I realize there are those among us who think post parties are a big fat waste of time. Well you can move right on along, you old grumpy grumptertons!
It’s time for all the SDMB peeps to give a shout out for our boy, woodstockbirdybird, on this extra special occasion of his 1000th post.
For anyone not as familiar with Mr. birdybird as you’d like to be, give this thread a whirl. Still don’t feel like you know him quite well enough? Have a lookit here.
Before you know it, you’ll be signed up for his fan club and wearing the official woodstockbirdybird T-shirt, sporting his favorite one-liner: “If you’re looking for sympathy, you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
It’s his kind of offerings that keep me coming back here day after day. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve got a naked pic.
Time to give your testimony! How has accepting woodstock into your life changed it for the better? How has his presence on the boards given you the will to carry on? Or maybe…what has he posted that made you kind of laugh?
Woodstockbirdybird is great. His “Things you didn’t know about Woodstockbirdybird” thread is quite possibly the most consistantly funny thread I’ve ever read on these here boards. He rocks. Congratulations on the 1K.
First off, we share the same last name. So, like we could be related or something.
He likes good music, and made me a Husker Du CD. Kickass!
I went to the Fillmore and saw Shane MacGowan with woodstockbirdybird. That in and of itself is impressive.
He started an appreciation thread for me that made me all warm and fuzzy.
But seriously. woodstock, you rock, plain and simple. Thanks for keeping me laughing, and if you ever make it out to Boston or Providence I’ll take you to the local equivalents of the Fillmore.
Uh, hello, katie, I’m only at 999. Way to jump the gun. Next you’ll be throwing me a 50th birthday party. Patience is a virtue, Ms. Instant Gratification.
I’m truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love in this thread. Three whole posts! Dare to dream, my fellow dopers. Someday maybe it’ll happen to you.
At least I can take comfort in the fact that three cool people posted. katie, rasa and fran, you all know I love you (in a completely non-sexual way). Well, except fran. And Rasa and katie. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I don’t actually love you guys. Just that it’s a very sexual kind of love.
No, I understand that it’s been a rough week for a lot of people, and threads like this aren’t bound to mean as much as other, more pressing matters. But it means a lot to me. Namely, it gives me fresh masturbation material. Anything revolving around me gets me extremely hot.
Thanks to those of you who worried about me this past week. These have indeed been trying times, but I want you all to know I’m all right, and I’ve made it through a stronger person. That’s right: I decided not to give up my virginity to Dylan. If he truly loves me, he’ll be willing to wait. But again, thanks for the concern.
Woodstockbirdybird sucks ass! Why don’t you get a name that’s easier to type, jerk?! Like…Wood or Stock or Bird or something. You piece of crap.
Oh, wait, I thought we were supposed to rag on him.
Woody is rad because he made me TWO Robyn Hitchcock CDs that I listen to almost every day. That, and he’s friggin funny as hell.
I love Woodstockbirdybird like a brother. Except I don’t like my brother at all. So I love him more like a total stranger, who I just sorta nod at on the street, in a cordial passing-by sorta way, so as to not let him know I’m admiring his ass. Sorta like that, but not really.
And now I find out he likes Robyn Hitchcock. Next thing you know, he’ll have all the Soft Boys stuff too…
Congratulations on reaching 1000. And many happy reruns.
Naturally, I never want this thread to end, so I shall continue posting to it far beyond what is reasonably called for, and shall attempt to respond to each of you individually. Although, it’s more than likely I’ll grow bored with the whole thing after a few hours and resume indulging in my Playstation 2 jones. Uh, I mean, volunteering at the Red Cross. Esprix, I’m pretty sure I know what you mean, but I’d better check my code book just to be sure. Wouldn’t want another mixup like the last one where I ended up accidentally fondling the Pope, now would we? Demo, I’ll forgive your insolent remarks, but only because you give such fabulous blowjobs.
Oh, you know I kid because I love. Seriously, you’re easily one of the 2,000 coolest active posters I’ve met on these boards. The oral sex is just a wonderful fringe benefit. Wicked Blue and Silver Fire: I’m sorry, but I have absolutely no idea who either of you are. Newbies, by any chance?
Just kidding. In fact, I know nearly everything about both of you. Thanks to the internet, I’ve got access to your credit reports, psychological profiles, and permanent records from your school years (Silver, are those stories about you underneath the bleachers true? Call me.). In fact, you might want to change your routines a little bit. You make this whole infatuation thing (“stalking” is such an ugly word, I’m sure you’ll agree) almost too easy. I like the new hairdo, Rose, BTW. And Silver? Don’t go into the bedroom just yet. I’m not finished downloading these Britney Spears nakes on your computer yet. Arden Ranger, don’t you ever get tired of that silly bear making a fool of you by stealing all those pic-a-nic baskets? You might try taking your job title a little more seriously. People are starting to talk. MrVisible, do you ever stop to wonder why they called that show “CHiPs”? I mean, they were pretty arbitrary with that assignation of the “i”, don’t you think? I mean, it would have made more sense to call the show “CHaPs”, don’t you think? They were both guys, after all. Oh well. At least this way, I can ask people to pass me the bag of tortilla Ponch-and-Jons at parties, which usually makes all women present want to sleep with me immediately.
But enough about me. What’s your opinion on frogs?
Silver, I know I said I’d try to respond to everybody, but I already replied to you once. If I did it again, it would just be a cheap, self-serving ploy to bump this thread back to the top. Sorry.
Right, well, I’m ditching my plans for woodstock’s 50th birthday bash, despite having settled on the “burgling of a pewter tankard” episode for a theme. He’s an ungrateful bastard, and a thief to boot.
chique, of course I know who you are. I’ve read many of your fundie tracts on your website, and I must say they are hilarious. Cavemen riding dinosaurs indeed. I’m also a big fan of your bananas, though potassium does tend to give me heartburn. It’s nice to see someone’s still brave enough to continue exploiting our South American brethren. Kepp up the good work. Batty, you little apple fritter - sure I’m an asshole. ASSHOLE LIKE A FOX! But it’s OK, I won’t hold it against you. Stop by sometime and I’ll buy you some smokes and beer. TwistOfFate, I’m glad you changed your screen name from the unwieldy “OnABedOfNailsYouMakeMeWait”. That was really starting to piss me off, mon frere (pardon my French). Anyway, what did you expect? Keeping fine pewter within reach of the public like you’re the Franklin Mint or something. You’re lucky you weren’t overrun by hordes of swarming retireestrying to pummel you to death with their Princess Di commemorative silver dollars and Elvis Presley ‘68 comeback special collector plates. Oh, and you’ll never reach me from Hell’s heart, as I have recently moved to its kidneys. The rent’s a little steep, but at least I can walk down the street without some fucking high-priced defense attorney trying to bum a cigarette. katie, how can you call me an ungrateful bastard? It’s true my mother was quite the stankin’-ass ho and I have no idea which of her pimps is my true father, but ungrateful? Didn’t you get those e-mails I sent you? You know, the ones about the Gordon Sinclair speech, and the Nostradamus prediction, and the lovely portrait of the eagle crying? If that doesn’t spell gratitude, and with a personal touch I might add, then I don’t know what this world’s coming to, buutchunk (nothing personal - you know how I hate to end my sentences with prepositions). Or are you still bitter because I neglected to throw a post count party for your 236th post? I’m sorry, honey, but it’s like I told you: nobody cares. Kiss kiss.
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