I just talked to our daughter, and learned that a very close friend died on Monday. His wife isn’t in any shape to contact people, and his daughter didn’t have our contact info. His daughter texted my daughter today and let her know. I lost both parents a few years ago, but this is the first time losing a close friend. He’d been battling health issues for the entire time I’ve known him (over 30 years), and it’s kind of amazing he held on this long. Anyway, it’s a real jolt.
My sympathies. I know how you feel.
I recall the first time this happened to me. There was a fellow I had worked with. And though I had moved on to another job, we remained friends and often had lunch. This was the early '90s. We shared an offbeat sense of humor. We were both fans of SCTV, Monty Python and “Dr. Strangelove.” One Thursday I thought of calling him about lunch, but I decided it was too late and decided to call him the next week. Saturday morning, reading the newspaper with my morning coffee, I was shocked to see his death notice. He had died Thursday night, in his sleep, of a heart attack.
I could barely hold it together at his funeral, I was so shaken. Afterwards I went home, as depressed as I could be. To relax, I turned on HBO. It was exactly 4pm. At that very moment, they started their movie. It was “Dr. Strangelove.” (!)
As I watched it, I laughed at all the things Mark and I often joked about. Somehow it made me feel he was still there.
Since then I’ve lost many friends to illnesses, one to an auto accident and another to a plane crash. The older you get the more likely it becomes. But you never get used to it.
Yes, it sucks and I’m sorry. I just lost a friend I’d known for 20 years. We just have to be grateful for what we had with them and celebrate that.
My sister and my college roommate died on the same day. I was in such a state of shock that my doctor put me on Xanax so I could get through my sister’s memorial service. I’m old enough that I’ve had a number of acquaintances die, but none shook me up like that double gut punch.
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you can get to a place where you cherish the memory of the time your spent with him.
I’m glad we got to spend some time together during the summer. He lived outside Chicago, so we visited last time we went to see our daughter in the city. He also made it to our daughter’s wedding last March, and we visited when I brought our daughter over when she moved. We worked together in Brooklyn, but only saw each other occasionally after we moved. His younger brother had similar health issues and died years ago, so I feel fortunate he made it as long as he did.