Flaming O'Brian

Cafe Society
1

Whilst making a cube-dweller breakfast burrito this morning, I tossed some Ore-Ida potatoes O’Brian in a bowl in the microwave for a while to thaw. I ignored the first few seconds of crackling but eventually turned to look and was shocked to notice my food ablaze. “Hmm”, I thought to myself and stopped the microwave. Intrigued, I removed the now charred chunk of onion and put the bowl back in. Seconds later a potato cube caught fire. At this point my interest waned so, recalling that the only sparking and flaming I’ve seen in the nuker was metal related, I tossed the spuds aside and proceeded with assembling my breakfast sans a key ingredient.

Anyone else see this kind of thing? I’ve heated any number of food items in the microwave and never have I seen anything catch fire. When the microwave was running, the flame was shooting out of the vegetable sideways and only burned for a few seconds after stopping the oven.

And, just in case there are any office chefs longing for this classic recipe -

Defrost about a handful of potatoes O’Brian, then chuck it into toaster oven for a while

1 slice of ham-like product (you know that perfectly oval shaped pre-sliced stuff with the odd skin? Yeah, that) remove the rind and stick in toaster oven

1 egg, scrambled in microwave safe bowl, nuke for 30 seconds, pause while swelling recedes, go another 20-30 seconds, depending on how you like your eggs

Half-hand of “Mexican Blend” grated cheese on tortilla, microwave until cheese melts

Wait while potatoes get a little more brown and try to convince yourself that you’ll put them in earlier next time.

Tear up ham into smallish pieces and sprinkle on cheesy tortilla with egg and potatoes

Poke around the fridge and see if anyone left some salsa

2

Yeah, my microwaved food rarely catches fire. Your recipe sounds good, though.

3

Maybe I should have put this in GQ, without the recipe, and seriously asked why my potatoes are igniting.

4

My first thought upon seeing the title Flaming O’Brian is that this would be a great name for either a redheaded stripper or a gay Irish rock band.

Regarding the matter of food catching fire in the microwave, I once had a bag of Act II Kettle Corn popcorn that flamed up in a most spectacular fashion. I have no idea why it happened, since I’ve nuked umpteen identical bags of popcorn without incident. Maybe this was an act of terrorism by vengeful descendants of Orville Redenbacher.

5

God I’ve gotta get my glasses checked. I came in here prepared to discuss “Flannery O’Connor”.

6

I thought he didn’t enjoy the Aubrey-Maturin series.

7

Bastard up and died after Blue at the Mizzen, I’ve not forgiven him for that, but to date he has not cotched fire in my microwave.

8

My copy of Master and Commander is significantly smoke-covered around the edges from being aboard my family’s boat when it had an electrical fire and we had to be rescued by the Coast Guard.

That aside, I think his dying when he did in the series was quite appropriate, as it started with him getting his orders to his first command, and ended [spoiler]with his getting his orders to raise his admiral’s flag.

Besides, I can’t see Lucky Jack doing real well trapped on a creaky ship of the line flagship dispatching orders to his fleet around him, without being able to jump onto a fast frigate and go toe to toe with Frenchy. It was bad enough when he was put in charge of a small flotilla.[/spoiler]