Beach Party Movies.
Beach Party (1963)
Annette makes Frankie jealous. Again.
The Beach Girls (1982)
Tits. That’s all. Just tits.
Police Academy (1984)
The only good Guttenberg movie.
Next: Tim Curry Movies
I once saw him in She Stoops To Conquer in London. He was fantastic.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Holy &^%$#, his screen debut!
Clue
Chews scenery with great gusto.
Legend
Looks a lot like Satan.
Next: Gary Sinise movies.
Gary Sinise movies.
Stephen King’s The Stand
Dreams of old black lady.
Forrest Gump
Lieutenant Dan - oops, no legs!
Apollo 13
He didn’t get the measles.
Next: James Woods movies.
James Woods movies
Ghosts of Mississippi
Plays a loathsome, real person.
Hercules
Had the perfect Hades voice!
John Q
Denzel, Duvall, Woods: still forgettable.
Next: MGM musicals
The Broadway Melody:
First “best” Oscar sound film.
Meet Me in St. Louis:
Judy Garland at World’s Fair
Fiddler on the Roof:
Was the shtetl that fun?
Next: “It was all a dream” endings
The Wizard of Oz
Hey, I know you guys!
Total Recall
Maybe it is… or not.
Inception
Will that top fall over?
Next: Halle Berry movies.
Halle Berry movies:
The Flintstones:
Live action film of cartoon.
Catwoman:
A waste of good film.
Die Another Day:
She becomes a Bond Girl.
Next: John Houseman movies.
Ghost Story:
Nominee: creepiest movie of all-time.
My Bodyguard:
Nominee: best teen movie ever.
The Paper Chase:
Nominee: best grad school movie.
Next: nominees for worst film of all-time.
Nominees for worst film of all-time:
Lost Horizon (1973 version):
Musical version we didn’t need.
Battlefield Earth:
Scientology sci-fi flop; nine Razzies.
From Justin to Kelly:
American Idol singers cannot act.
Next: More nominees for worst film of all-time.
A Different Story:
Lesbian, gay man in love.
Plan 9 from Outer Space:
Must mention this film. Must.
Robot Monster:
3D: badness multiplied by two.
Next: still more bad films
Liquid Sky
Alien preys on punk clubhoppers
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Unbelievably bad Texas horror flick
Freddy Got Fingered
Was supposed to be funny?
Next: Yes, even more bad films.
Yes, even more bad films.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
How bad? Uwe Boll’s worst.
Batman and Robin (1997)
Made the reboot completely justifiable.
Jack Frost
Michael Keaton, creepy-ass snowman.
Next: Box office bombs that became cult favorites
Nosferatu
Most prints destroyed; handful survived.
The Big Lebowski
Still my favorite Coen movie.
Dark City
Creepy, engaging neo-noir sf thriller.
Next: Movies that did much better than expected.
Frozen
Success was expected, but this…
The Muppets
Nostalgia and timing are important.
Star Wars: Episode IV
Everyone knew Science Fiction bombs.
Next: Movies known for instances of prominent product placement
Movies known for instances of prominent product placement
Wayne’s World
Goofball metalheads won’t sell out
Castaway
FedEx employee not there overnight
The Italian Job
Tons of gold in Minis
Next: More movies with prominent product placement
The Love Bug
VW must have been pleased.
Pretty Woman
Coke cans very noticeably sipped.
I, Robot
Futuristic Audis drew admiring gazes.
Next: Hugh Jackman non-Wolverine movies
Trivia note: While FedEx did not pay for their logo to be used in Cast Away, their inclusion in the movie did increase worldwide recognition of their brand name.
Next: Hugh Jackman non-Wolverine movies
Van Helsing
Hunting vampires, werewolves and frankensteins.
Real Steel
Giant robot learns to dance.
Les Misérables
Please, Valjean, no more singing!
Next: Movies with a non-human lead.
The Cat from outer Space:
Lead is cat. Space cat.
I, Robot:
Lead is a [spoiler alert].
Snoopy, Come Home:
Lead is a cartoon dog.
Next: American movies where a main character speaks (or mostly speaks) something other than English.
Star Trek: The Search for Spock
Who knew Lloyd spoke Klingon?
Talladega Nights
Effete Frenchman drives like hell.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Truffaut wants peaceful first contact.
Next: Thomas Jane movies
Face/Off
Who’s hammier: Travolta or Cage?
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
He plays a Vegan cop.
Give 'em Hell Malone
Film noir. He plays Malone.
Next: **Idris Elba **movies.