Five-Word Movie Review

Actually, Metropolis takes place this year, or, 99 years in the future of the year the film was made.

Although we don’t use circles of light to create robots that leap over the uncanny valley, the movie does nail the time it happens uncannily well. And if the trajectory of 1927 had not been torpedoed by WWII, Germany might have workers’ cities. Certainly, in 2026, the chasm between the richest and poorest is wider than it has ever been, globally.

Good job, Metropolis.

OUT OF PLAY: Mrs. H and I loved this movie back when it came out, when I was a teen and she a tween. To this day, whenever one of us points out something to the other, particularly if it’s mundane (for example, driving through Springfield, Missouri, and I point out the Bass & Pro Shop), the other will say, “Look kids: Big Ben. Parliament.” In fact, when we go to London next year, we’re hoping the open-air bus tour we take will pass by there so we can say “Look kids: Big Ben. Parliament.”

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile
Why’s Levy’s character even there?

Freddy Got Fingered
Not Joe Flaherty’s finest moment

Year One
Harold Ramis’s Adam begat this.

Movies with gratuitous nudity AND car crashes

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The first sexploitation film? Probably.

Crash

People get off on wrecks.

Death Proof

Tarantino’s foray into grindhouse, sexploitation.

Danny Boyle films.

Pretty much covers any action films of the 70s

Those were the days!

Danny Boyle films

Shallow Grave
His screen debut, in 1994

The Beach
Leonardo DiCaprio has memorable vacation

Yesterday
What if Beatles never existed?

Next up:

Movies about the Beatles in some way, but not starring any of the actual Beatles

I Wanna Hold Your Hand
“Lads! Me guitar’s all sticky!”

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
A GREAT idea, on paper.

Back Beat
Those freakish haircuts, finally explained!

The BEST movies to star Mick Jagger

I was SO hyped to see that! And then… :confounded_face:

In play: The BEST movies to star Mick Jagger

Not sure there is a “best” movie, but…

Ned Kelly
Oughta be banned in Australia.

Freejack
Watch out for time-traveling mercenaries!

Performance
Could be Jagger’s best movie…?

Next: Musicians in non-musical roles

Musicians in non-musical roles

The Big Lebowski
Flea portrays a nihilist “kidnapper.”

Sling Blade
Dwight Yoakam as abusive Redneck.

Dune (1984)
Sting probably wishes he didn’t.

Films where a/the main character’s name is never revealed.

12 Angry Men
Jurors are only called numbers.

Frankenstein
Anybody recall the Monster’s name?

Two Lane Blacktop
“Driver,” “Mechanic,” “Girl,” never named.

Next:

More films where a/the main character’s name is never revealed.

Tenet
Just call him the Protagonist

Serenity
Bad guy is the Operative

Hitman
Lead character is title character

Next up:

Movies with at least one ridiculous character name

I’m going to assume that the prompt does not refer to science-fiction or fantasy, where pretty much every character has a ridiculous name. Jar-Jar Binks, for example.

Movies with at least one ridiculous character name

Animal House
All Deltas have ridiculous names.

Summer of '42
“Osky”? It’s short for “Oscar.”

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?
Al Lewis plays “Turkey” well.

Next:

Movies that portray a dystopian future

Movies that portray a dystopian future

Idiocracy
Wake to a dumb-down America

THX-1138
Lucas’ 1971 feature film debut

12 Monkeys
Bruce Willis can’t save mankind

Next: Alliterative movies

Alliterative movies

Freaky Friday

Mom and daughter swap bodies.

Mad Max

Something about post apocalyptic Australia.

Dirty Dancing

Nobody puts Baby in corner.

More Alliterative Movies

King Kong
'Twas beauty killed the beast.

Suicide Squad
Super-Villains become defenders of good.

Bedtime for Bonzo
Reagan delivers tour de force.

NEXT: Rhyming titles

Rhyming titles

Romper Stomper
Russell Crowe, neo-Nazi leader

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry
Pure '70s action pulp trash

Motel Hell
Victims check in, not out

Next: More rhymin’ titles

Be Kind Rewind
Video rental store, magnetic shenanigans

In Deep Sleep
Russian drama about snoozing, grieving

Abra Cadabra
Inspired by Hamelin’s Pied Piper

Next up:

Big-budget movies based on folk tales

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Originally flop; almost bankrupted Disney.

Pan’s Labyrinth
Folk tales: not for children.

Jesus Christ Superstar
You have your folk tales…

NEXT: Low budget films based on folk/fairy tales (manufactured fairy tales, like the authored tales of HC Andersen do not count, but the Grimm bros. et al. collected folk stories in oral circulation, so those are fair game)

Low budget films based on folk/fairy tales

Cinderella 2000
Folk tale crossed with Barbarella

Hansel vs. Gretel
Siblings who can’t get along

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Horses? Nope, they got coconuts

Next: More cult-classic low-budget movies

More cult-classic low-budget movies

Clerks
Two slackers, one long day.

Napoleon Dynamite
Nerd does dance, wins girl.

Halloween
Murderer wreaks havoc on Halloween.

Next: Movies that tanked at the box office but have since done well on home video/streaming.