Some real doozies came up in this thread: Let’s post the stupidest Wikipedia articles we can find! My vote goes to Miller’s “Andy Griffith” contribution.
For the record, I have had Soviet-style mayonnaise.
I had no idea something of this ilk had been tried before. My apologies.
Maybe you could add to the Wikipedia article, then.
This is a life-changing experience for me.
For years I have been reading these boards. For years I have considered commenting on the weighty issues of the day. And for years I have suffered low self-esteem at my failure to do so because of my transparent lack of intellect and fear of exposure as a charlatan. I have perforce confined myself to the margins of academia one so often encounters in this particular forum.
Not any more.
I now know more about mayonnaise, and containers for same, than anyone else in my house. If anyone wants to debate this point they know what to do. More straightforward enquiries, requiring a factual answer, may be submitted to the ‘General Questions’ forum. Questions concerning mayonnaise in the arts and literature worlds go in ‘Cafe Society’. The ‘BBQ Pit’ is for people who hate mayonnaise and don’t care who knows it, whereas ‘About This Mayonnaise Board’ is the forum where administrative issues relating to all aspects of mayonnaise can be discussed.
And now, two mercifully short items on the subject of mayonnaise as a fetish.
Firstly, in this piece photographer Paul McCarthy discusses an issue the meaning of which completely escapes me:
I don’t think that requires any clarification from me.
Secondly, I am pleased to present to you the Sandwich/Burger/Jacket Potato menu for the London Fetish Fair, held on 12 March 2006 at a venue known as the Prodigal. I would be surprised if this link was safe for any but the most understanding of working environments.
My bolding.
Finally I would just like to note that the second hand goods stall at the Fetish Fair was called ‘2nd Coming’.
Why apologize? It’s still fun, and you’ve given us the gist of the mayonnaise jar. 
Um, make that the gift of the mayonnaise jar. I think I had the gist of it already.
In Soviet Russie, mayonnaise spreads you!
It’s interesting to see relatively inoccuous Wikipedia articles take a sudden nosedive (if you’ll excuse the pun in this context) into the realm of the shocking and scatalogical. Try Nasal mucous for instance, which you will discover if you search for “boogers”.
It starts off properly (if a bit too obviously) enough:
But by the time we near the end:
I suspect the author may have had a hidden agenda, a puerile desire to see the word “boogie” enshrined in a “legitimate” encyclopedia article, and he or she is probably still sniggering about it to this day. Sadly, this attempt, besides providing some childish yucks, does relatively little to inform. I suppose some pre-teens will get a kick out of learning “boogers” are technically referred to as “regoliths”, but beyond that, it’s a rather content-starved offering.
Hah! Rhinoliths! Sorry. I was reading an article about lunar soil over lunch.
Related to mucus is rhinotillexomania.
I need to stop surfing the SDMB and Wikipedia in class.
Robin
This reminds me of my wife’s favorite: Tonsilloliths (Warning: TMI picture in article!)
In Wikipedia, Russians, reverse you!!!
AFAICT, the article on [url;=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_Religious_Ethics”]Comparative Religious Ethics is totally vaaccuous.
Some dud’s college essay on Freud.
Ah but to truly understand the mayonnaise jar, one must go the same article in the Russian Wikipedia. There you will find the various uses to which the jar could be put (ashtray, vase, growing green onions at home, urine samples, toothbrush holder), and samples of poetry (“Mayonnaise jars have inspired many poets…”).
I’ve lived here for years, and never knew.
Thank you, Surok
Beware the giant tonsillolith!!! It eats kittens and smells like bad kimchi!
It’s been so long since I’ve seen an adult with a digit shoved way the hell up his nose. I had a streak for about a year when it seemed like almost every day, during my morning commute, I’d glance about innocently and see at least one grown man or woman in another car with their index finger jammed up in there to the second knuckle.
Some of them even ate. It was dire. I felt like a very captive audience to a horror show.
Then it just stopped, for some reason; or maybe I got good at subconsciously reacting to peripheral visual stimuli such that my gaze was preemptively averted, I don’t know. I was relatively happy, and at peace, once again.
Thanks for the flashback.
You’re assuming that there’s such a thing as good kimchi.
Robin
Knuckles the Echidna. It’s not bad, per se, but it’s one of the longest Wiki articles I’ve ever seen.
Thank you, Timchik.
It never occurred to me to look at the Russian version. Having done so, I must now go and write a ode to mayonnaise jars.