Bear in mind it needn’t be the thing the previous poster mentioned, though that’s fine if you wish.
I can’t remember the **first ** time I punched someone, but I’m sure I was less than 10 years old when it happened; probably less than five. My older brother and I used to get into fistificuffs, which I’d usually start; given that he’s six years older than me, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.
But I definitely remember the **last ** time I punched someone. It was freshman year in college. I was with a group of my friends, eight or ten of us who always had breakfast and dinner together that first year in the dorm.
In this group, fairly evenly divided sexually, there was a girl, “Marie,” who had a serious crush on one of the guys, “Jeremy.” Marie, I always thought, was gorgeous, though she was somewhat under-endowed in terms of mammary glands. Jeremy didn’t return her affection for her and called her “Super-Virgin” behind her back. At any rate, one Friday night we were assembled in my room, eating pizza and drinking beer, when Jeremy out of the blue started flirting with Marie. This clearly delighted her, and the smile on her face was a thing of beauty. After about ten minutes of this flirting, Jeremy said, “Marie, do you know how come I’ve never asked you out?”
“No,” she said. “How come?”
“Because it’s so hard to tell your front from your back,” he said. “You really should write ‘This side up in case of rape’ on your chest.”
The group froze. Marie started crying. And, having six sisters, it was my considered opinion that Jeremy’s character would improve if someone broke his nose.
It was worth being on probation for the rest of the semester.
Anybody else got a first/last pair to share?