Five-Word Movie Review

Musketeers of Pig Alley
Mob, tenements, Gish, Griffith directs!

Murder by Decree
Holmes disguises as East Ender.

Escape from New York
Manhattan is Maximum Security prison.
Next: movies about immigrants to the US.

Born In East L.A.
Cheen Marin leads many immigrants.

Moscow On The Hudson
Good early Robin Williams film.

An American Tail
“There are no cats in America!”
Next: Movies revolving around a trio of friends.

Mystic Pizza
Three teenagers work at MP.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Three LBGTQs adventure across Australia.

Return of the Jedi
Luke, Leia, Han have bonded.
Next: three Sherlock Holmes movies from three different decades. One must be B&W.

*Sherlock Holmes Baffled
*The very first, in 1900

*The Seven-Per-Cent Solution
*Freud treats Holmes? Sheer brilliance!

*The Hound of the Baskervilles
*Jeremy Brett nails it, naturally

Next: Movies about two dudes in a very close but non-romantic relationship

Mass Appeal
Long-time rector mentors volatile seminarian.

The Searchers
Uncle, nephew search for niece.

The Odd Couple
Divorced men friends become roommates.
Next: movies about lesbians.

Kissing Jessica Stein
Comedy, but seriously examines coming-out.

But I’m a Cheerleader
RuPaul plays it absolutely straight.

The Oddest Couple
Mid 80s porn, trite, predictable.

Next: Movies set totally in New York City.

Manhattan
Woody’s song to his city.

Lost In Yonkers
Another wonderful Neil Simon play.

On The Town
Singing! Dancing! Who needs story?
Next: Movies where the protagonist is just trying to go home.

The Wizard of Oz
There’s no place like home.

The Incredible Journey
Two dogs, cat, trek home.

Back to the Future
Home is 30 years ahead.
Next: movies about people (or any protagonist) running away from home.

Inside Out
Emotional turmoil leads girl astray

The Wrong Trousers
Gromit feels displaced by penguin

Where the Wild Things Are
Max flees home to monsters

Next: Movies about homecomings (pleasant or otherwise)

My Favorite Wife
Shipwrecked wife finds husband remarried.

Gaslight
Orphan returns to murder house.

Something Wild
Oddball takes stranger to reunion.
Next: movies about one person at different ages.

Boyhood
Lad filmed over 12 years

Daddy Long Legs
Girl becomes woman; marries patron

Little Big Man
Hoffman from youth to antiquity

Next: Movies with a very talented child actor or actress

The Champ (1931)
Jackie Cooper gives tear-jerking performance.

*The Miracle Worker *(1962)
Patty Duke won an Oscar.

The Professional (1994)
Young Natalie Portman is brilliant.

**
Next**: movies screwed up by a badly cast child performer.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Short Round annoys, adds little.

Six Weeks
Healy: Great skater, no actress.

The Goodbye Girl
Dreyfuss, Mason, excellent; Cummings unnecessary.

Next: Movies about actors/actresses preparing for a show.

Birdman
Michael Keaton was freakin’ brilliant!

Noises Off
Hilarious, but stage version better.

Waiting For Guffman
My favorite of Guest’s mockumentaries.
Next: Buster Keaton flicks.

Sunset Boulevard
Played himself in great scene.

The Navigator
Has the joke about “Damfino.”

Sherlock Jr.
Film projectionist has big dreams.
Next: films where kids play sports.

The Bad News Bears
Misfit kids play serious baseball.

Ladybugs
Dangerfield coaches girls’ soccer team.

The Mighty Ducks
Kids’ league hockey; surprisingly good.

Next: Walter Matthau movies.

House Calls
Entertaining but standard romantic comedy.

Hello Dolly
Tension with Streisand shows strongly.

The Odd Couple
Best film of Simon play.

Next: Movies with witches.

Haxan: Witchcraft through the ages
First example of a docudrama.

I Married a Witch
Witch harasses descendant of persecutor.

Bell, Book and Candle
Is Jimmy Stewart worth mortality?
Next: more movies with witches.

more movies with witches.

The Blair Witch Project
Witch hunts first person kids

Witches
Witch turns boy into mouse

Wizard of Oz
Evil witch is melting… melting!

Next: For National Airborne Day, movies featuring an airborne operation.

Dunkirk
Beautiful Spitfire footage over beaches

Fail Safe
American bomber gets through, alas

The Hindenburg
Nazi passenger dirigible burns up

Next: Movies all or mostly set aboard an aircraft