I’ve known this chap for over five years, and in the past month, something has changed. He’s become very publicly flatulent. I suspect that he’s trying to restrain himself, because I see him tense himself up just before he cuts loose, but he’s just unable to for some reason. The only thing different about him is that in the past year, he has lost a ton of weight. I sat with a few days ago for about a half hour, and he cut loose three different times. I’ve been in meetings with him, and the same thing happens. Everyone just politely ignores it.
Man, I thought my workplace was bad but at least here when someone offers the cheese plate it’s almost certainly an accident. If you’re guy is pushing every ten minutes maybe you ought to leave some Beano on his desk.
We have an elevator here that serves all five floors of this building. There is this guy who has a habit of farting in it and sending it to the top (or to the bottom). We call it the Beef Biscuit Express.
I bought a 2-lb. bag of cherries over the weekend and have been eating them at lunch time every day. Two hours later there’s a brown cloud over this cube. Good thing no one else works real close.
I’m lactose intolerant. One day at work I was struggling with the aftereffects of a milkshake, and a lady who sits nearby called our building maintenance guy because she thought something had gone really wrong with the bathroom plumbing.
I don’t mean to criticise something that’s essentially not your fault, er, Dung Beetle, but could you not moderate your diet during working hours out of consideration for your co-workers?
I must comment with approval on the fact that this post came from someone with that user name
On the OP: In addition to the dietary changes and possible bariatric surgery, your colleague could conceivably be using Xenical, that weight-loss medication that works by preventing the body from absorbing fat from the food. Does your colleague occasionally get a frantic look on his face and start running for the bathroom? Though the fartogenic side effects usually, um, pass (sorry!) after a week or two.
I usually do, but sometimes I give in to temptation. Also, I have no sense of smell, so I’m not fully aware of what it is that I’m unleashing. I can always tell myself that if it’s quiet, no one will notice it.
You may luck out and it won’t happen to you (it didn’t to the patients I know). The first few days after surgery, you do tend to sound like a kazoo factory.
I too would suspect a high fiber diet on the part of your co-worker.
I work in a clinic with a small gym, and an even smaller office that all five PT staff share. Over the past few weeks, Earlytech and I thought we were going crazy- a Bad Smell wolud keep mysteriously greeting us when walking into the office. We cleaned drawers, emptied wastebaskets, all kinds of stuff. Latetech finally stopped repressing laughter long enough to tell us that it was ManPT, who would go into the office when it was empty, fart like a harpooned blimp, and rush back into the gym before anyone walked into the office. We hypothesize he does this to escape blame. What really results is that anyone can get away with silent farts as long as ManPT is in the building; everyone automatically assumes it was him.
The dude’s doing Atkins, or one of the other low-carb diets. He’s eating loads of protein, fat, and fiber, plus, quite possibly, substituting old sugary treats for alternatives loaded with sugar alcohols. I once joined my wife in support of her quest to lose the tummy, and hoo-boy, it’s an intestinal mob scene. Truth be told, I let rip a couple times when I really would rather not have. It was either that or explode. And these farts were rancid. I mean bad. Eventually I just gave up. Chances are he will too.
