Five-Word Movie Review

**Movies whose title became a popular meme. **

The Bucket List
Before dying, guys goof off

Devil’s Advocate
Pacino’s intensity kind of burns

The Horse Whisperer
Talk to horses, don’t they?

Next: Movies with Peter Dinklage

Movies with Peter Dinklage

X-Men: Days of Future Past
He’s gonna play Mad Scientist.

Underdog
He’s already played Mad Scientist.

Elf
He was down on farms.

Next: Bob Newhart movies

Bob Newhart movies:

Cold Turkey:
1960s town quits smoking? Hilarious!

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde:
Ms. Woods Goes to Washington.

Elf:
“Crocodile Dundee” with Christmas snow.

Next: Biopics about musicians.

Biopics about musicians.

Anvil! The Story of Anvil
This band exists. No, really!

Bird
Jazz, heroin, and having sax.

Lady Sings the Blues
Wait…is that Lando Calrissian?

Next: Movies about fictional musicians.

Movies about fictional musicians:

Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story:
This ain’t Johnny Cash’s story.

This is Spinal Tap:
These amps go to eleven.

The Commitments:
Irish soul music? Why not?

Next: Sharon Stone movies.

Sharon Stone movies.

Basic Instinct
Hands down, greatest upskirt ever.

Casino
Much sexier than Carmella Soprano.

Total Recall
“You won’t shoot me–” Bang!

Next: Michael Douglas movies.

Michael Douglas movies.

Ant-Man
Let’s get small, Dr. Pym.

The American President
Liberals stand up to conservatives.

The War of the Roses
'Til Death Do Us Part.
Next: George Hamilton movies.

George Hamilton Movies

Love at First Bite
Dracula searches Manhattan for wife.

Zorro the Gay Blade
Zorro fights governor with pizazz

*Evel Knievel *
Just crash the cycle already

Next: Broken Lizard movies.

Broken Lizard movies.

Super Troopers

The origin of their logo.

Club Dread

“Dude, don’t be gay, man.”

Beerfest

Solid comedy, Lizard’s best work.

Next: **Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker movies. **

**Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker movies. **

The Kentucky Fried Movie
Fistful of Yen, other delights.

Airplane!
So, what’s our vector, Victor?

Ruthless People
Bette Midler regained her career.
Next: Movies about a theatrical production

Movies about a theatrical production

The Producers

Springtime for Hitler = Comedy gold.

Footlight Parade

James Cagney isn’t a gangster.

Shakespeare in Love

Gweneth Paltrow shows her tatas.

Next: **Movies with graphic nudity. **

**Movies with graphic nudity. **

Porky’s
That penis had a mole!

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
This movie makes me hungry.

Titanic
Oh wait, that’s “graphite” nudity…

Next: Movies about revolutions.

** Movies about revolutions.**

V for Vendetta

Natalie Portman attempts British accent.

Star Wars

Luke destroys hideout, kills millions.

Che

No Oscar wins or nominations?

Next: Movies with graphic violence

Movies with graphic violence

Pulp Fiction
or anything by Quentin Tarentino.

Sin City
I’s from a graphic novel, so…

Cannibal Holocaust
The name says it all.
Next: Myrna Loy films.

Myrna Loy films:

Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ:
Not the Charlton Heston version.

The Jazz Singer:
First talkie, Loy’s in chorus.

Cheaper by the Dozen:
Twelve kids; she’s the mom.

Next: Films all or partly set in amusement parks or carnivals.

Films all or partly set in amusement parks or carnivals.

Rollercoaster
The bad guy was Sensurround

Adventureland
That’s my wife’s home town

Sudden Impact
Watch out for carousel horses

Next: David Cronenberg films

More than five words.

Scanners
Did his head just explode?

The Brood
Mom licks off bloody babies.

The Dead Zone
Please don’t shake my hand.

Next: Ronald Reagan films.

Ronald Reagan films.

Bedtime for Bonzo
What more can be said?

Tugboat Annie Sails Again
Why hasn’t this been remade?

Girls On Probation
His girlfriend robs a bank.
Next: 2014 Razzie winners

2014 Razzie winners

Movie 43

Obnoxious, unfunny, gross out crap.

After Earth

Jaden’s accent was truly atrocious.

A Madea Christmas

Outdated black stereotypes celebrate Christmas!

Next: Visually Ugly Movies

Children of Men
Crapsack future Britain looks awful.

Three Days of the Condor
Spy flees in bleak NYC.

Robocop
Detroit is ghastly, dangerous wasteland.

Next: Sigourney Weaver movies.