Fishin' off the Company Pier

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, I did it. I’m officially in my first interoffice relationship.

Of course my first thought was to avoid getting involved with this girl, but after a social gathering after work one day, it was quite obvious we were going to be more than co-workers.

However, there are a few things I am concerned about. The firm I work for has had some sexual harrassment issues in the past, and I think it’s best to keep it under wraps until we are sure this “relationship” pans out. And of course there’s the issue of me being in a management position, where I am "suppose to set an example, but she works in another department so I convinced myself that would be acceptable.

I’ve heard both pros and cons about these types of relationships, but…damn…it’s like we are made for each other! We have tons of things in common, we are attracted to each other, and most important, we are relatively emotionally stable. Plus, she is amazingly beautiful, which is a great bonus.

I do realize though that if things turned sour, it might be uncomfortable for us for a while, but for some reason I’m throwing logic out the window and following my…heart. Yes, that’s it…my heart.

I am wondering if anyone out there has experienced an interoffice fling, or even seen one that has been successful. I really think we’ve got something here, so I’m going to give it a shot.

Though, playing “secret agent”, as she calls it, kind of gets on her nerves. She tells me that some women find it difficult to do this without telling the world, including all their coworkers, that they are in a relationship. However, she does understand that it might be best to “ease” into things at the beginning.

Well, I just thought I’d share. I’ll post in a few months and let you know how things are goin’. I figure I’ll either be REALLY happy, or REALLY unemployed.

-LC

2

I dated a couple of women who worked in the same company I did. The relationships didn’t last that long, but there was no bad blood or complications when they ended. Of course, none of us were in management. That might complicate things.

3

6 years ago I started dating a girl from my office and we are now happily married and still working at the same firm. I think the key is that you don’t actually work with each other.

Don’t listen to people who say the inter-office thing will never work, all they mean is that it didn’t work for them. Just have a few guidelines about the work/home life balance and try and stick too them.

Good luck:D

4

The inter-office thing will never work. Oh, nevermind. Good luck, dude!

5

And neither do long-distance relationships, right, UncleBill? :wink:

6

Just make sure you in no way shape nor form have any kind of involvement on the professional side (work reviews, buddies with her boss, etc).

Keep that reaaaaaaly arms length.

If it seems like it is starting to get serious, maybe there is someone in upper management or HR that you should inform. Just a CYA type thing. I dunno, I don’t work in the US. Just curious

7

I was thinking the same thing.

China Guy, it’s really ironic that you replied to this post. She is from Bejing.

BTW, I’m going to be in Shanghai in February. Maybe we can hook up and have a Shanghai Dopefest!

-LC

8

I’ve never been involved with a co-worker, but here in my office, it hasn’t been a problem for other couples. At least three relationships that I can think of, off the top of my head, started off here and have lasted for a number of years already (including one marriage).

All those old expressions (I’ll add “you shouldn’t get your honey where you make your money” and “don’t dip your pen in the company inkwell”) are BS. The important things are: (1) neither member of the couple should report to the other; (2) keep things low-key at the office, even after you’re ready to ‘out’ yourselves there as a couple, and (3) be familiar with any company fraternization policies. Comply with them if they’re reasonable; if they’re not, keep your relationship below the company radar screen while you figure out what to do about it.

Fact is, work is one of the better places to find a SO. Your typical white-collar office throws together a lot of intelligent, gainfully employed people of both sexes who have ample opportunity to get to know each other. Of course it’s going to spark the occasional romance.

Best of luck!

9

You got numbers of that, RT?

10

I’m living with someone I work with.

Work with meaning we work at the same company. However, we have no direct work involvement with each other, and are even in separate buildings. So I rarely even see him during the day at all.

He may as well be working somewhere else. Although sometimes I feel bad bitching about work, since he generally knows the people I’m ranting about.

But I don’t think it’s a problem, unless you have some sort of work involvement with each other. Been there, done that, it was awkward as hell.

11

I married a cow-orker :D, going on 14 years now. We dated for about 4 years before getting married, while working together, very close. When we decided to get married, we knew it wouldn’t work unless one of us found another job. Being that close 24 hours a day is NOT healthy…ya gotta have some space. Also, if the company ever goes under, you’ll both be unemployed.

12

I married a woman I met when we worked in the same office in college. Seven years after we got married she left me for her girlfriend that she met at work.

Them work relationships are strange.
That’s all I’m sayin’

13

[hijack]
You know, that may have something to do with the problems my marriage has been having. :frowning: We didn’t meet at work, but for the past five years worked for the same company, and for about three years, in the same building.

Maybe now that I have a job elsewhere, things will start getting better …
[/hijack]

14

Another company inkwell dipper here. For me it was a part-time job while I was in school; he was a full-timer. We both reported to the same boss (owner of a small company), but we worked together in the same area. He was in a position to teach me parts of my job, and he did. We kept the relationship quiet, although two or three people knew (and kept our secret). We would often talk for a few minutes in the parking lot after work, and then meet across the highway in a store parking lot, hop into his car, and go on our merry way. :smiley: Worked there six months, until he quit (fed up with said moron owner/boss); I quit about 2 weeks later. Engaged 6 months after that, married 12 years.

15

I once masturbated in the restroom during work hours. Does that count?

16

They put ink wells in those stalls?

17

although i don’t date coworkers, i have seen many relationships bloom at work.

in the time i have worked in the firm i have seen at least 6 couples match up and get married, and are still married. usually 1 person in the couple leaves the firm either right before or right after the wedding.

my firm is rather strange marriage wise. out of about 100 people who were married at the time of employment or got married while working in the firm, there have been only 5 divorces. this makes me wonder about the national average of divorces.

18

My ex-roommate/ex-co-worker met his wife where we worked.

The place where I work is not extremely large, but is very international, so people from all over the world pass through the office…

19

Sorry, I’ve had REALLY bad experiances. I quit one job after having an on-again-off-again thing with my manager because I knew that one of us would just end up screaming at the other AT work and I didn’t need the embarrassment.

Good luck, man.

20

I’ll check in with bad experiences. Mine was horrible (of course, it was also quid pro quo sexual harrasment, with rape thrown in for good measure, but he thought it was an office romance).

Watch yourself. She may seem nice, but psycho bitch from hell is bad to be trying to break up with at work.

Tell your managment. Explain that you believe this is a serious enough relationship to pursue, but you want to make sure that you will have no supervisory responsibility for her - direct or indirect. Make sure there isn’t any company policy about it.

One of my “corporate fish” (not the rapist/bastard/harrassing boss) dated another woman I worked with. On her last day she got smashed and let him know exactly what she thought of him. Not exactly a career enhancing move for her, but didn’t exactly make him look too professional either.