Five-Word Movie Review

Waking Ned Devine
Dead man wins lottery jackpot.

The Banshees of Inisherin
Friends break up, get depressed.

Darby O’Gill and the Little People
Guy loses job, befriends faeries.

Movies set in Scotland or Wales

Braveheart
Brave blue face Breaks bad.
Mary Queen of Hearts
Off with her/my?head!
The Englishman Who Went up a Hill but Came down a Mountain
Making Mountains out of WelshHills.

Movies set in the Old South

(Mary, Queen of Hearts? You mean Mary, Queen of Scots?)

Oops. one of the Freudian slips

Movies set in the Old South

Gone with the Wind
Rhett didn’t give a damn

Song of the South
Disney film now considered offensive

Glory
Black troops fight racism, rebels

It’s my all-time favorite Civil War movie.

Next up:

Movies about less-than-great doctors

The Hospital
Can Bock hold it together?

Article 99
Like MASH for Veterans Administration

Lost in Space (1998)
“Give my regards to oblivion.”

Next: Future examples of medicine and treatment

The Andromeda Strain
Physical exam done by machine?

Altered States
Sensory deprivation with drug research.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Luke gets a bionic hand.

Next: The Films of Roger Corman

House of Usher
House (family and home) crumbles.

The Raven
Camp horror unrelated to novella.

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
Stylish, allegorical descent into fatalism.

NEXT: The films of Harvey Korman

Lord Love a Duck
It’s a comedy… I think

Blazing Saddles
Hedy… or is it Hedley?

Curse of the Pink Panther
Not deleted from this sequel

Next: Movies with a ‘Harvey’ character

Harvey.
Big Rabbit- is it real?

Suits
Harvey Spector- Attorney at Law

Harvey (1996 film)
Cheap Remake- skip this film.

Oops, next- Movies with a non-animated non-dog as the star.

Um, okay…

Casablanca
Bogie at his very best

Gladiator
Crowe kicks ass very entertainingly

Limitless
Cooper great: writer, junkie, tycoon

Next up:

Non-American courtroom dramas

Judgment at Nuremberg
Among Stanley Kramer’s best films.

The Castle
Australian, fighting against eminent domain.

A Passage to India
British justice in colonial India.

Next: Films involving gambling

The Grand
World Series of Poker mockumentary

The Hangover
Alan knows how to gamble

The Man With the Golden Arm
Card dealer fights heroin addiction

Next: More films involving gambling

The Sting
Irish gangster falls for con.

Tombstone
Wanna duel? I’m your huckleberry.

Rounders
Kid has devastating poker addiction.

Movies where chess is played

The Seventh Seal
Death: “No one escapes me.”

Searching for Bobby Fischer
Kid learns chess from vagrants

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Life sized pieces? No thanks!

Movies involving a dance competition

OUT OF PLAY: The chess scene in that movie grinds the gears of chess payers because the board is famously set up improperly, with each player having a black square at their bottom right, not a white one. Every time I see chess portrayed in film or TV, I look for mistakes like that (or bishops on same-colored squares or what have you).

Movies involving a dance competition

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?
Dance marathon takes terrible toll.

Hairspray (2007)
Little Inez surprises everybody, winning!

Bring It On
Stop cheering and start dancing!

Next: Disaster Movies of the 1970s

Towering Inferno
Too tall to fight fires

Earthquake
Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on

The Poseidon Adventure
Celebrate New Years upside down

Next: Movies with a bomb in it

Oppenheimer
Life of Manhattan Project organizer

The Hurt Locker
Soldier defuses lots of bombs

Speed
Reeves, Bullock meet cute, dangerously

Next up:

More obscure Sandra Bullock movies