Five-Word Movie Review

Movies Scored By John Williams:

Superman:
“Can you read my mind?”

Close Encounters of the Third Kind:
“Boo-bee-doo … boo dooooo.”

Schindler’s List:
Haunting melody, no lyrics, unforgettable.

Next: Movies filmed in Black and White.

Movies filmed in Black and White

The Last Picture Show

Excellent use of dietetic sound.

Young Frankenstein

Frankenstein? No, it’s pronounced “Fronkensteen.”

Tron

Color was added after filming.

Next: Movies About Infidelity.

Movies About Infidelity

I Love You To Death
Kline cheats, Ullman wants revenge.

Unfaithfully Yours
Dudley suspects wife of affair.

The Scarlet Letter
Young Hester gets an “A”.
Next: Movies based on novels by Charles Dickens

** Movies based on novels by Charles Dickens**

A Christmas Carol

Jim Carrey plays Jim Carrey!

Oliver in Company

Back when Disney was shit.

Mickey’s A Christmas Carol

Better than the Zemeckis version.

Next: Don Bluth Films

Is this what you meant, Roundabout?: Oliver & Company - Wikipedia

Don Bluth films

The Small One
His first, a 1978 short.

Bartok the Magnificent
Albino bat is the star.

Titan A.E.
Earth destroyed? Man, that sucks!

Next: Yeardley Smith movies.

Yep, that’s the one. Don’t know how I messed that up.

Yeardly Smith movies

Maximum Overdrive

Coked out Stephen King directs.

Jingle All the Way

PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN…NOW!

The Simpsons Movie

Still better than current episodes.

Next: Movies Starring Hank Azaria.

Movies Starring Hank Azaria:

Mystery Men:
Superheroes with odd super powers.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian:
Exhibits come to life … again.

The Simpsons Movie:
Can’t have Simpsons without Azaria!

Next: Movies about the Navy.

Movies about the Navy.

Francis in the Navy
They needed a talking mule.

Mr. Roberts
Jack Lemmon grows a pair.

Navy Seals
It put me to sleep.
Next: Movies about the Marines.

Movies about the Marines.

Full Metal Jacket

Common men dehumanized into soldiers.

A Few Good Men

You can’t handle the truth…

Born on the Fourth of July

Veteran realizes war is bad.

Next: Sequels that are better than the originals.

Knowing that this could be a matter of opinion, I’ll try

Sequels that are better than the originals:

Superman II:
Zod’s the villian; Luthor–bumbler.

The Godfather, Part II:
Corleone family’s rise to power.

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior:
Max makes his own laws.

Next: More sequels that are better than the originals.

More sequels that are better than the originals.

Friday the 13th Part 2

At least there’s Jason, right?

The Dark Knight

Heath Ledger steals the show.

The Empire Strikes Back

Arguably better than “Star Wars”.

Next: Shitty Prequels

Gods and Generals
Confederate propaganda - with happy slaves!

Prometheus
Looks great, but stoopid script.

Butch and Sundance: The Early Days
Ow ow make it stop!

Next: Movies with a “z” in the title.

Movies with a “z” in the title.

Zathura
Better than Jumangi, at least.

Zero Hour!
The original inspiration for Airplane!

Zeitgeist: The Movie
All you need to know.

Next: Movies with a “Q” in the title.

Movies with a “Q” in the title:

The Queen:
Diana’s death; Mirren is Elizabeth.

The Quest:
Van Damme in kung-fu tournament.

The Quick and the Dead:
Western with Stone, Hackman, DiCaprio.

Next: Humphrey Bogart movies.

Humphrey Bogart movies,

Road to Bali
It’s a Charlie Allnut cameo.

The Maltese Falcon
Bogie, Lorre and Greenstreet rock.

Dead End
Who’d ever call him Baby-Face?

Next: Idina Menzel movies.

Kissing Jessica Stein
Her cinematic debut as “Bridesmaid.”

Enchanted
Dumped girlfriend still gets prince.

Frozen
Brunette plays a frosty blonde.

Next: Amy Adams films.

Amy Adams films

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Forgot she was in this.

Enchanted

Alan Menken makes a comeback.

Man of Steel

“Symbol of Hope” kills millions.

Next: Will Smith Movies

Will Smith Movies.

I Am Legend
Liked it better’n the book.

I, Robot
Like the book better, here.

Wild Wild West
How did this not work?
Next: James Rebhorn movies.

Sadly, James died recently.

James Rebhorn movies

Basic Instinct

Historic crossing of the legs.

Blank Check

90’s Home Alone rip off.

Meet the Parents

Stiller survives the in-laws.

Next: Civil Rights Movies