
Pros
Get to wear cool suits
get to be a badass cool BMF criminal
get to smoke red apples and carry a gun
get to hang out with Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi and Sam Jackson
Finally get to have a really good soundtrack wherever I go
Cons
Zed and the pawn shop guy whose name I can’t remember
Mr. Orange
John Travolta
Probably would end up getting killed.
Cowboy Bebop universe
Pros
Really really cool personal space ship
get to carry a gun
also again I finally get the soundtrack I deserve
And again I get to wear a really cool suit
Cons
People shooting at me all the time
Minor characters tend to die at the end of each episode
Dammit I like Earth!
Star Wars Universe
Lightsabers and blasters,need I say more.
Yes
X-wings,Millenium Falcon and a thousand other ships
The Force
Again, a great soundtrack
On the upside, minor characters in the SW universe tend to live on forever
Cons
The Empire, Vader and the Emperor, and the Dark Side
A plethora of planet destroying super weapons
Probably end up getting killed really really fast
So which fictional universe would you rather be in?
Hmmm…I guess the default answer would be the Star Trek Federation, circa the 24th century. Mostly because of the effective utopia, easy access to holodecks, etc.
The Bubblegum Crisis 2040 universe, as anime realities go, actually seemed like an OK enough place to live.
The future earth of Transmetropolitan, in The City
Pros:
Makers
Sex Clones
Cool Weaponry
Anti-Cancer Trait and other genetic fun
Cons:
High Crime
Incredibly Corrupt Government
A new religion founded every hour
“Remember, kids, never let a Huffalo Monster have an orgasm without a garbage sack!”
Halloween Town of The Nightmare Before Christmas - I would fit in perfectly (and the music is brilliant).
Ok, Pros and cons:
Pros:
The entire population is sick, twisted and slightly odd looking.
The sun looks like a pumpkin lantern.
The music is very clever (and full of quotes).
The architecture is beautiful (if a little wonky).
There is very wide cultural diversity.
No one sings off key.
No one keeps a grudge (well almost no one).
It dosn’t matter what you look like.
No one puts you down for being dead, slime covered, hairy, smelly, blood sucking, see-through, rotting, pumpkin shaped, winged or dressed like a clown.
Everyone is materially close to equal.
Respect is earned only through work and intelligence.
Cons:
Hmmmmm…
well…
I’m sure there’s something…
Of corse!:
Ignorance - it’s everywhere in almost everyone. But it’s a far more innocent and forgivable than the type in our world.
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters
Excitement, adventure & really wild things.
Extremely long, flying parties.
Custom designed and built planets
Eccentrica Gallumbits
The Guide
I already own a towel
Cons:
Vogons
Pan-dimensional beings masquerading as Mice
War robots of Krikket
London in the 30s with the Saint’s unofficial gang.
Pros:
-Out dancing all night then bacon and eggs for breakfast
-Boodle
-Fabulous clothes, cars, and booze
-Smiting the Ungodly in hilarious and suave ways
-Teal-baiting
Cons:
-Getting hit over the head frequently enough to end up a drooling vegetable eventually
-Random imperialist/racist outbursts from one’s chums
-The likelihood that I’d have to be the klutzy comic relief in the gang.
OR
The Kamiya Kasshin dojo in Meiji Era Tokyo (from the Rurouni Kenshin series.)
Pros:
-Master an exciting fighting style with umbrella-like wooden swords
-Surrounded by gorgeous and dangerous young men who do some fabulous amounts of brooding
-Travel the countryside of Japan saving it from unscrupulous revolutionaries
Cons:
-Bad food
-Yahiko won’t shut up
-The gorgeous young men are all spoken for
-The likelihood that I’d have to the be the klutzy comic relief in the gang.
Sigh, my lack of manual dexterity really puts a damper on the universes I’d like to hang out in!
In Gondor during the reign of Elessar Telcontar. That way I’d get to hang out with the elves who moved with Legolas to Ithilien, visit the Glittering Caves to say “hi” to Gimli and his folk, plus get the chance to get to know Arwen’s daughters! Merry and Pippin would drop in occasionally, and so would Sam and family.
So, all the benefits of the Fourth Age, along with the chance to hob-nob the remaining “end of the third age big wheels”, and also meet races who will be exiting the stage permanently.
