I’m pretty sure I’m the jerk in this situation, but it’s bugging me WAY too much, and I need some closure.
About 2 months ago, I got into an altercation of sorts with one of the dads from daycare. My kid and his kid are in the same class, and I’d actually just recently become friends with his wife – she and I were pregnant at the same time, and we had our babies just weeks apart. She’d come over to my place for lunch and maternity-mom chat just a few weeks prior to the altercation! She and I really hit it off, and I was looking forward to getting our husbands together as well for a family dinner night. But I’d never officially met the dad – I knew who he was, has seen him at day care, but we’d never formally met.
But then came that fateful morning. I’d had about three hours of sleep total, with the new baby keeping me up all night. I was a mess – still in my pjs, dropping off my eldest at daycare with the baby SCREAMING from the backseat. I was ready to start pulling my hair out. All I wanted to do was drop off Li’l smaje and get home with the baby.
Jerk Dad (as I’ll call him here – he probably doesn’t deserve that name, but…) was in the car in front of me and we were both planning on turning right out of the daycare parking lot. As we waited there, a school bus pulled up on the street to our left and started picking up kids, and Jerk Dad didn’t move his car. He had every right to turn right in front of the bus – you’re not supposed to PASS a stopped bus, but in this situation, he could have turned right. But he didn’t. Baby’s screaming in the back seat, and I was like, “Why the FUCK aren’t you turning???” and so I laid on the horn. He waved me off, as if to say, “Nope, I’m not turning.” So I laid on the horn again and waved my hands wildly. He finally turned, and then when I turned and was stopped in traffic, he pulled up to me, rolled down his window (and I rolled mine down too) and angrily said, “Li’l smaje’s mom, that was really rude,” and then he said something that I’m pretty sure was, “I was on the phone!”
Now, I may have misheard that last part, and I hope I did, because what the fuck? Don’t honk my horn at you because you’re on the phone? But I was flaming pissed off now, especially because he had called me “Li’l smaje’s mom” and not my actual name (which I assumed he knew because I was friendly with his wife).
He drove off and I started bawling in the car, just bawling and screaming and crying. I cried all the way home. I had a complete nervous breakdown that day. Luckily, I turned to friends and my fantastic support group, including my doctor, and I’m doing much better at coping (plus, baby is only waking me up once a night now).
The next time I saw him, it was about a month later. I hadn’t spoken to his wife since the last time we’d hung out, so I assume he told his wife about the altercation and for one reason or another, she decided to cease contact with me. But he walked right up to me in the lobby of daycare and IN FRONT OF MY CHILD told me I had been very rude, and that I should be ASHAMED of myself for the way I acted (for honking my horn at him?). And he fucking called me “Li’l smaje’s mom” again. And I poured on the sugar – I told him I was so very sorry, that it had been a horrible morning, that I had a screaming baby in the car, and I was so very very sorry. I meant it, but I was still pissed off at him for HIS actions. But it was obvious he didn’t think he was in the wrong in any way. He was taken aback a b it by my apology, and just kinda nodded and said, “Well, good.”
Now I can’t handle seeing him. We ran into each other this morning at daycare again and he just makes me so uncomfortable. I really despise him, and I despise my actions too, and it’s like every time I see him, I’m reminded of the fact that I flew off the handle. And his wife is friendly with me, but tension feels high between us too, and we haven’t hung out at all since the incident. I saw them both at a birthday party yesterday, and it almost ruined my time. Just seeing one or both of them makes me feel awful, and I want those feelings to stop.
I’ve already apologized, and I really can’t apologize again – especially since I feel that he was in the wrong as well (not just for his douchy driving, but for the way he acted towards me afterwards). But I just want closure on this stupid thing so I don’t feel awful every time I see either of them! I almost wish the wife would say something to me, so that I could at least explain my point of view, but it seems she’s not interested.
TL;DR version I acted poorly, but so did someone else. I’ve apologized, but I still feel awful whenever I see him. Ruined a potential friendship, and now just feel so uncomfortable. Ugh.