The Remains of the Day
Butler serves Nazi sympathizer loyally.
Howard’s End
English woman loves old house.
Mr. & Mrs Bridge
Midwestern couple live empty lives.
New topic: MGM Musicals
(Good Sean Connery ones, Professor!)
MGM Musicals:
West Side Story:
Maria, see two gangs tonight.
The Wizard of Oz:
Lion, Tinman, Dorothy … oh my!
On the Town:
New York, a wonderful town!
Next: Jungle Movies
Tarzan
Where are the black people?
George of the Jungle
Watch out for that tree!
Gorillas in the Mist
Martyred primatologist wasn’t lovable person.
Next: Movies set in cold climates.
Jungle Movies
George of the Jungle
WATCH OUT FOR THAT…oooh
Tarzan
The weakest Disney Renaissance film
The Lion King
High point of nineties Disney
Next: Movies set in cold climates
Movies set in cold climbs:
Alive
Mmmm…human flesh for breakfast!
The Thing
Alien changeling…just totally gross!
The Gold Rush
Tramp silently digs for gold.
Next up: Zombie Apocalypse movies
Zombie Apocalypse Movies
Dawn of the Dead
Goriest film of the seventies
28 Days Later
Technically not zombies, but whatever
World War Z
Poor editing kills the experience
Next: Spike Lee Movies
Do the Right Thing
Fight the powers that be.
Malcolm X
An MLK from the streets.
Being John Malkovich
I always confuse both Spikes!
Next: Rock Operas
Rock Operas
Tommy
Tina Turner’s the Acid Queen.
Jesus Christ Superstar
King Herod’s all baby fat.
Rock of Ages
Even makes Zeta-Jones look bad.
Next:
Bing Crosby movies
Bing Crosby movies:
Road to Morocco
Acting next to camel dangerous
White Christmas
Singing saves Vermont ski lodge
Greatest Show on Earth
Bing watches overblown circus spectacle
Next: Apocalyptic movies
Apocalyptic movies:
Deep Impact:
Boring ruminations before asteroid strikes.
Threads:
Manchester blokes get vaporized, wot?
Melancholia:
Depressed bride blase about doomsday.
Next up: movie versions of old TV sitcoms
Movie versions of old TV sitcoms
Car 54, Where Are You?
and who the hell cares?
Leave It To Beaver
Vacuuming in pearls arouses Ward.
Bewitched
Kidman’s magic can’t save this.
Next:
Burt Reynolds films
Burt Reynolds films
Deliverance
“Squeal like a pig, boy!”
The End
Terminally Ill Dude Attempts Suicide
Boogie Nights
The 70s Porn World Rocked!
Charles Bronson movies
Charles Bronson movies:
The Great Escape:
Allied POWs really dig freedom!
The Dirty Dozen:
Army losers on suicide mission.
Death Wish:
Charles Bronson takes on muggers.
Next: James Bond films.
James Bond films.
Goldfinger
“…I expect you to die!”
Live and Let Die
“My regards to Baron Samedi.”
Casino Royale
Woody Allen and David Niven!?
Next:
Movies set mainly on a train
Movies set mainly on a train
Murder on the Orient Express
“Spoiler: EVERYBODY helped kill Widmark!”
Silver Streak***
“More Pryor please, less Wilder.”
The General
“Buster Keaton battles train hijackers.”
New topic: Movies Set on Submarines
Movies Set on Submarines
Das Boot
Robbed of Best Sound Oscars
The Spy Who Loved Me
Roger Moore’s greatest bond intro
- The Abyss*
Cameron’s Titanic can suck it.
Next: Video Game Adaptations
Super Mario Brothers
Italian plumbers battle baffling monsters.
Resident Evil
Hot chick battles zombie hordes.
Mortal Kombat
People mostly battle each other.
Next: Movies that are kind of like “Die Hard” but aren’t a “Die Hard” movie
Next: Movies that are kind of like Die Hard but aren’t a Die Hard movie.
Under Siege
Stopping bad guys on battleship.
Olympus Has Fallen
Battling Commies in White House.
Executive Decision
Hijacked plane must be retaken.
Next: Movies set in cold weather.
Movies set in cold weather:
Mystery, Alaska:
Local hockey team plays Rangers.
Runaway Train:
Escaped convicts, snowy Alaskan landscape.
It’s a Wonderful Life:
Hollywood snow never looks real.
Next: Movies about football.
Movies About Football
The Waterboy
Sandler’s last good dumb movie
The Longest Yard
Decent remake with decent laughs
Radio
Jerks pick on the disabled
Next: Stanley Kubrick Movies