Beauty and the Beast
My god, she can’t sing!
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
High school kid befriends newcomer.
Little Women
Girls navigate war, poverty, death.
Movies with fireworks
1776
Adams exults at American independence
Return of the Jedi
Yay, Emperor Palpatine snuffed it!
Toy Story
Buzz, Woody almost blown up
Next up:
Movies which could’ve used some fireworks, but didn’t have 'em
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
I guess Saruman just … disappeared?
The Dark Knight Rises
Bane is just gone. Bye.
Slumdog Millionaire
Do Bollywood numbers have fireworks?
Movies about soccer (Association Football)
Victory
Germans versus POWs in Paris
Shaolin Soccer
Soccer and martial arts? Win!
Bend It Like Beckham
Girl defies family to play
Next: Baseball movies with Kevin Costner
Bull Durham
Indignities of minor leage baseball.
Field of Dreams
Dad, son reconcile through baseball.
For the Love of the Game
Has-been pitches a perfect game.
Kevin Costner movies that aren’t about baseball.
Waterworld
Mad Max on the waves
The Postman
This guy doesn’t ring twice
Mr Brooks
Daughter acquires dad’s special skill
Next: Westerns made after 2000
Appaloosa
Lawmen Harris, Mortensen: both excellent
Hostiles
Cavalryman, dying foe meet again
3:10 to Yuma
Don’t miss that damn train!
Next up:
Westerns made between 1969 and 1999
The Quick and the Dead
Villain holds annual quick-draw contest.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Bank robbers fuck, flee, die.
Tombstone
Say it: “I’m your huckleberry.”
Easily parody-able disaster films of the 60s and 70s
Krakatoa, East of Java
It’s actually west of Java
"The Towering Inferno*
Sprinkler systems not yet invented?
The Poseidon Adventure
Borgnine as the romantic lead!?
Horrible, horrible movies so bad they’re BAD!
The Room
Citizen Kane of bad movies
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
Your childhood dies before you
Plan 9 From Outer Space
So bad, we love it
Next: More awful movies
NM - posting issues
Galaxina
Like porn, but no sex
Billy Jack
Great when I was eleven.
The Giant Claw
Looked like a big marionette.
Awful musicals!
Cats
I took the low-hanging fruit.
Xanadu
It ruined a few careers.
Can’t Stop the Music
It created the Razzie Awards!
More awful musicals.
More awful musicals.
Grease 2
Zero magic from the original.
Dear Evan Hansen
Grown man portrays young boy.
A Chorus Line
Changed focus from Broadway original.
Razzie Award Winners
Can’t Stop the Music
Razzie’s first Worst Picture winner
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Ahmed Best: Worst Supporting Actor*
Fifty Shades of Grey
Won five of six nominations
*played Jar Jar Binks
Next: Movie titles beginning with “Can’t”
Can’t Buy Me Love
Prototypical 80s teen sex romp.
Can’t Hardly Wait
Prototypical 90’s teen sex romp.
Can’t Be Stopped
Documentary about LA graffiti taggers
Blanking Blankie (Like Chasing Amy or Regarding Henry (don’t use either of those))
Driving Miss Daisy
Tandy, Freeman, Aykroyd—cinematic gold!
Watching the Detectives
Murphy, Liu, complicated romcom plot.
Waiting for Godot
And waiting, and waiting, and …
Next:
Romcoms starring Hugh Grant
Mickey Blue Eyes
Grant falls for mafioso’s daughter
Two Weeks Notice
Grant channels inner Donald Trump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
How long before they’re together?
Next: Britcoms
Withnail and I
Richard Grant destroys the 60s.
The Ladykillers
Little old lady checks gangsters.
The Mouse that Roared
Grand Fenwick? It could happen…
Hand-drawn animation released after TOY STORY 1
Winnie the Pooh
Gone out. Busy. Back soon.
Lilo and Stitch
Alien learns love and ohana.
The Princess and the Frog
I love mah belle, Evangeline
Movies based on TV shows