I’ve never been to any cons, but I have been hearing about Filk for years – a genre of sci-fi/fantasy themed folk music, often involving parodies of popular songs. I once tried to write a piece of Filk, but it was poorly received, because few people seemed to be familiar with the tune it was based on. I’m posting it here for the amusement of those who are.
To the tune of Bob Dylan’s Ballad of a Thin Man:
Ballad of the Lost Ark
You walk out of the jungle with your whip in your hand
You see a stream of light and you say, “Stay out of it, man”
You tried to warn him but he didn’t understand
Just remember your hat when you go
He said, "Something is happening here but you don’t know what it is.
Do you, Dr. Jones?
You run from the temple and say, “Throw me the whip.”
He says, “Throw me the idol or you might lose your grip”
So you throw him the idol but he don’t throw the whip.
He says, “I got something here you used to own
And something is happening and you don’t know what it is
Do you, Dr. Jones?”
You step on a trap and you know you can’t stall
Or else you’ll get crushed by a big rolling ball
And outside the frenchman has you up against a wall
He says, “Everything is mine, you can’t have nothing for your own.
Because something is happening here but you don’t know what it is
do you, Dr. Jones?”
You have a plane waiting with a snake in the back
You tell the pilot, “Get rid of it, Jack.
You better start the engines or get a blowdart in the back
Cause I don’t speak the tongue and they’ve got powerful lungs
And they don’t give me no respect, cause I don’t cut 'em any checks
But what do you expect, just fly me back to civilization.”
Now you’re the professor and the girls all like your looks
There’s a girl in the classroom that’s really got you shook
Cause she sits in the front row and she ain’t thinking about books
And the government agent groans
He says, “Something is happening here but we don’t know what it is.
Do you, Dr. Jones?”
So you flew off to China to catch an old flame
She says, “Damn you, Indy, you oughta be ashamed.
Nazis burned down my tavern, and you are to blame.
If you want my medallion, you better bring me along.
And you know something is happening but you don’t know what it is
Do you, Dr. Jones?”
So you make it to Egypt and you’re wondering how
To find the Well of Lost Souls, and you run afowl
Of Hitler’s thugs but you’ve got the jump on them anyhow
You know they’re digging the wrong hole
Cause there’s writing on the amulet and they don’t know what it is
Do they, Dr. Jones?
Well you find the Ark and the Nazis attack
And you use a bazooka trying to get the Ark back
But they tie you to a tree with Marion at your back
“Close your eyes, girl, they’re about to be shown.”
Cause something is happening and you know just what it is
Don’t you, Dr. Jones?
