Act 1
My daughter, the result of my first attempt at producing offspring, comes home from school. She’s at the age where she’s starting to spread her wings a bit, try new things, test some limits.
Today’s test : dirty words.
“Hey, dad … wanna know what our math teacher told us today?”
“What?”, the guy with the God complex asketh of her.
“He told us where the word ‘shit’ came from.”
I pantomime shock in the “Oh my God” way that parents often do, but I’m also curious here. “What did he say?”
So, she tells me the story of how it’s actually an acronym for “Ship High in Transit” and gives some sort of shaggy dog story about ancient exploding boats or some such thing. Being familiar with the legends that have grown up around the supposed acronyms for “fuck,” this sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. And I tell her so.
“But my teacher told me!”
This calls for an intervention. I bring her over to the computer and we do a search on Snopes and sure shootin’, it is a base canard.[sub]1[/sub] Go me. She asks me if I should show this to her teacher and I say “Of course! Never be afraid to question your teachers.”
So, we print out the article and she says that she’s going to show it to him tomorrow. What she hasn’t told me is that this specific teacher is handicapped and in a wheelchair. So, she reads over the article again, so proud of herself for finding the answer and says,
“I’m really going to feel bad doing this to a cripple but … oh well.”
I lost it. 
More later … it gets more interesting
1 : According to Harlan Ellison, a base canard is the bottom of a seaside pyramid of athletic French ducks. Or something.