Just a word of caution - don’t ever leave one of those frozen Toaster Strudel things in your brand new Black and Decker toaster
oven, while you sit patiently at your computer waiting for the SDMB home page to load. Now if I can just make something explode in the microwave, my day will be complete.
Coming soon to a kitchen near you - Cajun blackened Toaster Strudel!
(yeah, I used the “medium” setting, thanks for asking)
I thought the OP was about the habañero laced burrito you ate… yesterday.
Or when jarbaby was smoking on the toilet…
Also, don’t leave an egg to hardboil in a pan of water until the water dries out. It will explode, sending egg parts flying up to ten feet.
Ooog – that’s gotta smell nice.
A housemate recently left a guinea fowl in the oven to cook, shut the kitchen door and forgot about it until the fire alarms went off. The bird was a briquette, the air in the kitchen was opaque, and it took a week of scrubbing to get the smell out of the linoleum.
In a previous residence another housemate got a piece of bread stuck in the toaster, which then caught fire. A sensible person might have unplugged the toaster and put it in the sink under the tap, or something similar. The decidedly unsensible housemate unplugged the toaster and threw it out the (second floor) kitchen window. A novel approach, I’m sure you’ll agree.
My wife’s method of cooking pasta used to be:
Begin boiling pot full of water.
Go play Might & magic for an hour.
When you go down to get a drink of water, notice that the water is mostly boiled away.
Pour pasta into water, even though there’s hardly enough water left to cover the pasta.
Go play Might & Magic for another hour.
Get takeout from the Thai restaurant around the corner.
Many years ago a stewed roommate put a boil-in bag in a very old (belonged originally to my grandmother) one-quart Revereware sauce pan and promptly went to sleep. At about 3 a.m. I smelled smoke and rushed to the kitchen to see the copper bottom of the pan honest-to-God RED HOT!! Whatever was in the boil-in bag looked like a relic from the Pompeii exhibit. I still have the pan to this day and you would never know about it’s molten episode. I guess that says a lot for Revereware, if not for the ex-roommate.
I had a high school girlfriend burn up a Sports Illustrated while baking me a birthday cake. Caught fire.
If you put a raw egg, still in its unbroken shell, into the microwave and turn the microwave on, it will take only ten seconds or so for the egg to explode, splattering the inside of the microwave with perfectly-cooked scrambled eggs.
Or, uh, that’s what I heard.
Had she been reading it, or looking for photo reference for the decoration?
That is SO. COOL.
::runs off::
OK, my microwave takes about 6-8 minutes to bake a potato.
Put the spud in and set the timer for 80 minutes by accident, go watch tv, fall asleep and wake up to the worst evil smell in the world. The potato was light as a balloon with a jet of black smoke coming out one end.
Mom killed a microwave cooking bacon once, the grease caught some paper towels on fire. Very impresive near total meltdown of the interior, I must say.
Has anyone ever put a bar of Dial soap in the micro? It puffs up and looks quite nifty.
Be careful with those eggs Buckleberry! Sometimes the little boogers wait till they’re outside the microwave to explode and that’s not nearly so much fun.
Don’t ever put a closed, glass bottle of pasta sauce in the microwave for too long.
Kaboom.
Y’know that plastic semi-transparent window thing on most microwaves? Not glass proof.
Heh. This isn’t experience speaking or anything…
Toasting marhmallows in the microwave isn’t a good idea either. After you try this, you may think it’s too much trouble to clean the marshmallow goo out of those little vent holes inside the microwave. If so, continue using microwave for several days, and you should be able to poke former goo out with a toothpick. Just ignore the gaggingly sweet charred odor during those several days.
Grapes, if cut in half and placed cut side down in a microwave, will spark very nicely before catching fire.
My friends and I would do this with the microwaves at school when we were bored during lunch.
Try peeling off a little skin from each one and putting them side by side, barely touching. I usually do the “stem” areas, so that they look like they’re kissing!
My mom’s boyfriend, who had established a good reputation as a wonderful cook in our household 
one day completely ruined a pot of his- He was boiling some red potatoes and forgot about them (watching a football game, no less! :rolleyes: ) and when he noticed the acrid smell and returned, the water had boiled away and the potatoes MELTED THROUGH THE POT!
I never knew that red potatoes, when subjected to sufficient heat (and negligence) could burn through half an inch of stainless steel! :eek:
Also, its been personal experience that Chocolate Fudge Pop tarts have a tendency to spontaneously combust when in even relatively stable toasting environments- it should be warned not to subject Kellogs Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts to open flame or any heat source! 
By the way, does anybody know what the flash point of chocolate fudge is??? 
I pretty much gave up cooking after two boiling pasta events like the ones above. Both were of the: “home-from-work-drinkbeer-boilwater-check-email-fall-asleep” variety.
The second one I woke up at 11pm with an apartment full of smoke, frantically putting wet towels under the front door so the hall smoke alarm WOULDN’T go off. There’s a fish tank in front of the stove now, and the door can only be opened enough to admit a tray of tater tots.