First Annual Contest to Select My Wall Calendar for this Year

Ten days into the new year and I still don’t have a wall calendar. I keep glancing at the empty space whenever I want to know technical things like the day or date, and the empty spot where my 2004 calendar was hung stares back at me. It mocks me. Oh, how it mocks me.

Anyway, I finally figured out what calendar I want, nay, must have. I want a Superman calendar. Not just any Superman calendar. It must be from the old, animated series. It was so art deco-y, very chic. Alas, the calendar is nowhere to be found. Well, it may be, but cursory Google, Amazon and Barnes & Noble searches yielded none.

So, I thought it would be fun (for me, at least) to let you select my 2005 wall calendar. Here are the rules:

1. No cutesy shit. No puppies, kittens, angels, babies dressed as puppies, kitten or angels, etc.

2. No inspirational sayings. I really couldn’t care any less about how the word team lacks the letter I. I don’t want a Demotivators calendar, either.

3. It must be a wall calendar. Daily calendars are too much work. I forget to tear off a few days and, bam, it’s 20th, but my calendar tells me it’s the 14th. Everyone knows calendars never lie so I believe it and the next thing you know I’ve missed my own birthday. I won’t let that happen. Not again.

I like black and white photography, especially of an architectural nature. I like fashion sketches from the 20s and 30s (twentieth century). I like, oh, I forget the artist, but I think his works were art deco, urban, very dark…kind of futuristic but from the viewpoint of an early-twentieth century artist. You know, what-his-face. I like Japanese brush stoke paintings - minimalist yet graceful. I like Japanese/Chinese watercolor works, too. I like the works of Charles Sheeler and Hopper, too.

I know, I’m all over the map.

Thank in advance for the suggestions. I promise to buy a calendar based on one lucky winner’s suggestion.

Oh, and here’s a link to the 2005 version of my 2004 calendar, may she rest in peace.

I don’t know that artist, but he sounds like someone I would love! I’d be interested to find out too.

Hey, if you’re a fan of the '40s Superman cartoons (I assume you mean those and not the equally outstanding '90s cartoons that were also art deco-influenced), you can get them on DVD at Target for $1 a disc. There are two separate DVDs, and each contain 8 episodes. Consider the Fleischer and Famous Studios only produced 17 Superman cartoons in total during those years, getting 16 out of the 17 on DVD for $2 is one of life’s great bargains!

Really? Cool! I’m going to check that out tonight.

As to my contest, I see it’s not getting off to a very good start. Do I need to offer some sort of prize as an incentive? I thought knowing you’d selected the calendar I’ll be looking at for the next eleven and a half months was prize enough.

I found one last year that I just loved, Among Trees. Apparently, they have a 2005 Among Trees version.

Here you go, sweetie. Now you’ll feel like a virginal braniac every day of the year.

Are you trying to give me nightmares, Munch? For some reason, your calendar reminds me of The X Files and Tales from the Darkside. I’m not sure why, though…

Hey, don’t worry - they’re not all creepy photos from the misty woods. There’s also a lot of driftwood, aspens, etc. Borders should have one on the rack if you want to page through it. Did you click on the “back cover” link to see the other months?

If you don’t like that one, this one should be right at the complete opposite end of the calendarian spectrum.

Ha! That was hilarious, completely unexpected. If no one else suggests something (I’m ignoring you, lieu), I will buy a chicken calendar.

I know it’s bad form to pimp for another poster, but maybe you should check out some of JinWicked’s calendars.

I’ll start this out with, I sell calendars. I work at bookstore, which is a cool college student gig, except depending on the time of day and number of people on staff, I may get exiled to the calendar kiosk for anywhere from 45 minutes to my whole freaking shift. The one with the futuristic art sounds like H. R. Greyer or something like that. We had it for a while. If you like black and white photography, you might want to get the Ansel Adams one, if you can find any left, but I’ll warn you, they are larger than the average calendar and run about 18.95, but expect to get 50% off this late in the game. Now we carry these lovely, large wall calenders printed on nice watercolor like paper in Japanese wood block and other equally artistic lines. These are also toward the upper end of calendar prices. There are several great architecture ones out this year, notable New York and Chicago. And gorgeous views. I fell in love with the Greek Islands ones. Or, for that feel of old cartoons, there is a Betty Boop one that’s rather nice.

Don’t even bother trying to get anything made by Lang at this point, as every desperate housewife needs one to go the freaking frames that I have not, and likely never will, see. Oh, and forget Thomas Kinkade and all of his manufactured kitch and all of the people that are so damn particular about calendars. I actually had a woman refuse to buy a calendar because she didn’t like the fact that last year, the days were in a cream color, but this year it was more off white. Working retail is a source of constant amusement. I can’t wait to go back to being a chemist.

I saw this one in a bookstore the other day.

Yup, saw that one when I found the extraordinary chicken calendar. It was truly a toss-up on which one to post. Good form!

You know you need an Opus calendar. I scored mine at Barnes and Noble, but I had to do some digging - they had some bins out in addition to those on the racks and that’s what you had to search through.

Barring that, get a Dr. Seuss one. Rocks - that was my 2004 calendar.

Other than that, I got nothin’.

Let’s see what we’ve got:

Trees: Too creepy
Chickens: That one ought to throw 'em for a loop. Of course, I have no idea who ‘them’ is…
Nun having fun: Funny! I like it.
JinWicked: Very nice.
Opus: Nah
Dr. Seuss: Fun. I’d consider this one.
Paris Hilton: Oh, wait. I’m supposed to be ignoring lieu. Scratch this one.

I’m still deciding on the prize. Obviously it will have to be some sort of Baltimore schwag. Maybe I’ll send the winner 1 (one) steamed crab. Via USPS 2 - 3 day priority.
Yes, I’ll use bubble wrap. Sheesh.

How about these (classic graphic art) :

http://www.calendars.com/category.asp?TID={ACB832B5-53B3-4C42-8273-03D6411CDC2B}&PID=1&MGID=2691

Kind of like what you had last year.

Or these:

http://www.calendars.com/results.asp?PID=1&MGID=8943

Black and white photography.

The nun calendar brought up some good links:

Bad Jobs: http://www.calendars.com/xq/asp/PID.1/MGID.18/IID.17472/qx/product.htm
Naked Farmers: http://www.calendars.com/xq/asp/TID.{110703DE-665F-431F-9DC3-ED428A09C9E8}/PID.1/MGID.3922/IID.19641/qx/product.htm