Five-Word Movie Review

Hmm. Per Wiki:

Snow White premiered at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles, California, on December 21, 1937, and went into general release in the United States on February 4, 1938. Despite initial doubts from the film industry, it was a critical and commercial success, with international earnings of more than $8 million during its initial release against a $1.5 million production cost, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1938, and briefly holding the record of the highest-grossing sound film of all time. It was also the highest-grossing animated film for 55 years…”

From here: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film) - Wikipedia

OK, I’ll do my own to keep the thread moving.

Movies that tanked at the box office but have since done well on home video/streaming.

The Big Lebowski
Slacker stoner roped into caper.

The Shawshank Redemption
Innocent man escapes from prison.

A Christmas Story
Kid wants gun for Christmas

So-bad-they’re-good movies

So-bad-they’re-good movies

Plan 9 From Outer Space
The worst of the best

Refer Madness
Documentary turned accidental cult classic

Commando
Ah-nold delivers his best one-liners

Next: More ‘So-bad-they’re-good’ movies

Redneck Zombies
The 90s Troma wave’s origin

Mondo New York
Before Times Square got Disneyfied

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
Michael Rooker wasn’t always Yondu

Big stars before they were big stars

Big stars before they were big stars

Leprechaun
Aniston stars in B-Horror film.

Bachelor Party
Hanks gets drunk at stag-do.

The Professional
Portman befriends reluctant mob hitman.

More big stars before they were big stars.

Little Shop of Horrors (original)
Jack Nicholson, sounding very different

Uncle Buck
Macauley Culkin made an impression

Tootsie
Geena Davis flashed before us

Comedies you didn’t think were very funny

Best in Show
Hated Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Meh from start to finish

Bowfinger
Eddie, Steve can’t polish turd

Next up:

Movies that exceeded your expectations

Ringer (2005)
Special Olympics harder than appears.

Shallow Hal
Exceeded, considering very, very low.

Slaves of New York
Everybody hated it but me.

NEXT: Movies that sorely disappointed you

Pizza Movie
I can’t even begin here

Wonder Woman 1984
The dead should remain dead

Black Adam
Hero? Villain? I don’t know

Next: More movies that disappoint

More movies that disappoint

Black Panther

Bored senseless after fifteen minutes.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I expected better from Jackson.

Casablanca

Was bored the entire time.

Movies from Australia or New Zealand

Heavenly Creatures
Sinister teenage girls kill Mum

On The Beach
Nuclear war survivors in submarine*

Young Einstein
Technically hilarious, I am told.

“What if superheroes existed in the real world?” Non-super people play at being superheroes

Mystery Men
Their “blind date with destiny”

Kick-Ass
Every teenage boy’s dream, kinda

Watchmen
Averting World War III? Sure!

Next up:

Movies about stupid wars

Apocalypse Now - Vietnam
Meditation on horrors of war.

The Hurt Locker - Iraq
Soldier is addicted to war.

Tumbledown - Falkland Islands
Society struggles to accept veteran.

Movies with minimal plot / or in which the plot isn’t the point

My Dinner with Andre
Two chums eat, talk, talk…

Koyaanisqatsi
Earth: glorious, squalid, chaotic

Empire
Empire State Building: 8+ hours!

I think Andy Warhol was just messing with us.

Pass.

The Atomic Cafe
Narrative-free documentary about the bomb.

Return of the Secaucus 7
70s radicals are less radical.

Napoleon Dynamite
What happened to his parents?

NEXT: Movies where a very minor character is extremely important

To Kill a Mockingbird
Boo Radley killed that creep!

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Chief Bromden narrated the book
or
Chief Bromden: Kind of pivotal…

The Man with Two Brains
“Oh my god! Merv Griffin!”

Movies where the title character is unseen.

Charlie’s Angels
Quite the private chap, really

Waiting for Godot
Should be here any minute!

Jezebel
Her name’s actually Julie Marsden

Next up:

Your least-favorite movies

Your least-favorite movies

Rebel Without a Cause
Dean’s histrionic acting! Jesus Christ.

The Passion of the Christ
Mom begged me for months.

Casablanca
I don’t get the fuss.

Movies with no, or minimal, dialogue

Quest For Fire
Early ancestors learn to survive

All Is Lost
Man survives harrowing sea ordeals

Cast Away
Lost man bonds with volleyball

Nest: Silent films (before ‘talkies’)

Wings
Won first Best Picture Oscar

Safety Last!
Very funny Harold Lloyd film

City Lights
Touching Charlie Chaplin tragic romance

Next up:

Movies with annoying sidekicks