I thought about putting this in “About this Message Board”, but it’s not really anything more than ranting…
At the Chicago thing, Ike was telling me about all these funny things that Flora had posted. Naturally, I wanted to read these pearls of wisdom and humor, so I popped into the search engine. Guess what? No posts by Flora McFlimsey. Everyday since then, it’s been the same.
Grrr…fuckin’ computers.
“…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…”
–Jack Kerouac, On the Road
Wishful thinking, Chris? You seem to have taken a shine to the Ukemeister after the Chicago thingy.
My evidence: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003027.html
Or maybe it’s all a ploy by the Uke-a-maniac to get wimmins.
Observe:
Yep, Flora and I are together. I’m a taken man. I’m deeply in love. I know that makes you want me even more.
See? Alluring, huh? I toldya. It’s the cyberspace equivalent to a man wearing a wedding ring!
Try a partial match on the name “Flora” I worked for me. I think the “search” engine doesn’t like spaces. Searching for “Cecil Adams” will yield no results also.
“Yep, Flora and I are together. I’m a taken man. I’m deeply in love. I know that makes you want me even more.”
Umm, where the hell did you read this, Cant? Both Mrs. Uke and myself are all akimbo and agog to find out.
Do I exist? Do I not? Am I merely an elaborate plot on the part on the New Yorkers to make the rest of the country green with envy?
You’ll never know . . .
–The Shadow
Flora, if it were a real quote, I would have used the
thingy.
Sorry to disappoint.
Ah–but WHOM did you dissappoint? Chris, me, or his wife?
. . . I’ll never tell . . .
Oooh! I’m so intrigued!
{strolls into the thread whistling a perky tune…stops…reads…quietly backsteps out]
Wishful thinking my ass…I love Flora. The title is just sort of a play on the whole “Flora’s dead” thing that happened recently. I just think it sucks that I can find posts for everyone BUT Flora. Ike was a bit sloshy when he was quoting her posts and I wanted to read them for myself.
“…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…”
–Jack Kerouac, On the Road
{stiffly} Sloshy? SLOSHY?
Chris, the thing you have to understand is, Flora’s always drunk when she posts. So when I quote 'em, I sound drunk. Capeesh?
Uke
Ike, puh-LEASE. You know that lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine.
Ike: “Your lips?”
Flora: “No, my liquor.”
Chris, I knew it was a joke…
I was joking too!
Note to self: Don’t try to be funny.
