"Spare a single fly's life, you save the world entire" - A fly-in-the-ointment poll

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay. So, the scene is dinner. The setting, outdoors.

Purely hypothetically, [del]I[/del] someone is drinking from an open glass of orange juice she just poured from a now-empty container. (It’s Tropicana, not that it matters.)

While drinking, the person turns away to pick up a half of a sandwich. When she turns back to her drink, she discovers a tiny fly has landed on the top of the liquid, still alive.

This person is, shall we say, rather sensitive to killing living creatures, even bugs. I know, I know, it’s crazy because it’s just a bug, but I never said [del]I’m not[/del] she wasn’t crazy.

Further, our hypothetical bleeding-heart heroine is thirsty and was really looking forward to that juice (of which there is no more left). However, she’s also grossed out at the thought of drinking something that a bug, even a tiny one, was floating in for a few seconds.

In this set of circumstances, what do you do?

  • Toss the whole thing out, it’s basically toxic (not literally but it feels that way)

  • Scoop the fly out, kill it, and drink–invoking the ‘5-second rule’?

  • Scoop the fly out so it’s alive and can fly away, then toss the drink out

  • Scoop the fly out so it’s alive and can fly away, then drink, again invoking the ‘5-second rule’?

  • Scoop the fly out so it’s alive and can fly away, then sit and gnaw nervously at your sandwich, looking in longing at the glass for fifteen minutes in an unpleasant combo of thirst and nausea, and eventually be pathetic enough to seek the advice of others?

No points awarded for guessing what our hopelessly dithering heroine’s choice has been.

2

So no drink the juice fly and all option?

I would scoop the bug out, give it a flick and drink the juice without a second thought.

3

Ha! No, I didn’t even think of the “add a little extra protein as part of this balanced nutritional meal” option.

Not a second thought at all?! I envy you, and I mean that seriously. I can hardly imagine anything I do without mentally going through a deliberation process that would rival the ratification of the U.S. Constitution.

4

Yeah, I was like is this even a question? I’ve never thrown a drink out for having just one fly (or ant) in it before, not even a glass of water. If there were several flies, maybe.

5

Pull the fly out, chug the glass, then choke the little bugger over my mouth, saying “Spiiiiit it out!!”

6

I would toss the drink in such a way that the fly lives, and then get another drink.

7

Me too. Once the bug was freed I might consider drinking it anyway if it was a different insect, but flies love hanging out on crap.

8

I couldn’t care less if the fly lives or not. Which ever is easiest, killing it or shewing it away is the option I’m going for. Then, I’ll drink the OJ.

9

Other. Scoop out the fly so it can fly away, and ignore the 5-second rule, drink at your convenience. But answer #4 is close enough.

10

I’d probably just toss the drink without giving it too much thought. If you’re that worried about picking the bug out so it lives, consider that it probably has a better chance of living if you just toss the drink in the grass then it does if you start trying to pick it out.

OTOH, if the glass is big enough that I can get a ‘handful’ of liquid around the bug and I notice it right away, I’ll probably do that. Actually, make that a spoonful, I don’t really want to stick my hand in OJ. But if I have no idea how long it’s been swimming around in there and nothing to grab it with, I’m not going to feel bad about tossing it and not going to drink it, out it goes.

11

I would scoop the fly out and drink (unless, perhaps, it was a very large fly, but you said tiny), and would make no effort to kill the fly. However, I answered “Other” because (a) I very much doubt whether a tiny fly, in those circumstances, is going to survive whatever I do, and (b) the “five second rule” has no bearing on what I would do: as I understand it, the rule involves the ground, and so wouldn’t be relevant even if I believed in it. I am going by the tiny size rule here, not the five second rule (which I thought was three seconds anyway).

12

Are we talking a housefly, or something tiny like a gnat? If it was a housefly I wouldn’t drink it but if it was a teeny tiny bug I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

The poll reminds me of a joke I heard one time. An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar, they all three sit down and order a pint. A fly lands in the Englishman’s beer and he looks at it disgustedly and pushes it away. A fly lands in the Irishman’s beer, he plucks the fly out and flicks it away, then shrugs and continues drinking. A fly lands in the Scotsman’s beer, he plucks the fly out, then holds it over his glass yelling “Spit it out! Spit it out ya bastard!”

13

I’m confused - am I pouring the OJ for the hypothetical wouldn’t-kill-a-fly fairy princess, who also wouldn’t drink OJ that has had a fly in it?

If so, I’d rescue the fly and ditch the OJ.

If it was for me, I’d pick out the fly and drink the juice, if it was a gnat. If it was a bluebottle, I’d toss the whole lot in the hedge and if the fly lives, so be it.

14

Other.

Scoop the fly out, not give a damn whether it’s alive or not, wipe the rim and then enjoy my drink.

15

Heh. Enjoyable responses, guys. To answer the question, it was like the size of a fruit fly, I guess?

In the end, our heroine–oh, screw the embarrassment–I chose save the fly, got some water instead to slake my thirst, waited a couple of hours angsting, and then said fuck it and drank the juice. And it was good.

Now, to those who say it’s likely impossible to save the bug anyway…

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Choie’s Method for Saving Bugs in Liquid:

For those of you who might be curious, which I suspect is very few, here’s the trick I used for the fly. Being a bug-saver from way back (seriously I’m like some kinda Hindu benefactress of the insect/bug realm*), I’ve developed a few methods because I just cannot bear the thought of seeing something die, much less having inadvertently caused it by… I dunno, existing.

If a bug/insect is swimming/floating alive in liquid, you take either a very thin piece of paper, or better yet a thin paper napkin, and place it gently very near the fly (or whatever it is). The liquid’s surface tension is likely what’s keeping the bug afloat. So what you want to do is very carefully break through the surface tension as shallowly as possible, and as close to the bug as possible without actually touching it. This way, the bug is sorta drawn into the napkin along with the tiny amount of liquid. The bug crawls up onto the napkin now that it finally has some purchase.

Take the napkin out of the glass/bowl/whatever and lay it down somewhere so that the bug is on top (obviously, or you’ve just wasted your rescue efforts). If the liquid is thin/watery, it’s likely that the bug will crawl or fly away. If it isn’t, it may need to dry off a bit first.

This method has helped me save little moths who’ve flown into liquid, which is pretty impressive since they’re so incredibly delicate. With them, you have to set the paper aside and let it dry, as their wings need time to recover.

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Before anyone says anything, I know how crazy neurotic this sounds. I am very, very aware that this is more effort than a normal person would go through, and I’m a freak worthy of mocking. I cop to everything. I’ve actually explained my agita when it comes to bug-killing before (it doesn’t help that I went through a period of depression–well, I still have that, but it’s being controlled–where I was a severe hoarder/clutterer and bugs were rife in my apartment; severe trauma occurred when I knew I had to clean and that meant facing the fact that it was either a clean apartment/dead bugs or a disaster area/bug haven).

The fear of dealing with that Sophie’s Choice dilemma is a big part of what keeps me from reverting to my messy ways.

This extreme over-empathy for creatures gets wearying and makes life difficult at such times. I don’t want to look at/see bugs because, y’know, they’re icky and unhealthy. Plus they scare me. But I live in NYC and, well, bugs are gonna be visiting at some point or another. (Although I’m happy to say that despite living in a building right above a popular restaurant, I’ve never seen a cockroach in twenty years of living here. The main crawly-things we’ll get are the occasional spiders or more plentiful mosquitos.)

All this said, I figure if I can keep something alive that’s not bothering me/dangerous in any way, I’ll do it.

Okay, enough heavy talk. The drink wasn’t wasted, the bug flew off with a new awareness of the preciousness of life, and this morning I [del]woke up with the bubonic plague[/del] have suffered no ill consequences as far as I can see. And the juice really hit the spot! So thank you all for your input. :slight_smile:

  • It’s not religion that keeps me from being able to kill bugs, as I’m agnostic leaning more on the atheist side than anything else. At the root of my problem is a ridiculously high level of empathy for living creatures, particularly those under my direct control. I just can’t shake the feeling that I have no right to exercise the power of life or death over something else; it seems so random and unfair. And yep, I’m a big fat hypocrite because I totally eat meat without a second thought. But like I said, it’s mostly the direct hands-on notion of having to do the job myself that ties me up in knots of anxiety. Maybe there’s also a karma element involved? If I save a bug maybe I won’t die randomly? I have no idea.
16

For a tiny fly, I’d scoop it out and let it live, then drink the juice. If it was a housefly I’d scoop it out and not care whether it lived or not (though I wouldn’t actively kill it) and probably not drink the juice–houseflies are dirty! Though if I was thirsty enough and there wasn’t any more juice or other drinkage to be had, I’d probably get a spoon and scoop out the top “layer” of juice and chuck it, then drink the rest.

I don’t like to kill anything if I don’t have to. No religious thing at all–I just don’t like ending anything’s life. That said, I don’t get overly upset if I accidentally step on a bug. And if something’s crawling on me (especially a spider), all bets are off!

17

I voted “kill the fly then drink”, but this is probably a more accurate description of how I’d feel.

18

That is crazy neurotic, sorry.

I answered the poll that I’d take the fly out alive and then drink. However, that’s really because I’m not paying any attention to the fly at all. I’ll flick it out of the drink, away from anything I wouldn’t want a dead fly on - maybe a sink or the trash if I’m indoors. Frankly, I’d kind of prefer that the fly die, but I’m not really going to spend any time trying to kill it. I’m in the middle of enjoying my juice and I’m not going to let a fly get in the way.

19

I don’t get the question. Why would I do anything? It’s the girl who just poured herself a drink’s decision.

20

Me too.

It would be different for me if the fly had possibly been there awhile, or was dead. In either of those cases, I’d regard the whole glass as contaminated, and chuck the contents of the glass over the deck rail and into the woods, fly and all.

But since it’s only been there for a few seconds at most, if I can scoop the fly out with a spoon, I’m gonna say any OJ that the fly contaminated with its presence was also scooped up in the spoon, and the rest of the glass is good.