Whoa! lot’s of replies here. I have a lot of clarification to do. I will try to keep everything straight as I can, because it is a VERY confusing ordeal. The whole situation is like a Jerry Springer style soap opera mini-series. It’s easy to get things mixed up.
I guess the best place to start is with the basics and move chronologically from there. PLEASE accept my apologies for the length, but under the circumstances, it is necessary.
[li]The husband/sailor I have known for 16 years. We went to high school together. We were once very close friends, but have pretty much gone our separate ways, and aren’t on the best of terms anymore. I haven’t communicated with him in well over a year.[/li]
[li]The wife of the sailor, I have known since he and she first began dating. I have known her a possible minimum of 11 years. They have been married approximately a little over five years.[/li]
[li]The children: This woman has three children. The infant boy, is about 3 months old now. She has a two year old daughter and another son, six years old.[/li]
[li]The infants’ paternity: The woman has submitted DNA testing for the infant and should get the results soon. There are allegedly three possibilities of the father: The husband (not very likely), the druggie guy who is 39 (highly likely), and another guy who is 19 (fairly likely). The woman has told me that the “druggie” guy, if proven father, will attempt to legally litigate for custody rights, or visitation of some sort.[/li]
[li]The infants’ origin: The woman alleges that she was “taken advantage of” after partying with a group of friends and she had too much to drink and was passed out. I was not associating with her when that happened. However, I know this woman very well, and I find it ludicrous that she could have been “taken advantage of.” She is very promiscuous by nature, and I know firsthand that she is often the aggressor/initiator. (I have never been involved with her physically nor romantically in any way, and adamantly refuse to be. I won’t even shake hands with her.)[/li]
[li]Female’s character history: very promiscuous. Openly has admitted to her family, friends, and I, to having had multiple affairs. The paternity of her older two children remains unknown, but presumably, only the girl is the sailor’s child. No DNA testing has ever been performed on the older children. She did not have any children prior to her present (and only) marriage. Although she is “wild” she, herself, does NOT do drugs or use marijuana.(at least not to my knowledge). She does drink rather occasionally, but not habitually, and not while caring for the children.[/li]
[li]I have never met, nor seen, the alleged “druggie” father. What I know of him, is only what she and her sister have told me about him. His drug of choice is marijuana, which is what he allegedly has been smoking in the infants presence. The “druggie” currently has NO legal rights of any sort to be involved with the child. She allows him to visit and has apparently allowed him to baby-sit the infant as well. She assumes (without proof) he is the father, and has some looney idea that this gives him “rights” without any current legal actions. She claims she doesn’t even LIKE this guy, but yet she keeps allowing him to visit her and the baby, and allowing herself to go out with “druggie.”[/li]
[li]The sailor, upon initially receiving the news of her most recent pregnancy, and the affairs she has had, allegedly attempted suicide, with a knife, while serving at sea, but was apprehended by fellow sailors who stopped him. This would be his second suicide attempt to my knowledge. At first he did not want to have anything to do with the infant. I’m not sure where he stands now on that issue.[/li]
[li]None of the children are being physically, or verbally abused, to my knowledge, nor show any symptoms or signs of such. The two year old daughter is in care of the woman’s parents the majority of the time. Her parents are pretty decent people, but they are not social or friendly at all. Her parents and I do not even speak to one another. I have no idea why. If I say hi to them they just ignore me. I theorize that they think their daughter is boinking every man she can, and assume that includes me, which it does not.[/li]
[li]The infant receives medical care, and physician checkups on a regular basis, and as needed. She never hesitates to seek medical attention for the infant. I know this for a fact.[/li]
[li]She has recently admitted to me that she is “falling in love” with me. I have stopped visiting her because of many reasons, but this one takes the cake. I have repeatedly told her I am not interested, even to the point of being brutally honest and mean. She seems to “block it out” though. I no longer accept her telephone calls. The only communication I currently allow is via instant messages, which I am archiving completely if needed for any kind of “proof.” She hasn’t resorted to anything “stalker-like,” but remains a moderate nuisance. I refuse to associate with her outside of instant messaging, and even that I have to cut-off often when she gets out-of-line. :eek:[/li]
The most recent news I have is that they are getting a divorce. I don’t know if anything legal is in the works yet, but it looks pretty certain at this point that it will soon. It’s also a possibility that the sailor may seek custody of the two eldest children.