Five-Word Movie Review

The Fugitive
Deserved its Best Picture nomination.

The Brady Bunch Movie
70’s family in 90’s zeitgeist.

21 Jump Street
Obvious adults play teen narcs.

Movies based on banned books (reference)

Beloved
Former slave is sorrowful, haunted

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
High school can really suck

Sold
“Happiness House” is helluva misnomer

Next up:

Other films of Gillian Anderson

Johnny English
Mr. Bean is James Bond.

Moby Dick
Whale is metaphor for obsession.

The Last King of Scotland
Bored doctor befriends Idi Amin.

Movies not called Titanic that take place on a boat or a ship.

Captains Courageous
Spencer Tracy’s Portuguese accent rules!

Boat Trip
“Gay cruise? But I’m straight!”

The Ra Expeditions
Thor Hyerdahl’s papyrus boat trip.

Movies that take place on a submarine

Das Boot
Germans’ view of submarine warfare.

U-571
British ignored; Americans take credit.

Down Periscope
Grammer can’t stop being Frasier.

Next: Courtroom movies

Breaker Morant
Great war movie, courtroom drama

Liar Liar
Crooked lawyer finds humorous redemption

Runaway Jury
High-stakes case manipulated very adroitly

Next up:

Movies which disappointed you

The Matrix Reloaded
The first was so good…

The Dead
“Lived”(?) up to its billing

Ex Machina
Gratuitous, with no likeable characters

Next: Movies about machines

Demon Seed
Horror film: computer commits rape.

The Mangler
Demonic clothes-wringer demands human sacrifice.

Modern Times
Cranks and cogs not fun.

NEXT: Movies about AI before the term “AI” existed.

Metropolis
Maria, gynoid are key characters

The Day the Earth Stood Still
“Klaatu barada nikto,” he said

2001: A Space Odyssey
HAL won’t open pod-bay doors

Next up:

Movies that were well ahead of their time

The Handmaid’s Tale
Terrifyingly prescient even pre-Dobbs.

Cannibal Holocaust
Found footage three decades early.

The Truman Show
24/7 for-profit voyeurism’s human toll.

Movies that aged terribly.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
Stale while still in can.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Racial impersonation, and ennui? Sheesh.

Johnny Belinda
Oh. My. Freaking. Gawd. Can’t…

NEXT: Movies that aged surprisingly well

Die Hard
Great movie to chill with

The Sting
Great movie with great leads

The Great Escape
McQueen on motorcycle: 'Nuff said

Next: Movies you find most entertaining

Star Wars
Space opera at its finest

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Dr. Jones at his best

True Lies
Terrific Ahnuld spy comedy adventure

Next up:

Movies Ahnuld just shouldn’t have made

Junior
Ahnold went and fucked himself

Batman & Robin
Shove this under the ice

Terminator: Dark Fate
Should’ve been terminated long ago

Next: Movies featuring little people (not kids)

Cyrano (2021)
Dinklage swaps nose for achondroplasia

Under the Rainbow
Littles amok while filming WOZ.

Freaks
Don’t mess with little people.

NEXT: Films where a disabled character is played by an actor WITH that disability (the film does not have to be about the disability)

Children of a Lesser God
Hearing teacher loves Deaf janitor.

CODA
Deaf parents raise hearing daughter.

Champions
Goofy baseball comedy champions disabilities.

MORE Films where a disabled character is played by an actor WITH that disability

Elf
Dinklage plays talented, angry author

Lincoln
Actual amputees played wounded soldiers

The Best Years of Our Lives
Russell lost hands, acted, won Oscars

Next up:

Movies with a memorable color palette

Punch-Drunk Love
Director sets moods with colors

What Dreams May Come
Paintings appear as immersible scenery

The Wizard of Oz
B/W movie transitions to color

Next: Lazy heroes

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indy just shoots big swordsman

The Big Lebowski
The low-energy Dude abides, man

Buried
Jeez, Ryan Reynolds hardly moves!

Next up:

Good movies to watch for USA 250

Harry and Tonto
Carney and cat discover America.

National Lampoon’s Vacation
More “discover America”; but funnier.

Coming to America
African prince learns American ways.

Next: Your Favourite Movies Filmed in Black-and-White