A friend sent this to me, and we thought it would be fun if Dopers would add their own.
What do you do if you find a fly in your coffee cup?
If you’re BRITISH – You pour out the coffee. Go without.
If you’re AMERICAN – You dig out the fly. Drink the coffee.
If you’re CHINESE – You eat the fly. Pour out the coffee.
If you’re JAPANESE – You drink the coffee with the fly. Hey, it was Free!
If you’re ISRAELI – You sell the fly to a Chinese, the coffee to an american. Buy fresh cup of coffee.
If you’re PALESTINIAN – You blame the Israelis for throwing the fly into the coffee in the first place. Call it unacceptable violence. Ask for U.N. intervention in the matter. Ask E.U. for a loan to buy a fresh cup of coffee. Use the money to buy explosives.
A friend and I added:
If you’re E. INDIAN - you ask forgiveness of the fly in case it might be reincarnated to someone you will know. Then dump the coffee and make a proper cup of tea.
If you are Southern, pick the fly out of the coffee, dip it in a flour/egg/cracker batter and fry it up good, then add lots of sugar to the coffee and maybe even a little bit of milk. You probably wouldn’t drink the coffee with your fried fly since you’d be drinking a beer with it, but afterwards you might have a sup of it.
If you’re a FLY, you make love to the other fly, then you both relax in the coffee-flavored hot tub.
If you’re a McDonald’s worker, you warn the fly that the coffee is hot.
If you’re a Starbucks barista, you add a lot of syrup, milk, and foam. Then you charge extra for the fly (after you look up a French name for it.)
If you’re a press secretary, you deny that there was ever a fly problem, and announce that your boss has appointed a commission to do a 6-year study of the coffee industry.
If you are a Taoist, you say, “It must be my day to have a fly. This will be interesting.”
If you are a Jehovah’s Witness, you say, “Praise the Lord, I’m being persecuted. This will make me more holy.”
…you ask the fly “are you a fly because you fly, or do you fly because you’re a fly?” and talk to it for 20 minutes before discovering a fascinating mark on your hand.
If you’re CANADIAN – You dig out the fly. Drink the coffee. Tell your friends visiting from Detroit that Canadian flies are much cleaner than American flies, so you don’t worry about disease.
If you’re Korean, you’d look at the cup in disgust and say, “I didn’t come to North America for this!! Are YOUR children in Harvard med, you filthy bastard?!?”
:dubious: If you’re British you assume flies in coffee are some new vulgar American trend. You are not surprised. You then demand tea (politely of course).
